Chapter 39
ANDREA
Charlie and the babies spent almost three weeks at the hospital because the boys needed extra attention. They were taken off feeding tubes and introduced to bottles after twelve days in the specialized care unit. They joined Charlie in her room on the fourteenth day because they were able to maintain their body temperature without help.
Being able to watch every step of their growth has been really amazing, and, damn it, I need to stop thinking of them as the babies. They’re Niles and Noah. Yep, Charlie and Ezra went the route of alliteration names. Classic twin move, but I love it. It’s almost as adorable as the boys with their black hair and blue eyes that have only lightened with the passage of time. I’m convinced that their eyes will eventually settle into the same crystal blue as Ezra’s.
Despite how much I try to occupy myself with all things related to Charlie and the boys–I’ve practically moved in with Ezra and Charlie at this point–I can’t deny the chasm in my heart that just keeps getting wider with every passing day. I miss Hudson. How could he not have reached out to me, even once? Doesn’t he even miss me too?
“What are you thinking about so seriously, Andie?” Ezra’s question jolts me out of my musings. I glance at him in surprise. When did he get here?
Charlie jabs her elbow into his ribs, and he lets out a little oomph. “Isn’t it obvious? She misses Massimo. They even had to postpone their wedding.” She casts me a sympathetic glance.
“I don’t see that bastard knocking on our door, begging to see her,” Ezra argues. “This is a good thing. Maybe some time away from him will make her realize what a mistake she’ll be making by marrying him and ugh!” He groans when Charlie jabs him again.
“She said they talk on the phone,” she states.
That’s right. I made up excuse after excuse over the past weeks for why Hudson couldn’t be here, despite how much he wants to. I give them his regards every morning like we talk on the phone every night. Pathetic.
I tell myself it’s to protect Ezra. If I don’t keep up our “in love” ruse and go ahead and get married, it will raise a lot of suspicion from my family. A pathetic excuse. He’s obviously done with me. Why else wouldn’t he have gotten in touch? After fucking me for a few weeks, he got bored, saw his chance to get out, and took it. I should be happy. I’m free, but I feel like shit. Brokenhearted, lonely shit.
“Yes, well…” Whatever Ezra was about to say is interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up outside. I quickly jump out of my chair.
“That must be Mom with the supplies. I’ll go help her. You two, stay here.” I don’t wait for them to argue before scurrying out. All that talk about Hudson is only making me sadder. I inhale deeply, blinking rapidly as I approach the front door.
Sure enough, Mom’s sedan is parked in the driveway; she’s getting out of it just as I walk outside.
Mom’s bright smile slowly dims when she sees me. “Andrea? What’s wrong?”
“What? What do you mean? There’s nothing wrong, I’m fine. I’m fine,” I repeat when she gives me a disbelieving look.
“No, you’re not. Honey, what is going on? Does this have anything to do with Massimo’s absence? Are you two having a fight? It’s normal, believe me, when your father and I were…. ”
I sniff deeply and try to hold it in, but the tears spill down my cheeks, anyway, making Mom trail off, her lips parting in surprise. “Andrea.”
“Oh, Mom.” I tuck my face into her neck and cry quietly. “I’m in such a mess.”
I try to pull myself together, but it only gets worse with Mom’s soothing words of comfort. “It’s not g–going to be okay, Mom. What if he doesn’t want me anymore?”
“Nonsense,” she says, running her hand through my hair. “That boy is completely smitten. I give him until this weekend. See if he doesn’t find a way to get out of those infernal meetings for you.”
I stiffen, reminded that Mom isn’t privy to the details of our relationship. In fact, no one I know is, so I’ve had no one to talk to about my mess of feelings. And is it even fair? Some of Hudson’s men knew the true nature of our relationship, so he has people to talk to, that is, if he even talks to them. At least he has the option.
I shift back to my mother and look her dead in those blue eyes we all inherited. “I lied,” I confess. As soon as the words leave my lips, I feel much lighter. And as Mom frowns, more words escape my lips and before I know it I’ve told her everything. Everything. From Hudson kidnapping me to threatening me with Ezra. And our relationship blossoming into more, at least on my part.
When I’m done, I inhale sharply and watch as she tries to make her expression blank, but she isn’t good at that. She’s always worn her feelings on her face. “Mom…? Why’s your face doing that?” I ask lightly, but my heart’s beating furiously. Fuck, I should have just kept it all bottled in.
She’s going to tell Dad, who will no doubt tell Alex and Ezra, and then it’s over. The whole family will die defending my honor, and, oh God, what have I done. She laughs. I kid you not, she bends over and starts laughing. I’m talking belly deep laughter. I frown, wondering what part of my story she finds funny?
The front door swings open. “What’s taking so long?” Ezra asks, peeping through the open door with one of the twins curled against his shoulder. Mom’s laughter slowly dies, and Ezra gives me a puzzled glance. I shrug in response.
“Go back inside with my grandson, Ezra. Your sister and I will come in when we’re done with our conversation.”
My brother glances between us curiously. “Can’t have this conversation inside?”
“No, honey. Now, shoo.” Mom waves him off, and he goes back inside with a grumble.
“Now, where were we?” Mom asks, giving me her full attention. “Oh right, you and Massimo. When you called your father and me, I knew something was fishy. You’re so headstrong, even more so than your brothers, but I knew you wouldn’t just go on a merry vacation without so much as checking in with your father and me…and then falling in love? But when we came to the city, I relaxed because I could see the love between you two.”
“It was acting,” I mutter.
“Now, honey. How much of it was acting, really? You think a man like Massimo Moratti needs to convince anyone that his marriage is a love match?”
“His men were–”
“Please tell me you’re not that naive. Do you know how rare a love match is in the mafia? Every match is well researched and meticulously chosen with love as the last consideration.”
“But–”
“No buts, Andrea. A don like him would avoid a love match or the appearance of one like the plague because the most dangerous thing a man embroiled in crime can do is fall in love and gain a weak spot. And he asked you to pretend to be in love with him while also pretending to be in love with you?”
I pause as her words sink in. They make sense on their own, but when I add them up with the information I now have, the math isn’t math-ing. Hudson asked me to pretend to be his loving fiancée. That is a fact, but if people think he cares about me, they could try to use me against him. Why would he do that?
“You still don’t get it? Let me break it down for you, honey. He saw you. He liked you. He probably didn’t know what to do with that emotion, so he kidnapped you. Then he found a plausible excuse to get you to marry him.” She nods at the ring on my finger. “He probably devised a plan to make you fall in love with him too.”
My jaw drops as Mom finishes talking, “No. No way. Hudson wouldn’t do that.”
But he would. My fierce, emotionally stunted mess of a man. What was it he said that day? Yes, I made him feel things. My heart starts a hard and fast rhythm as a light bulb goes off in my head. He loves me.
“Do you get it now?” Mom smiles softly. “I don’t condone how he went about courting you, and I’ll give him an earful the next time I see him, but it”s done. He saw what he wanted, and he went after it.”
Oh, did he go after me…ruthlessly. “B-but why hasn’t he reached out since I got here? A call or even a text message?”
Mom shrugs as she walks to the back of her car and pops the hatch open. “Who knows what goes on in men’s heads.” There are stacks of grocery bags that remind me that I initially came outside to help her with them.
As we go inside, bags stacked in both hands, I come to a decision: I’m going back to Rhode Island. Tomorrow.