Chapter Twenty-Eight
The first two hours of airport parking are free, and I don’t allow myself to read the rates for anything beyond that. If Dax doesn’t show, if I do have to leave my dad’s car in the lot, I don’t want to know how much that’s going to cost me. But Dax is worth it.
I leave my bag in the trunk because I need to have hope that Dax will show. I squash the image of me having to come back to get it before waiting on standby.
I may have scared the person working the information booth with my numerous questions about where Dax’s flight would let out.
They reassured me many times which carousel the luggage would be unloaded onto, but I doubt Dax checked a bag.
I’m worried I’m coming across less star-crossed lover and more fanatic, so I thank them and go to study the arrivals board.
There’s only a handful of other flights landing at the same time as Dax’s.
I honestly don’t know what to expect, with the way we left things. I’ll use my standby ticket if I have to, but god do I hope he just shows up. I’m not leaving him, and I’m willing to fight for us, but I want him to fight for us, too.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket, and I ease it out to silence it, pausing when I see the name on the caller ID. Swiping to accept, I bring it to my ear in a daze.
“Robb,” I say by way of greeting. “Thanks for calling me back.”
“Sorry, I was in a meeting. Honestly, there’s a special circle of hell for anyone who schedules a meeting right before a holiday weekend. Anyway, what’s up? This better be a celebratory call because if you called me with bad news right before Thanksgiving—”
“You might want to sit down, then,” I say hollowly, sinking onto the uncomfortable plastic airport seating.
Silence greets my words, followed by shuffling on the other end of the line and the groaning of a chair as she presumably sinks into it.
“Was it you?” I press.
“What—”
“Don’t,” I cut across her, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Were you the leak? I need to know. Please don’t lie to me.”
Robb sighs heavily. “Do you want the long answer or the short answer?”
My stomach sinks, what little hope I had that she hadn’t stabbed me in the back wheezing out of me. “I want the truth.”
A pregnant pause, then, “I wasn’t the leak—at first. Mike already knew they were recording.
The same source told him about Nixed and their retirement, but that was a lot harder for him to verify since so few people knew.
He asked me since I was working on the article with you.
I told him to fuck off, but then… Sloane, he knew about you and Dax.
Mike was at Punkapalooza that summer. There’s photos of the two of you backstage.
It was either confirm what he already knew so he could run it, or he was going to implode your credibility before the article came out.
I knew we could bounce back from the leaks, so I chose the lesser of two evils. ”
Even though she can’t see me, I nod, feeling wrung out. “Well, it all came to light anyway.”
“I saw,” she says sadly. “I’m sorry. Is John having a meltdown?”
Despite myself, it all comes spilling out of me.
The changes John wanted me to make to pander to the internet mob, me telling him no and squandering the tiniest chance I had of getting an offer after he’d already nepo-hired someone.
I don’t know if I’m mad at Robb or if I understand her—or some combination of both—but she was my rock at AP, and I desperately need an ally in the industry right now.
“Oh, and I turned down Rolling Stone this morning.”
A sad noise comes over the line. “I understand.” There’s a beat of silence before she speaks again.
“For what it’s worth, I’m really sorry, Sloane, for how…
for how it all went down. Please don’t let this stop you.
If there’s anything I can do—Actually,” she says, her soft tone shifting, sharpening, “I cannot believe he—I’m sorry to cut this short, but I need to make a call. Chat soo—”
“Wait,” I interrupt. “Who was the leak?”
Robb hums. “I can’t say, but Final may want to rethink their tour lineup next year. Pay attention to who The Offbeat has in their next volume. Tell Dax I say hi and that I’m sorry.”
The call disconnects, and I feel a strange mix of relief and betrayal.
The tour lineup isn’t public, not even close, but I know Dax’s mentees—Hudson and Hollow Graves—were in consideration as openers.
If I’m right, it’s certainly better than the leak being a member of Final, but to be betrayed by the very person they’ve been Mr. Miyagi-ing…
I take a deep breath, shaking the mix of emotions out of my limbs.
I have a bigger issue to tackle right now.
A gaggle of passengers push through the security door and begin making their way toward the baggage carousel for the Cleveland flight, and I leap out of my chair, heart in hand.
The edges of my vision go fuzzy, and I realize I’ve forgotten to breathe.
I remind myself not for the first time to look into calming breathing exercises, but I settle for breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.
A strangled noise escapes me when I spot him, half a head taller than everyone else. He looks the same as he always does, and it’s so goddamned comforting.
I’m practically crawling out of my skin as I wait for the crowd to mosey along.
He’s looking down at his phone so he doesn’t see me until he’s nearly right in front of me.
He looks up as he’s about to pass me, as if on instinct.
His whole body seems to relax, a smile spreading slowly across his face, and it might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
His duffle thuds against the ground as he reaches me, one arm coming around me to pick me up, the other looping behind my back, holding me close. I wrap my legs around his waist, my hands cradling the back of his head as he rests his forehead against my collarbone.
“I’m sorry.”
I don’t know which one of us says it first, but it’s all we say for a moment as we cling to each other. I’ve been home for nearly twenty-four hours, but I finally feel it here, now, in the circle of his arms.
“I’m so glad it’s you,” he murmurs into the crook of my neck.
I pull back a fraction to study his face. “What?”
A blush blooms across his cheeks. “I may have texted B to pick me up, but Gray told her you’d already left to get me.”
I suck on the inside of my cheek, shaking my head at the ceiling. Of course they were all scheming behind my back. “I’ll always come for you.”
I hear how it sounds the moment the words are past my lips, and Dax grins up at me. “Yeah you do,” he growls in my ear.
I roll my eyes as he lowers me to the ground.
“I hate fighting,” I breathe.
“I know, baby. Me, too.” He sighs, pressing his forehead to mine as if we’d entered some sort of touch deficit and he needed to rectify it immediately.
“We’re gonna have to sometimes, and we might not be able to figure it out in one conversation, but as long as we keep talking to each other, I think we can make this work—I want to make this work. ”
I open my mouth to speak, but he holds up his hand.
“Sorry, I… I’ve been rehearsing this in my head the whole flight, and I really need to get it out.”
I smile softly, nodding for him to continue.
“I think I fell in love with you the first time I saw you.”
My breath hitches. I should’ve gone first. Of course his apology will be a fucking masterpiece worthy of a museum. Mine will be the word-vomit equivalent of a kid’s macaroni art, barely worthy of the refrigerator door.
“You were backstage at… I can’t remember what band because I was only paying attention to you—”
“Lay it on thicker, please,” I goad him, fanning myself.
He shushes me with a dopey smile. “Everyone else was socializing but you were completely oblivious, locked in on the stage. You weren’t dancing, weren’t moving, maybe not even breathing, because when the set was over, you took this massive inhale like you’d been holding your breath.
The band came off stage and you immediately began networking with their crew.
I had no idea who you were or what you were doing, but I could feel how badly you wanted to be there.
And I… I’d been in survival mode for so long I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted something like that.
” He swallows thickly. “Afterwards, I was on a mission to find you, to be around you, to know you, to be wanted by you. And then when you said we should end it—”
I slide my hand into his, squeezing gently to let him know I’m listening.
“I’d spent a long time thinking I wouldn’t be around, so what was the point in wanting, in fighting, in making someone stay, in them making room for me in their life, when I wouldn’t be—” He shakes his head, rolling his lips inward and pressing them together.
“I didn’t know how to ask for that three years ago.
I didn’t think I was worth all that. But I’ve got a whole life I didn’t think I’d get, and I…
I’ve got to figure out what I want to do with it.
“I don’t have big dreams like yours, because I’ve had mine. And yeah, I really want to enjoy this last era of Final, but more than that, I want you. I want to enjoy it with you. I want to call you after a long day on tour and feel grounded just hearing your old-lady smoker voice—”
I huff, rolling my eyes. I came out of the womb sounding like I smoked five packs a day despite never having touched a cigarette in my life.
Dax ducks his head, placing a kiss to the hinge of my jaw before whispering, “And to have filthy phone sex with you.”