Chapter 35 #2
The doctor was laying it on her, leaving her feeling overwhelmed with thoughts. Her fiancé was down bad, but she didn’t know he was near death. Had she known, she would’ve never gone on vacation, but he also insisted that she live her life.
She sighed, blinking back tears. “I will talk to him about everything. I am the only family he has, but thanks for the advice.”
“You’re welcome… His room is two doors down, but we have to wheel him to the psych ward soon. He didn’t want to do anything until you got here.”
“Psych Ward?” she mumbled, confused.
“Yes, to rule out psychosis.” He walked off.
Pretti walked into his room and felt like she had been down the path she was taking before.
She made it to his bed and saw him sleeping, but he looked rough.
Tears finally stained her face when she got a really good look at him.
She ran her long acrylic nails through his growing hair that looked like he was growing short dreads at the top of his head.
He had been talking about growing his hair out for locs to replace his waves, so she couldn’t wait to twist and fade his hair when he was feeling better.
Dexz opened his eyes, feeling her hands in his hair.
“Baby, what happened?” she whimpered as they gazed at each other.
“I did a lot of fucked up shit while you were gone,” he uttered, low and raspy.
“What did you do?”
“I took a lot of lives, and I’m not sure how to feel about it. In my eyes, the people I took out deserved it. That nigga Diego took my parents away from me like I wasn’t shit. Like a nigga didn’t deserve to be happy. Then he tried to take me away from mine, so I took his kids.”
Pretti quieted him with a finger over his lips. “You’re saying too much in this hospital, babe, but why were you taking so many pills? Were you trying to take your own life?”
“I swear I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I just wanted the pain and bad thoughts to stop, but that only made it worse. My body started craving it, so I was taking more than I should to ease what I was feeling.”
“I want you to relax and forget about everything you just told me, okay?” she continued to try and hush him, but he kept rambling like he didn’t hear her, bringing darkness over Pretti. She had never heard him speak negatively.
“I don’t feel a connection to my kids or life anymore.
If I get too close to them, I know God will take them away from me.
They don’t need to be around me. I won’t judge you if you walk away from me with the kids.
I don’t deserve to be their father.” He gazed off into space. “I’m cursed,” he added last.
Pretti had never seen him so blank. “You’re not cursed, and you deserve to be a father to those babies at home waiting for you.
They love you, and I would never, ever, keep you away from them.
You’re going to heal and get back to your normal self.
I’m going to help you, even if I have to slow down on work.
But don’t ever feel like me and the babies don’t love you or want to be away from you. ”
“Lay with me. It feels like I ain’t held you in forever.”
Pretti slipped out of her shoes and bomber jacket. She climbed into bed with him and lay on his chest. Hearing his heartbeat soothed her as he played in her hair, like he always did.
“You ever miss being a teenager?” he asked softly.
“Sometimes, just to go back to do fun stuff and just be free again. That’s why I started taking the kids with me to travel early. I don’t want them to ever miss out on their childhood.”
“I don’t want to feel isolated to the streets and a slave to money anymore, and I don’t want to live in my head no more.
I appreciate you showing my kids the world and not letting what we’re going through affect them.
I’ma use this second chance to break free and become a better man for my Beauti, Ethan, and you. ”
Pretti looked up when she felt wetness fall on her forehead.
She looked up at Dexz. Tears were flooding down his face.
Dexz hadn’t cried since he was a baby. He didn’t cry at his mother’s funeral, and his pops didn’t even have a funeral for him to shed a tear at.
Through the pain and gunshots, he didn’t break down, but everything he had bottled up was pouring from his eyes.
“It’s okay to cry, Dexz. Let it all out. It’s probably what you needed.”
“I ain’t no weak nigga, and I don’t want nobody to see me like this.
I wanna marry you, but I don't want to go through a ceremony right now until I’m me again.
I hope this don’t hurt you because I know how hard you’ve been planning the wedding.
Don’t worry about pleasing me right now.
You’ve done everything you can for me. It’s time to focus on you.
” She wiped his tears, and then she kissed his lips, trying to make him feel loved again.
“I love you so much, Dexten, and you’re going to overcome this. Remember, I’m your best friend before anything, so I will never judge you.” She kissed him again.
“I appreciate you so much, ma. You always speak life into me.”
“And I’m never going to stop doing that.”
They fell asleep in each other’s arms, but an hour later, they were woken up so Dexz could be admitted to the psych ward for three days.
What he found out about his mental health he wasn’t prepared for.
He was definitely going through psychosis, and he realized that was what caused him to go out and murder.
However, he fought every day once he was released from the hospital to become a better person.