Chapter 12
Jesse
It’s been a hectic week. Work’s been nonstop with it being the final week of the season. I only managed to see Ella once, a quick visit on my way back from the airport. But with the season officially wrapped up, we’re both looking forward to having more time together.
Ella, on the other hand, has a schedule that’s all over the place. Trying to keep up with it is like solving a jigsaw puzzle. Night shift one day, day shift the next, a short break, then back on nights. It’s chaotic, kind of like Mason’s work. I don’t know how they do it, but somehow they do.
“When’s the last time you did this?” I ask Ella as I watch her paint camouflage over her face in my bathroom mirror.
“With you.” She laughs.
“Yeah?”
She nods. I don’t know why that surprises me.
Maybe none of her exes deer hunted, or maybe they did and she didn’t go.
Ella’s pretty laid back, though, like me.
Always down for doing whatever because she just wants to be with me.
Even if it involves sitting in a blind for three hours, she doesn’t mind. Something I always admired about her.
We loved each other ten years ago and I know now that’s never stopped.
Although we have yet to say it, it seems to be an unspoken thing that lingers between us.
Tonight, however, that changes. No more holding back.
I’m going to tell her exactly how I feel.
When she says it back, it’ll be everything.
Once I get the blind set up, we get settled inside. I forget how much I hated this blind. It’s a pain to set up and the zippers are too loud. I’d rather hunt out of a tree stand but Ella isn’t one for heights and I wanted her to be comfortable.
“So who’s shooting?” She leans in and whispers.
I look to see her trying not laugh. “That would be me.” I pat her leg.
“Rude.”
“You wanna shoot? You don’t have your license, babe.”
She rolls her eyes and shifts in the loud chair.
“So what was Cody’s problem the other day?” she whispers.
“When?”
“When we were decorating at your parents’, you asked if he was jealous and he sorta laughed and said, ‘hard pass.’”
“How do you remember details like that?”
“I’m a woman.”
“I am well aware.” I snort.
She elbows me. “Just answer the question.”
I sigh before I look to her. She’s not even gonna believe me when I tell her, and I want to be careful about how much I even share. It’s Cody’s business, not mine, and it’s still a sore subject, even all these years later.
“Cody was engaged,” I blurt.
Her eyes bug. “Really?”
“She left him at the altar. Literally. They were minutes away from saying I do.”
Ella’s reaction is what I expected it to be. You don’t hear about stuff like that actually happening, you only see it in movies or TV shows.
“That’s… awful,” she says.
I’m waiting for her to ask another question, but she doesn’t. She looks sick to her stomach, though.
“He’s alright now. But don’t bring it up.”
“I won’t.” She shakes her head and doesn’t say another word. I find it a little weird; I thought she’d wanna know everything. Her name, how long they were together, what her reason was… but she doesn’t.
* * *
Once we get back to my place, I let her get changed first. Busying myself, I throw a few more logs into the wood stove and let the dogs out. I reach for a bottle of wine above my fridge and two glasses.
Hearing her footsteps, I look up to see her in a sweatshirt and jeans. Those damn jeans. I love her in jeans.
“Oh, wine?”
“If you want,” I offer.
“Sure.”
I hand her a glass. “Cheers to not seeing a damn thing tonight,” I joke. She laughs and we clink the glasses together before sipping it.
“We’ve never drank together legally,” she points out.
I laugh. “That’s weird to think about.”
“I know. It’s weird, we didn’t know each other basically our entire twenties.” Her tone is somber. I hate that. I don’t want to have some sad, depressing night. I want to tell her how I still feel about her.
“Hey.” I round the island. “Let’s not go there.”
“I just wish we wouldn’t have missed out on so much together.”
“Me too. But at least we found each other again. Better late than never.” I attempt to re assure her with a kiss on her head.
She takes another sip of wine before turning to face me. Her smile is playful and her lips catch my eye. I kiss her softly.
Deepening the kiss, my hands touch her body more. Urgent to bring her closer to me.
My throat starts to close just as the three words I’ve been holding back are about to leave my tongue. My nerves tighten, and just as I finally gather the courage to say it, she pulls away.
“Jess, hold on.” She pushes on me gently. Her face is unreadable, but I still try to make sense of it.
Giving her the space she seems to want, I watch her sit down on my couch and follow.
I sit beside her. “What’s going on?”
She fixes her hair and sighs. “I’m distracted.”
I reach for her and rub her back. “Distracted?”
“Yeah.” She tucks her hair behind her ear and shifts her body.
“I wasn’t planning on more, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“No, I know you weren’t.” She sighs deeply, standing up and beginning to pace. “It’s something from the other day …”
“What happened the other day?”
“You have to promise you won’t freak out,” she warns, raising a finger at me. My body tenses as fear washes over. That’s the last thing I want to hear.
I shake my head. “Ella …”
“It’s Addison.”
“What about her?”
“The other day, when I got to the house to help your mom decorate …”
“Yeah?”
“She was upstairs with Brantley.”
I stand up, my heart starting to race. “Was anyone else home?”
“No.” She lets out a quick breath to finish. “But I don’t think anything was going on,”
“Well, then what were they doing? What did she say?” My voice is turning tight.
“She didn’t say, she just told me not to tell anyone. Especially you.”
“Well, if that’s not a red flag then I don’t know what is.” I scoff.
“They were downstairs in seconds. I don’t think it’s what it seems, but for some reason I still felt like I should—”
“Why didn’t you tell me when I got there? I could’ve said something.”
Her eyes flicker, caught off guard. “Because I didn’t want to cause a problem. She didn’t want me to say anything.”
“Doesn’t that speak for itself?”
“I don’t know. I guess. This is why I wasn’t even going to say anything.” She shakes her head, looking away from me.
“You should have! We just met the guy! I wasn’t a fan then, and now you’re telling me this?”
Ella crosses her arms. “Do you really think Addison’s like that?” she fires back. “Because I don’t, and I’ve only known her for a little while now.”
“I know she’s not, but I barely know this kid. I do know he’s an eighteen-year-old bull rider which to me translates to cocky, reckless, and thinking with the wrong head,” I say as my mind spins with all the worst possibilities.
I know there are guys out there who throw out ultimatums like nothing.
The “sleep with me or it’s over” type. I can’t stand that.
I’ve been on the receiving end, with Lexie.
I just hope Addison is smart enough to see that a guy who thinks like that isn’t worth her time.
She deserves someone who respects her values.
After a moment of silence, Ella takes a deep breath. “Babe, Addison is smart. She’s faith-driven; she’s not going to jeopardize any of that for some guy.”
I can’t help but sarcastically laugh to myself before meeting her gaze. “You and I were both pretty faith-driven back then too. Didn’t stop us now, did it?”
Her face shifts, and I can tell she’s taken back by my words. She straightens, hurt flooding her eyes. Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have said that.
“I’m not mad at you, Ella. You just caught me off guard. I can’t ignore this now,” I explain gently.
She crosses her arms. “Then have it out with Addison. Not me,” she snaps, her voice trying not to break.
Feeling guilty, I reach for her. “I’m sorry. You’re right. That wasn’t fair of me.” Holding her against me, the tension eases when I feel her hug me back.
“It’s okay. I know you’re protective. I get it.” She makes me feel a lot better. I’m usually not one to get mad or upset like that but when it involves my family, especially my little sister, I will raise a little hell.
“Let’s just drop all this and enjoy tonight.” I insist.
“Yeah. Okay.”
“More wine?” I offer and reach for both our glasses. She gives me the nod of approval and follows me to the kitchen.
As I pour, a memory strikes. “Remember when you got caught upstairs trying to take care of my drunk ass?”
“How could I forget?” Ella huffs out but follows it with a laugh.