Chapter 31
Dominic helps me go from my bed to the small bathroom in my room, then back again. He makes notes on how I'm walking and my pain levels, giving me some exercises and staring blankly at me when I tell him I already know what I’m doing.
“Being a patient is different from being a physical therapist. Now, if you want to give me problems, I can always call Jayden in here. Drag him away from working with everyone else to give you a talking to… I can guarantee that’ll be less fun than doing some light bed exercises.
” His storm gray eyes bore into mine. With a long sigh, I start doing the stupid arm stretches and leg exercises.
When Dominic is satisfied with my progress, he makes a note in my chart, then leaves with a promise to be back for my evening exercises. Great, looking forward to it.
As soon as he’s gone, though, the boredom and loneliness closes in. I fucking hate being in the hospital. It’s boring as shit, and gives me too much time to think…about my choices and failures, my relationships within the Family, and how I’m going to get any of them to trust me again.
My mind spirals further when I think about how it’s been a few days since Lio’s visit.
Not having my best friend at my side…it feels as if a part of me is missing.
Maybe Tennant shouldn’t have held back… Death by my love’s hand would have been better than this slow demise of not having the other half of my soul.
Wrapping my arms around myself, I barely feel the twinge in my side as my wound protests. My breathing becomes faster and I lose my sight, even though I keep my eyes wide open.
How did this happen?
The room spins and I start to tip over, not even caring where I’ll land, and that's when strong hands grab me.
I can hear what sounds like words being spoken, but they’re distant, until the sharp crack of a hand slapping across my face echoes in the room.
Blinking, I stare into Tennant’s ice blue eyes, as the delayed sting of him striking me blooms across my cheek.
Tennant tsks and adjusts my glasses. “What am I going to do with you, Topolino?” he mutters.
“L—leave me, since I’m too much work.” The words taste like ash, but I wouldn’t blame him. Even if the blow would kill me—fuck, Hollis might literally kill me for hurting Tennant, but I’ll gladly walk into death if it means atoning for what I’ve done.
“I’m not walking away. If you think that’s who I am…”
“No! I don’t, but…I don’t understand why you stay. Not when you have Lio and Roman, who are far less work than I am. They’re not jealous, they don’t cause you pain.”
“Do I need to take you over my knee, Topolino? Do you need a Daddy, too?”
I flush. “Uhh, no… That’s Lio’s thing, not mine.”
“Then don’t be petulant. I’m here because I want to be. I won’t apologize for not being here more, because we have too much shit going on for that.”
“No, I know you’re busy; you all are. Lio is trying to get healthy again, and that’s important. I just…I feel so fucking useless! I’m stuck here because I put my own needs and wants ahead of my best friend—my Boss—and when I remembered him, I ended up setting myself back further.
“I just…I want to be with you, and I want to be with Lio. But what do I have to offer? I was a fucking terrible Second, who used the position to destroy everything good in my life. I can’t even do the job I was originally kidnapped for because I’m too fucking hurt!”
“Quiet,” he says harshly.
Taking a breath, I stop my tirade. Tennant studies me for a long moment, making me squirm under the intensity of his gaze.
He tilts his head, as if seeing me in a new and fascinating light.
Which only elevates my heart rate, as what if this is it?
What if whatever he sees shows how much better off he is without me? What if…
Tennant slaps me again. Not as hard this time, but it gets my attention.
“I will beat you black and blue if I have to, Topolino. You are mine. And that means you don’t have to worry about anything.
You want to be useful? Then get better. Listen to what Nico and Dr. Ranlen tell you, then get back to work.
“Lio and Roman both have a long way to go with their physical therapy. Emilio is still healing from his surgery, but when he’s ready, you will make sure you are too.
Roman getting kidnapped put a hindrance on the PT for his wrist, so it has been a slow and painful start for him.
You can be useful, but to do that, you have to get out of your own head and stop thinking about what you should or should not have done. ”
He looms over me, his face hovering over mine, making my heart pound, not in fear, but excitement. I love seeing him like this, when he’s passionate and ready to burn the world down.
“You can’t change the past, Benjamin. All you can do is move forward, which includes seeing a therapist. That is what we’ve been working on, in between tracking the Senator and making sure none of us get picked up by the fucking cops.”
“T—therapy? I don’t need—”
“Yes, you do. You should have seen one after Jax, but I understand why you wouldn’t.
It’s not…common in our lifestyle to ask for mental health help.
But Javi is hiring—or kidnapping—an entire fucking army of them.
He’s determined to make sure every single one of us has at least one session, to set up a baseline for if we need further help.
That includes you. Or would you like to tell Emilio that you are refusing to take care of yourself? ”
I cringe, and Tennant lounges back when he sees he’s made his point.
“You haven’t been forgotten, Benjamin. But it is not up to everyone else to reach out.
You have a fucking phone, so use it. Even if I’m elsewhere, I’m working to make it so we can be together, Topolino.
Text me. I’ll respond when I’m able. Text Lio.
Hell, text fucking Roman, I’m sure he’d love to have a friend.
You’re only alone if you want to be, okay? ”
Tears fall down my face and I nod. “I love you. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
He leans in and presses a kiss to my swollen and bruised cheek. “Never, Baby Mouse. I claimed you, and you’re not allowed to leave me so soon…not unless it’s my choice, and if that happens…” His lips twist in the parody of a smile. “Well, you won’t live long after that.”
My breath catches, and I can feel my face flush.
He studies me. “Mmm, you and Hol have similarities, I see. I can’t wait to further explore that when you’re given the all clear.”
Before I can respond, he swoops in and presses his lips to mine, instantly drawing blood when he bites hard on my lip. I moan as his tongue sweeps into my mouth, the coppery taste and scent of my own blood overwhelming my senses.
This…this is everything I needed. I know I still have a lot of work to do in order to make up with Lio…and Roman, but as long as I have Tennant, it doesn’t feel so lonely or impossible.