Chapter 46
With both Tennant and Javi occupied by other things, I manage to carve out a break in my schedule to visit the one person I shouldn't have to.
After a quick rap of my knuckles on the door, I push it open. Nico and Benjamin both look over as I enter.
Nico rolls his eyes. “No, go ahead and come in. We're not busy in here or anything.”
“You can come back later; this is important.”
The trip mutters something to himself in Russian, but with a promise to return later, he leaves Benjamin and me to our own devices.
Benjamin sits back in his hospital bed, crossing his arms carefully. “What's going on?”
“We need to talk, Topolino.”
He at least has the decency to flinch as I cross the room and take a seat next to the bed.
For a long moment, we just stare at each other, until he starts to fidget. “What did you want to talk about?”
“Do I really have to spell it out? Playing dumb isn't going to get you out of this mess.”
He scowls. “I'm trying, okay. But it's…fuck, it's hard seeing the person you thought you'd be with forever with someone else. Even harder when your love, the person who is the very air you breathe, is with others as well. I…I grew up very differently from the rest of you. I may have acclimated to the Martelli way, but that was very different than having all these relationships with feelings.”
“I understand that, I do, and I feel for you, Benjamin. But you are in no position to be upset about the choices you made. You knew from the beginning that Tennant was not a monogamous person. He never has been, and he’s never hidden that.
You chose to not only fuck him, but have a relationship with him.
Did you expect him to fall so far in love with you that he would leave the rest of us behind?
” I tilt my head, enjoying the defiance in his eyes, and the way he flushes at my question.
“No. I…no. I don't know what I thought would happen, but give me a fucking break! I am only human, and am allowed to struggle with something that's out of my depth.”
Leaning forward, I gaze at him intently, choosing my words carefully so he can't misinterpret anything.
“I understand my mistake,” I tell him softly. “I was too lenient. Gave you too much freedom, because you simply happened to understand the way Tennant works. I'm going to rectify that now.”
He sits up. “You don't get to dictate how our relationship goes!”
I don't fight my instincts. The crack of my hand on his cheek echoes loudly around the room. The sting of hitting him is satisfying as redness blooms across his face.
“Do not think you can disrespect me and get away with it. Tennant is mine. He always has been and always will be. He loves you, and that is the only fucking reason you are alive right now.
“He came to me and said he saw something in you that piqued his interest. He doesn't take without permission. He knows how much that means to me. He also knows how jealous and insecure you are.”
Benjamin has the decency to flinch as he fixes his glasses. If he has something to say, he wisely keeps his mouth shut.
“You are important to two of the men I love, and I am not ignorant of that.
If you want to continue breathing, to continue being part of this family, you will work on your shit.
Or do you want to be like Cristian? Like Sandro was?
Nothing but a ghost hovering on the outskirts of everything.
I can make that possible; you've pissed off too many people in this family.”
Benjamin curls around himself, the vulnerability taking away all his bravado. I see the little lost mouse Ignacio must have seen. The wounded soul Tennant has been trying to build up into a better version of himself.
Some part of me feels pity, knowing all the things Benjamin has lost over the recent months. The rest of me wants to string him up and cut him to shreds.
“I gave you too much freedom,” I tell him.
“I won't take Tennant away—you have an innate sense of what he needs. Well, except when you only care about yourself.” I make a point to drop my gaze to his side.
“You can handle Ten. Not just love him, but get through to him in a way only those he considers ‘his’ are able to.
That is the only reason you are still alive.
But this is the only grace I'm giving you.
“I’ve allowed you to distance yourself from the inner workings of us, unless it was your choice.
I’m half tempted to force you to spend time with us.
Dinner, bedtime, whatever time and space we carve out for ourselves…
I should make you follow Tennant on the nights I want him with me.
I won’t make it an order because you are not my submissive, and I am not cruel.
“However, I want you to put more of an effort in. Not just for Ten, not just for Emilio—who can feel your absence, so use your fucking phone and text him if you don’t want to see him.
You will make an effort, and give us the grace we’ve all been willing to give you this entire time.
If I believe you’re not putting in enough effort…
but rather keeping Tennant to yourself, I will be forced to believe you’re trying to take him away.
So figure your shit out. Or risk losing more than just your life. ”
Benjamin’s chest rises and falls as he takes quick breaths, and he looks as if he doesn't know what to say or do.
Good. This is his one and only chance to prove he actually wants to be part of our lives.
He doesn't understand how our relationship works, but he will learn to respect it. One way or another.
“Get some rest. We need you healthy again. This running between hospital rooms is bullshit.”
With that, I stand and leave him to his thoughts. It's a gamble, as he could decide Tennant isn't worth it. But if he loves Ten like I think he does, he won't let anything stand in his way.
Or he'll die. Either way is fine with me at this point.
Fuck, I hope I don't have to break Tennant’s heart.