Chapter 36
Thirty-Six
JADE
Darren asked me to be present for the paternity test results along with Xander, the attorneys, and him.
Presenting a united front of support is important, so it’s a no-brainer that I’m sitting here with them today in a conference room.
Darren and the two attorneys who represent the band have their heads together, speaking quietly about something unrelated to this.
Xander has turned his chair away from the table and is looking out over the view of Atlanta from the high rise’s floor-to-ceiling windows.
“You good?” I ask quietly.
He nods and sets his hand on my knee. “Thanks for being here, I know this isn’t easy for you.”
I put my hand over his and squeeze. “I wouldn’t be anywhere else.”
“Xander?” Martin, one of the attorneys, leans his hip against the table and sets a pile of papers in front of him.
“Yes?” he turns to face him.
“Ms. Matthews’s attorneys have drawn up preliminary paperwork regarding custody and child support in case you are confirmed to be the father.
Read through everything, including our notes in the margin.
Our opinion is that their requests are a bit too aggressive.
Unfortunately, you likely won’t do better in front of a judge, though. ”
“Okay.” Xander leans forward, his eyes scanning the paper line by line.
I take a deep breath and think through every possibility today. If the baby isn’t his, we say nothing and move on with our lives. If it is his, we protect everyone’s privacy as much as possible and only respond to press inquiries from legitimate outlets.
The only thing that I haven’t figured out yet is how these results affect our relationship moving forward.
This is so new between us that I honestly don’t know.
He’s right, this is hard for me. All I can think about is the moment I took a pregnancy test my freshman year of college with my three best friends in the room with me.
The way my heart broke all over again when those two pink lines showed up within seconds.
I laid in bed that night, sleepless, with a hand pressed above the tiny embryo growing inside me, and experienced the entire range of human emotion.
It wasn’t just his fault, of course, we were both there.
I knew exactly when it happened. His truck at the beach the last time we went surfing.
When he told me he loved me, only to wordlessly abandon me the same way so many other men had throughout my life.
Quitting my job is an option I’ve considered as all this unfolded.
Weeks ago, I started revamping my resume.
It would suck, but I can start over; I have before, and I know I’ll be fine in the long run.
Xander loves me as much as I do him. I believe this down to my bones.
That doesn’t stop the voice in my mind, telling me that he’ll leave again.
That I’m not good enough for anyone to stay for.
The conference room doors open, and a petite blonde woman walks in carrying a beautiful baby girl.
Her fine platinum blonde curls are pulled into two tiny pigtails on her head.
Giant brown eyes look around the room before laying her head down on her mother’s shoulder.
Tension thickens the air as Ashley Matthews and Xander look back and forth at one another for the first time in what I assume is nearly two years.
Her attorneys follow behind her, both older men who take seats flanking her on either side.
“How are you?” Xander asks in greeting.
“I’m alright, all things considered,” she answers quietly. “This is Blakeleigh.”
“She’s beautiful,” he says.
At the sound of his voice, the baby turns her gaze his way. Aside from the obvious brown eyes and blonde hair, I can’t tell if she looks like him. But he’s right, she is a gorgeous baby. Her mom is just as beautiful, too.
“I trust you’ve looked over the parenting contract we sent?” one of her attorneys asks.
“He is now,” Martin answers coolly.
“We sent that to you two weeks ago,” the other man snaps.
“And he’s been busy on tour. You’re lucky we found time to meet for this farce as is,” Darren retorts in full asshole mode.
Ashley flinches at his biting tone. Her body curves around the baby. The movement makes the protector in me come alive. I stand before anyone can go back and forth again and extend my hand across the table.
“I’m Jade Maxwell, Blue Sunday’s PR manager.” I offer her my hand first.
“Ashley Matthews.” She gives me a firm shake.
Her attorneys follow suit, introducing themselves to me.
“Do you have the results?” I ask them. “I’m sure Ms. Matthews is just as anxious for the results as Mr. Jacobs is.”
“My assistant is getting them,” the one to her left says.
A young man enters holding an envelope. He hands it to the attorney closest to him and leaves just as quickly. One of her attorneys leans over and whispers to her. She looks down at the table and shakes her head.
“I’ll open it,” the man says gently. He slides his finger under the flap and tears it open.
I risk a glance over at Xander. His body is stiff with tension as he watches the man read with the best poker face I’ve ever seen. I wish I could reach over and hold Xander’s hands to loosen them from the fists currently turning his knuckles white.
The attorney slides the paper over to our side and looks at Ashley. He shakes his head slightly, and her face crumples. I wish someone would say something, so we all know.
“Thank fuck,” Darren says on whoosh of breath from the other end of the table. “You’re not the father, Xander.”
Xander’s body deflates as all the tension that’s been plaguing him evaporates in a single second. He releases an audible breath. Martin claps his hand over his shoulder, giving him a congratulatory squeeze.
“Excuse me,” Ashley stands quickly and heads for the door, leaving her diaper bag and purse behind.
I don’t know why I do it, but I get up and follow her out of the conference room.
Both her attorneys begin sniping back and forth with our team, and the last thing I want to do is listen to grown men act like complete assholes.
I catch a glimpse of her disappearing into a bathroom and follow her inside.
She stands in the corner sobbing and pressing kisses to her daughter’s cheek. “I’m so sorry, baby girl,” I hear her whisper as she rocks her.
“Ashley?” I say quietly as I approach her. “Are you okay?”
She glances over, her eyes rimmed red and glassy. “Would you be?”
“Good point,” I concede.
“Sorry,” she says. “I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch.”
“I can handle it,” I say with a soft smile. “Since it isn’t Xander, do you know who the father is?”
She nods and tears spill down her cheeks. “My former boss.”
“Former?” Last I knew she was still employed at the same dentist’s office she had been for the past four years.
“He fired me.” She bounces swiftly on her feet, pressing another kiss to her daughter’s head. “Now I have a baby with no job, and the father wants nothing to do with me or her.”
“That’s awful.” I grab some toilet paper and bring it to her so she can blow her nose. “You’re an influencer, too, right?”
She blows her nose. “Yeah, but my brand deals have slowed to a trickle this year.”
I reach into my purse and pull out a business card. “This is my friend Eva; she’s an agent for a lot of high-level influencers. I’ll let her know you need new representation and to expect your call.”
She takes it from me. “Why would you do that for me? I assume this has caused a lot of trouble for the band.”
“My dad abandoned my mom and I when I was a baby.” I gesture around the room.
“The world is a dumpster fire. We have to stick together to make it.” I point at the card in her hand.
“And I can’t promise that is going to solve all your problems, but it’s a step in the right direction.
Your daughter is beautiful and deserves the world. ”
Tears overflow from her eyes again. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
I leave the bathroom and come face to face with Xander. He looks over my shoulder and catches a glimpse of Ashley in the corner of the bathroom. The corners of his eyes pinch in concern when he looks back at me.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah.”
“Is she?”
“No, but I hope she will be. I gave her the name of an agent who represents influencers.”
“Should I talk to her?”
“That’s up to you.”
“Was anyone else in there, or were you two alone?”
“It was just us.”
He nods and walks past me, pushing the bathroom door open. Darren comes over to me as Xander disappears inside. He leans against the wall with a deep sigh.
“Thank fuck that’s over with.” He rolls up his shirtsleeves, exposing the tattoos that cover both his arms. “I’m looking forward to spending the rest of the tour with no scandals.”
“Me, too.”
“What’s he doing in there?”
“Talking to Ashley.”
“What’d you say to her?”
“Just wanted to check on her. She was so upset.”
“Yeah, upset about missing a massive paycheck.”
“Don’t be a dick,” I say quietly. “It was more than that.”
“If you say so.”
His phone chimes with a notification. “The car’s downstairs for us. I’ll go down if you wait for him?”
“Sure.”
Xander emerges from the bathroom a few minutes later. He slips his phone into his pocket as we fall in step together walking toward the bank of elevators. Neither of us say anything until we’re alone in the elevator.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’m good.” He looks over at me. “Are you?”
I nod slowly. “I am. Happy for you but sad for her and especially the baby.”
“I know. The other guy sounds like an asshole.”
“Yeah.”
“Are we good?” He turns his body to mine and lowers his forehead until it rests against mine. “Please say we are.”
“Yes.” I wrap my arms around his waist and tilt my head until our lips brush. “We’re good.”
The final shows of the North American leg of the tour go off without a hitch. The guys are a mesmerizing sight as they lock in together under the bright stage lights. It’s impossible not to get carried away in the storm of their ever-increasing success and popularity.
Xander takes every possible opportunity to pull me into empty rooms and fuck me until I’m a quivering, sloppy mess.
It doesn’t matter if it’s before a show or after.
He’s back on me as soon as we're locked in the same hotel room. I’ve had more sex with him in the past few weeks than I probably have in the past decade combined.
It’s the moments in between the incredible sex that really get me. Our once acerbic quips to each other have softened into teasing and light-hearted banter. Late nights sharing dreams and making future plans. It feels like it did when we were younger, so full of hope and happiness.
Yet I can’t ignore the building unease that churns in my gut. Something feels off, and I can’t pinpoint anything. I don’t want to say anything to Xander, but the harder I try to ignore this feeling, the more challenging it becomes to do so.
Which is why I’m pulling Hazel aside at the airport.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I lean over and ask quietly. “Privately?”
“Of course.” She taps Stone’s arm and waits for him to pull his headphones off. “We’re going to run to the bathroom before we get on the plane.”
He nods, and we make our way to the ladies’ room. It’s a private terminal and pretty much empty aside from us, so we don’t have to worry about anyone coming in.
“What’s up?” she asks once the door closes behind us.
“I don’t entirely know.” I pace in front of the row of sinks. “Everything’s been going really well with Xander.”
“I’ve noticed,” she says with a smile. “I love it.”
“Me, too.” I stop moving and look at her. “But I feel like the other shoe is about to drop or something. Like something is about to go terribly wrong.”
She takes in what I’m saying with a slow nod. “Do you think it’s because of your history with him? From what you’ve told me, everything was perfect and then it all came crashing down so fast. Maybe that’s just messing with your head?”
“Probably.”
“Have you tried talking to him about it?”
“No. He’s felt so much better since everything was settled with the paternity test. I don’t want to all of a sudden load him up with my own issues.”
“They’re not just your issues, though. It affects both of you. If you want this to work this time, you have to be a team.”
“You’re right. He wants me to stay with him tonight, so I’ll talk to him about it later.” I pull her in for a hug. “I’m so glad Stone jumped over that couch and brought you to us.”
“I know.” She hugs me back. “Even though I thought this was the worst idea ever conceived in the history of humankind.”
“Well, that’s extreme when someone brought mullets back on trend.”
She laughs as we walk out of the bathroom. “Stone won’t stop talking about growing one during the break between tour legs. I told him I’d move back to New York if he did.”
Stone and Xander are the only ones left waiting for us when we get out. Stone wraps his arm around Hazel’s shoulders and guides her out to the plane. I start to follow, but Xander grasps my arm and pulls me to him.
His lips come down on mine in a searing kiss. I sink my fingers into the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer. We both lose ourselves for a moment. Voices from further down the terminal have me pulling back.
“What was that for?” I ask a bit breathlessly.
“Since I’ll be stuck on a plane with you for hours and unable to touch or kiss you.” He starts leading us out.
“Get it out of your system?” I ask with a laugh.
“I’ll never have you out of my system,” he says with so much seriousness I nearly stumble. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” I smile up at him. “My heel must have caught a crack in the pavement.”
“One foot in front of the other, Freckles.” He takes my bag from my hand, even though he’s got a guitar strapped to his back and his own bag to deal with.
“I’ll try to remember that.”