Chapter 54
Itighten my grip, squeezing my interlaced hands together so hard my knuckles turn white.
I’m still not used to not being in a limo.
The SUV is…nice, but it feels odd. Yet another thing to get used to now.
Nothing is the same, not even close. How am I supposed to face reality when I constantly feel as if it’s breaking all around me?
Just when I think I’m going to fall apart, the SUV slows.
My hands shake. Black spots start to form in my vision, but before I lose it completely, Tennant is there.
He reaches over and grips my chin—hard. He forces me to look at him, and the blackness eating my vision recedes as I meet his icy gaze. It cools the fear chasing me.
“You will get through this. I’ll be right beside you. And afterward, we’ll…talk.”
“Talk?” I snort at the thought. “About what?”
“About what comes next. What you want out of life, and what needs to happen to get it.”
I swallow, my breathing shallow, and finally whisper one of the scariest truths ever, “I…I’m not sure I even know anymore.”
“That’s fine. I’ll help you. After all, that’s what a Daddy is for.”
My heart skips a beat, and all thoughts flee. Fuck. Trying to muster a cocky smile, which I know doesn’t work for shit, I huskily say, “That’s usually my line.”
With a growl that makes me shudder, he retorts, “And now it’s mine. Let’s make this clear. You may be Lio’s Papa Bear, but I’m Daddy. Do you understand me, Piccolo?”
As he caresses my bottom lip with his thumb, all the doubt I’ve been holding onto suddenly dissipates.
It’s like being caught from a free fall, the sudden steadiness.
Fuck. I understand my Boy even more now.
I can’t find the words, as my tongue is too interested in darting out to taste his salty skin.
From the way his eyes darken, I’m not the only one affected.
“Enough, Piccolo. It’s time. We’re going to march in there and get our retribution. And then? Then we’ll deal with the rest.”
It’s a silky dark promise. One I’d never entertain in the past, but fuck if it isn’t seductive as hell.
Maybe…Maybe this is what Javi was talking about.
Trying new things. Finding myself. Finding my new center.
It’s a fucked up reality, or maybe what I used to live was the fucked up reality.
I guess, until I walk in there, I won’t know.
Until I take what he’s offering. Retribution.
Steadiness. And…there’s something else. Something deeper.
Something that I can’t put into words. At least, not yet.
There’s limits to courage when the world has burned around me.
But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try.
Sliding out of the SUV, I roll my shoulders back, letting the need to avenge my friend flow through me as I follow Tennant inside his warehouse of horrors.
It's a fitting name based on what I see as I glance around. Better yet is the way he seemingly sheds his layers with each step. The thin veneer of normality is left at the door, and it’s more fascinating than I ever thought was possible.
I can see why Emilio is drawn to him, especially the way my love blossoms when torturing someone.
Both guilty men are strung up, hanging from the ceiling, although they're tied with rope instead of manacles. A little disappointing. I always prefer the sharp edge of steel over rope, but I'm sure the roughness biting into their skin adds a delicious amount of pain.
I tug on the blazer of the suit I’m wearing. It’s odd to suddenly be wearing clothes that no longer feel like they fit. It’s like stepping into a persona that’s too tight.
Seeing the way Tennant embraces his true self makes me desperately want that level of confidence. To be able to strip away outside expectations and embrace who I truly am… If only I had a clue who that was.
Swallowing, I unbutton the blazer and shrug it off, tossing it over a chair to the side.
I can’t find it in me to have it on the dirty ground, but…
I want the freedom of letting go of who I used to be, and that starts here.
It’s so simple, yet it feels like so much more than merely taking an article of clothing off.
Tennant quirks an eyebrow, but doesn’t say anything. My face flushes, but I bring my attention back to the two men in front of me, asking, “So, who are these assholes who stole my Jenna’s life?”
Their faces, already pale, turn almost a sickly grey with how I emphasized the word “my”.
But they need to know, they didn’t just fuck up by taking away a Martelli lawyer.
Oh no. Jenna was as close to a friend as I allowed.
And this? This is their reckoning. I’d say have mercy on their souls, but fuck that.
“Low level thugs. Their lives were meaningless before this. And now…” Tennant trails off, giving a chilling smile that’s all teeth.
“And now their existence will be permanently deleted,” I finish for him.
Moving in concert, he hands me a knife. I take a moment to study it, to get a feel of it.
The balance is perfect, and I nod in satisfaction before stepping closer to the one on the right.
“But first, I feel the need to have some fun.”
“Enjoy, Piccolo.” Tennant chuckles as he lowers the one on the right, so he can at least find some balance on the tips of his toes.
Grinning, I step forward, thankful they’re properly tied up. However, I know it’s going to get messy like this. Clucking my tongue, I command, “Try not to wiggle too much.”
“Wh-wh-why?” the man stutters out.
I place the edge of the knife on his skin, choosing to start right below the elbow, and meet the man’s eyes for a fraction of a second before resuming my concentration. “Quiet. Skinning is a delicate process.”
The man starts to thrash as he screams, fucking up my work. Before I can change plans, Tennant is there, holding the man steady in a very uncomfortable-looking bear hug from behind. I murmur my thanks as I continue, taking skin from his forearm.
It’s a gruesome, but beautiful, process. After all, how many people are lucky enough to see the inside of a human body? Plus, it’s always good to sharpen a skill. Luca may be the best of the Boys at it, but I’m the one who taught him, and it would be bad if I let myself become rusty.
The man’s screams are background music, steadying me and providing the perfect level of concentration.
I know when I hit a little too deep, get a little too rough.
Overall, though, by the time I’m finished, I can safely say I’m still ranked among the top for it.
I certainly don’t need to use a tool like Ignacio prefers.
I didn’t even notice when the man’s voice went silent, likely because the other criminal is providing a backdrop to the fun. Sadly, the man in Tennant’s arms has become unresponsive. He must have passed out. Weak.
Shaking my head, I meet Tennant’s avidly curious eyes. “Pitiful, isn’t it? To drop off just from that.”
I’ve seen versions of Tennant’s smile, but all have seemed relatively manufactured, except for the soft one he sends Emilio occasionally.
Usually, his expression is serious and very much a “fuck around and find out” dare.
This time, I see a smile of pure joy on him.
It’s like the smile of a child on Christmas day when they still believe in the magic of Santa.
I snort at the thought, knowing it’s Emilio rubbing off on me.
Holidays were never very celebrated in our household, the closest was with my aunt and uncle.
Emilio… Hell, him and Benjamin have us sending out fucking Christmas cards.
I almost chuckle at what Tennant will be facing this year when he finds out about their quest to turn everything into a Christmas wonderland, complete with making sure Christmas cards are sent out all over the world.
Tennant clears his throat and I meet his curious gaze sheepishly. I mutter a quick, “Sorry. My mind wandered.”
“It’s fine. Are you finished with this one?” Tennant asks, boredom seeping into his voice.
With a sad sigh, I nod and quickly slit the man’s throat. It’s pointless to try and bring him back and draw it out. Unsatisfying. Like taking a bite of what looks like a chocolate chip cookie, only to find out it’s raisins instead.
Turning to the next guy, I ask, “Are you at least going to be more interesting than your friend?”
The man stares at me in horror before peeing his pants.
I jump back. Even though his dick is covered, I don’t want to be standing in a puddle.
Thank fuck it doesn’t look like he had much in him, as his clothes seem to absorb the majority of it, with only a little eventually dripping onto the floor.
Shuddering, I meet Tennant’s horrified gaze.
“I have limits,” I state flatly.
Tennant makes a disgusted noise, but I just can’t work up the pleasure of drawing out torturing the man after that.
Instead, I step forward warily as Tennant grips him from behind, and quickly disembowel the man.
It’s messy, but fitting. It also makes me remember what Cristian did to Ignacio, and my breathing speeds up as panic rushes through me.
Flashbacks of everything I’ve done wrong start to pour into my mind, robbing me of the sanity I thought I’d found.
My stomach churns at the memories. From the way Cristian and I first bonded, to waking up and finding the letter from my strong Emilio.
Thinking I gained a new love, only to realize I lost my soulmate in search of lies.
My breathing escalates and my vision starts to darken.
Coldness seeps into me again, that fucking numbness robbing me of the pleasure I was finally experiencing.