Chapter 23
Celeste
Gage squeezes my hand reassuringly as I check in for my surgery.
Who knew I’d end up at Princeton-Plainsboro hospital twice in the space of two weeks?
I pause as I pull out the insurance card to give to the receptionist. This little slip of plastic is the entire reason I’m able to get this surgery, and also why I now have a husband at my side.
Gage is transitioning to take over the bar, and I’m getting the endometriosis treatment I need to hopefully have much less pain.
The terms of our marriage agreement are fulfilled, and I don’t know how to feel about it.
Where do we go from here? We’ve agreed to be together, but are we staying married?
Are we divorcing and starting fresh? Is Gage having any second thoughts?
Am I? The poor receptionist clears her throat, and I hastily hand her the card that she’s been waiting for.
My spiraling thoughts can get pushed into a little compartment until I’ve come through the surgery.
“Are you a spouse or family?” The receptionist asks Gage.
“I’m her husband,” he says, and hearing him say it makes my heart do gymnastics.
“Please fill out your contact information in case of an emergency.”
As he’s filling it out, he leans toward me.
“You holding up ok?” Gage whispers near my ear.
I manage a weak smile at him.
“Just nervous, but I’ll be fine,” I say, and it’s not a lie. He simply doesn’t know how many things I’m nervous about.
We’re soon taken back for me to change into one of those lovely hospital gowns in order to get pre-surgery vitals and testing.
There’s a lot of waiting until the nurse comes back to give me the all clear.
Gage keeps me amused with stories in his low, rumbly voice, and calms me with soothing touches.
“For a man who never wanted to get married, you sure make the most incredible husband,” I whisper into his chest as he holds me.
“Only for you,” he whispers back.
Those three words are right there on my tongue, but they get stuck.
I’ve only ever uttered them to Tania, and the sheer weight of uttering them to Gage is keeping them firmly in place.
The anesthesiologist comes in then to collect me and take me down to the operating room.
Gage gives me a kiss and assures me he’ll see me when I’m in the recovery room.
Dr. Naraya greets me as I’m wheeled into the operating room. It’s freezing cold, everything cast in stark blues and whites from the harsh overhead lighting, and has that antiseptic smell to the point that my nose feels like it’s burning.
“We’re almost ready. The anesthesiologist is going to insert your IV now to get you to sleep, and the surgery should not take too long to remove the tissue,” she explains.
I nod, and soon I’m getting hooked up to go under. I’m glad this isn’t a surgery where I need to be awake, because there is no way I’d be ok if I had to be aware of what’s going on. The anesthesiologist instructs me to count backwards from ten, and then I’m out.
Awareness creeps in slowly as my eyelids flutter open. A warm hand squeezes mine, the thumb sweeping across my knuckles. I can smell Gage’s citrusy and woodsy scent before I see him. He’s here, just like he promised, and I relax a fraction.
“Hey, Casanova,” I croak.
“How do you feel, mi vida?”
I turn to look at him, and his face is filled with concern.
“I’m uncomfortable, but the pain isn’t bad,” I assure him.
“The doctor said you did great and she was able to get all of the tissue she found,” he informs me, and my breath hitches.
I’ve been in pain for almost four months, and this feels like a light at the end of the tunnel.
Dr. Naraya had said new tissue might crop up where it shouldn’t, but with different hormones and less stress, it will hopefully not be nearly as bad as it has been.
Gage and I murmur to each other quietly in the recovery room while I get my bearings.
He jokes about how he was pacing and could barely keep down the bagel and cream cheese he ate while I was in the operating room.
The surgery took just under two hours, and Dr. Naraya came out to talk to him as soon as she could.
“How long have I been out?” I ask.
“It’s been about half an hour since you were brought into the recovery room, so it didn’t take you too long to wake up.”
I nod and bring his hand that’s still holding mine to my face, nuzzling into it and kissing his palm.
“Thank you for being here,” I whisper.
“Always. I’m not going anywhere. We’ve always got each other’s backs, right?” He says it so decisively, like it’s a foregone conclusion, and it’s as if he knows that I need to hear it.
“Tania’s been blowing up my phone, I’ve been keeping her updated, too,” he adds.
“She’s mad I told her to not miss her last FedEx shift for this, but she’ll be around more now with being a full time tattoo artist after today,” I tell him with a sleepy smile.
Dr. Naraya comes in then to check on me with her usual easy manner.
“How are you feeling, Celeste?”
“Not bad, all things considered,” I tell her.
“You’ll definitely have some pain and discomfort for a few days. Like I mentioned before, you should be able to resume your normal activity levels in about two weeks. I’d like you to please take it easy until then, ok?”
“Yes, I will,” I assure her.
“We’ll have a follow up appointment at my office after those two weeks are up to see how you are. In the meantime, the nurse will be in soon with your discharge instructions and paperwork. I’ll look forward to seeing you soon. You did great today.”
She comes over and holds out her hand, and I clasp it gratefully, giving it a shake.
“Thank you so much, Dr. Naraya,”
She nods to me and Gage before briskly going on her way.
We wait about twenty minutes until a nurse comes in to discharge me.
He goes over my pain medicine options, caring for the small wounds, and before we know it we’re on our way home.
The birds raise holy hell when we go into the living room to check on them.
Hermes says my name a few times, as if he knows that something’s off with me.
“I’m ok, bud. Just a little sore,” I croon to him, scratching his head through the bars.
Gage gets me situated on the couch with a sparkling water before making sure the birds have their own fresh water, take baths in the bathroom sink, and have some playtime.
I grab my e-reader from the table and start reading the spicy monster romance I downloaded the other day.
It’s the perfect fun distraction while I recover.
Gage spends the rest of the day fussing over me and the birds, taking advantage of his day off to get things done around the house.
He and his dad have been working closely on making sure everything goes smoothly with transferring the deed, and the many other things they need to get done, like changing the bank account to having Gage as the primary name on it.
He could use some rest as well, so I tug him down to sit on the couch with me and nestle in against him.
His phone buzzes on the table, and he checks it.
“Oh, Wayne and Gina are thinking that we should all get a retirement party together for dad. They would be willing to host it once you’re feeling well enough.
“Absolutely. That man deserves a huge send off!”
“Maybe we can have it the day I do the pop-up at the farmer’s market. After it’s over, I can pack up everything to set up the same booth at Wayne and Gina’s that night. It’ll be like bringing the bar to them in a way,” he enthuses, clearly getting excited about the party.
“That’s a perfect idea,” I agree.
“Alright, I’ll let him know we’re in,” he says, thumbing out a reply before pulling me closer against him with a sweet smile.
His hand runs a soothing pattern up and down my arm, and my god I wish we could do more.
I wanted to tell myself that our first time having sex was so mind-blowing because of the novelty, and how much tension had been building up between us.
Recapturing that would be impossible. I’m not usually one to be happy about being wrong, but both Gage and his dick seem to have that effect on me.
Our sex life somehow keeps getting even better.
Last night he made me come three times since it would be the last time for a couple of weeks that we could do anything.
It’s not just the sex, by any stretch of the imagination.
Waking up with him and having our morning coffee together before we go about our busy days is something I cherish more than I could ever express.
Playing with the birds, and snuggling on the couch with Gage at night, has become the peace and stability in my life I’ve craved but never thought I’d find.
I’m afraid to bring up where we stand, and how we’re going to move forward, because it might break this beautiful thing we’ve built. For now, I’m just going to rest my head on my husband’s firm chest, watch a movie, and enjoy it.
I steal a glance up at him, and he looks down at me with so much affection. I can’t help how his eyes turn me to mush. Maybe I’m more loopy than I thought from the pain medicine.
“I could lose myself in your eyes,” I blurt.
My eyes want to look anywhere but at him after I let my mouth run like that, but I can feel his surprise.
He knows that verbalizing these things is new to me, but it makes me braver when I finally look back up at him, and those eyes are so completely soft. So I press on.
“It’s mesmerizing how they can be such a mischievous puppy brown, but then melt into a deep amber when you look at me like that. The way you look at me makes me feel like I’m someone special, and worth being around.”
He cups my face, and kisses me softly.
“You’re stealing my thunder with poetry about eyes,” he murmurs with a smile against my lips.
“Cece, let me do that,” Tania admonishes me, grabbing the dishes I am trying to bring to the sink after our dinner.