Chapter 3
LAST STANDING: TWO WEEKS LATER…
Dexz stood at his mother’s grave, gazing at her chrome casket being lowered into the ground.
He felt so much anger because he wasn’t there to fight for her like he wanted to.
Dexz knew his mother couldn’t stand her ground.
He didn’t take her fears seriously either because he was so mad at the whole situation.
As Dexz stood in silence, he didn’t know how to feel about his mother.
When he was a young boy, he was such a momma’s boy, but as time went by, he had no connection with her.
He saw a weak side of his mother that made him feel like she was the type of woman that he never wanted to marry.
His father walked all over Liza, causing her life to end at such an early age.
Liza never thought for herself. A man always thought for her.
That’s why her family disowned her. The only person who was willing to come to California to bury her was his Aunt Silvia.
“I told your mother all that illegal money would end her life like this,” Silvia said as she stood next to Dexz. She wore an expensive all-black pantsuit, with a black veil covering her face.
“I should have been there for her. I shouldn’t have left my homie there,” he said out loud.
“You are a teenager, Dexten. You are a tough boy, and thank God, you got that from my side of the family, but it wasn’t your place to protect your mother.
Had your father done right by y’all, this wouldn’t have happened.
It’s not your fault, so don’t go on in life thinking it is,” Silvia said as she gazed at her nephew.
“You might be right, but it’s going to be a while before I get over all this.
Everybody knows my Ma was my world. My dad was a fucked up nigga when it came to money, but I never wished death on him.
You are the only one that will ever know how I felt about them, Aunty.
I’ve been taking this situation with a grain of salt so I can stay focused, but I’m fucked up. ”
“You know I got your back, boy. If you ever need to talk, you know you can call me.” She smiled as she gently rubbed his back.
“Well, if you have my back, why won’t you take me back to New York with you? I miss home. I don’t want to be in California by myself.”
Silvia sighed. “I’m sorry, Dexten, it’s just too dangerous back home.
I think you need to stay here until you’re eighteen.
Let things die down in Harlem. I know the letter said they weren’t looking for you, but I don’t think I should take that risk.
I have your baby cousin at home, and I can’t put her through that.
I will keep in touch and send you an allowance as I promised.
Just stay with that Rhonda lady like you told me. ”
Dexz put his head down and stuck his hands in his pockets.
He wanted to flee to New York on his own, but he was only fifteen and couldn’t buy a plane ticket.
Silvia would only be sending him three hundred dollars every month, and she was only leaving him with a thousand dollars when she left, so he knew his grind wasn’t going to stop.
He knew it was either a group home or Rhonda’s, so he settled with Rhonda.
After they went to have a late lunch, Silvia drove back to Liza and Dexz’s home.
Dexz didn’t want to be inside while Silvia went through his mother’s things, so he walked on the side of the house like he always did to smoke.
Dexz had gone from only smoking weed to smoking cigarettes and drinking dark liquor.
When he was sober, he felt alone and misunderstood, so he stayed intoxicated to hide his pain.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Dexz,” he heard a small, soft voice say to him while he had his head down, puffing on his Newport.
When he looked up, it was Pretti. She was standing in front of him, fresh-faced, wearing a black bodysuit and a pair of classic white Adidas. Her hair was bone straight, and she wore big hoop earrings. Dexz really wanted to be alone, but the innocence in her face wouldn’t let him tell her to leave.
“Come here, Pretti. Let me talk to you for a minute.” He gestured for her to stand next to him.
Pretti walked over to him shyly. She had been looking out the window and waiting for him to come home from Liza’s funeral so she could see how he was doing.
Pretti knew everything that happened. She even heard the gunshots, so she figured he had to be devastated and needed some love.
They stood there silently until Dexz finished his cigarette.
He then lit his blunt and passed it to Pretti.
“How did you end up with Rhonda? Where are your parents?” he asked, catching her off guard.
Pretti sighed. She hadn’t thought about her parents in so long.
She always tried to block them out of her head because she hated them for being so selfish.
Even though she felt like she was doing okay, she thought life would be better with her parents around.
She was alone and left with many questions.
She still didn’t understand why they had left her, but she was done trying to figure it out.
“They left me for some cult when I was eight years old, and I’ve been in the system since then.
I’ve only been with Rhonda for two years now, but I tell people she is my mom.
I really hate telling my story, so I leave it at that with the public.
” She hit the blunt and let smoke flow through her nose like a pro.
“So, you know what it feels like to be alone…”
“Yes, I’ve known for a long time, but I try not to let it get to me.
I’ve lived a good life so far and avoided a lot of bad situations, so that’s why I always walk around smiling.
I’m not homeless, Rhonda doesn’t treat me that bad, and I make a little money doing hair.
That’s how I’m able to keep myself up. I won’t let loneliness take over my young life, and you shouldn’t either. ”
“I’ve never been alone before. I’ve always had my parents and friends in New York. I don’t have shit out here in Cali but a pocket full of dope sacks and some cigarettes. I can’t live like this, and I don’t know what I’m going to do.” He dropped his head.
Pretti could see he was heartbroken, so she reached over and laced her fingers through his. She didn’t want anybody close to her feeling alone, so she was going to be there for him.
“Well, you have me, Dexz, believe it or not. I want to be there for you, so if you ever feel like you have nobody, you have me.” She smiled.
Dexz looked down at her hand cuffed into his. Her hands were soft and freshly manicured. From what Pretti told him, she had a rough life but tried to glamour it up with what she had. Dexz didn’t see anything wrong with that because she was doing a good job.
Every time he laid eyes on her, she reminded him of an angel or a girl he would see in his dreams. She was soft-spoken and feminine like no female he’d ever met.
He was scared to get close to her intimately.
He felt like she was out of his league and too much for him while he was struggling on his own as a teenager.
She was a virgin, and he was into older women who could help him, but after talking to her, he wanted her close to his heart. Just not as his girlfriend.
“I’ve never had a heart-to-heart with a girl before. We can’t be together, but if you could be my best friend, I’d like that.” He shot her a sly grin.
Pretti smiled back. She had a huge crush on Dexz and wanted to be his girlfriend, but hearing he needed her as a best friend made her feel good.
“Of course, Dexz, I’ll be your best friend.”
“Pretti! Get your little fast ass in the house. He just lost his mama; he don’t want your little annoying ass back here messing with him. Go in the house and start dinner and take off that tight ass bodysuit; you ain’t grown!” Rhonda shouted from the side of the house.
“It’s okay, Rhonda. She’s cool. She’s my friend.” He stood up from the ground.
“Yeah, okay. Her little ass is a virgin, so stay away from her, Dexten. Y’all will be living in the same house, but you won’t be fucking. Better act like siblings. Because if I catch y’all having sex in my house, I’m beating both of y’all.”
Pretti stood to leave.
“I’ll see you later, Dexz.” She walked off, not looking at Dexz or Rhonda.
“Well, I guess I owe you something. Let’s walk to the back,” Dexz said, knowing what Rhonda really came on the side of the house for.
Dexz walked her to the back and gave her the twenty thousand in cash that his mother left for Rhonda. Dexz never thought he’d give her that much money, but he did. He had no choice.
“You can move in whenever you’re ready. I have a vacant room for you.” Rhonda walked out of the shed and headed home.
After that day, Dexz moved in with Rhonda.
Although he had a roof over his head, he fell back into the streets, selling drugs.
He made sure he went to school because Pretti was always on his back about graduating.
The two of them started spending all their time together and promised to help each other make it out of their situations.
He promised he would help her open a barbershop when they turned eighteen, and she would help him get through high school and college. Dexz didn’t want to sell dope forever, but he knew his drug slanging was going to pay off for him and Pretti in the future.