Chapter 7 #3
Jane obeyed without protest. Then, Lavinia glanced sideways. “There is still something you have not told me.”
Jane bit her lip. “Well… perhaps there is.”
“Jane, my dear, you can tell me anything. What’s the matter?”
“Well… I…” she looked around, ensuring there was no one within earshot before leaning in and whispering. “The duke and I… We kissed.”
Lavinia’s eyes widened. Then a massive grin spread over her face. “And you waited this long to tell me?”
Jane stared at the pond. “It was foolish. A mistake. It happened after…” She hesitated. “After those men attacked us.”
She could still remember every detail. The alley. The cool stone wall against her back. The warmth of his body. The roughness of his voice. The impossible gentleness with which he’d touched her immediately afterward, as though afraid he’d frightened her.
She had replayed those moments countless times over the past week. Far more often than she cared to admit.
“Well? Did you kiss him back?”
Jane closed her eyes. “…Yes.”
Lavinia smiled. “I thought so.”
Jane rubbed at her forehead. “It should not have happened.”
“You seemed rather wistful while describing it.”
“I am not wistful.”
“You sighed.”
“I did not,” Jane said.
Lavinia laughed. “You absolutely sighed.”
Jane groaned again. “The duke apologized. He stepped away immediately.” Jane’s fingers tightened together. “He said he should not have kissed me.”
“And what did you say?”
“I agreed.”
Lavinia asked. “Did you believe that?”
Jane hesitated. “I… It cannot happen again,” she said firmly.
“Why?”
“Because it changes nothing. Clearly, the duke is focused only on locating his own brother. Besides, he’s never expressed an interest in finding a wife.”
Lavinia watched her carefully. “Until now,” she smirked.
“Lavinia… the duke is only helping me find Colin. When Colin is found, our arrangement ends.”
Lavinia remained unconvinced. “And then?”
Jane looked away. “He returns to his life.”
“And you?”
“I return to mine.”
Lavinia frowned. “You truly believe that?”
Jane frowned in return. “Of course.”
“He does not strike me as a man who kisses women without intention. Not to mention I’ve noticed the way he looked at you.”
Jane’s stomach tightened.
Jane sighed. “He does not… He is not fond of me, Lavinia. He barely tolerates me.”
“And yet he keeps finding reasons to spend time with you.”
Jane nodded. “Because of our brothers.”
Lavinia leaned closer. “Jane.”
“What?”
“I think you’re trying very hard to convince yourself.”
Jane looked away. “I am simply being sensible.”
Lavinia reached over and squeezed her hand. “You are frightened that if you allow yourself to hope, he will disappoint you.”
The words struck far closer than Jane wished. She looked down at their joined hands. “He does not wish to marry me.”
Lavinia blinked. “Has he said so, explicitly?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know?”
Jane hesitated. “Because…”
She stopped. Because he was a duke. Because she was the disgraced sister of a missing earl. Because he had every reason to keep his distance. Because men like him married for dynasties. Not scandal.
She remembered his hand at the small of her back. The concern in his eyes after the attack. The patience with which he’d taught her. The careful way he’d watched until she safely entered Wynten House. The carriage never leaving before she disappeared inside.
“He has never once failed to keep me safe.” Her words were barely louder than a whisper.
Lavinia squeezed her hand again. “There he is.”
Jane blinked. “What?”
“The man you have been describing without realizing it.”
Jane looked confused.
“I have listened to you insisting you feel nothing for the duke.” Lavinia smiled. “And yet every memory you’ve shared has been about how carefully he treats you.”
Jane fell silent.
“I do not think kisses happen by accident as often as you would like to believe,” Lavinia said.
Jane stared across the pond. “The kiss was a mistake.”
Lavinia smiled gently. “If that is what you need to believe.”
“It is. The duke will return to his life once our brothers are found, and we’ll both forget about that kiss.”
“Will you now?” Lavinia arched an eyebrow.
Jane opened her mouth. Nothing came out.
Instead, the memory returned with startling clarity. His hand cupping her cheek. The warmth of his mouth. The way her pulse had raced. The look in his eyes afterward. The apology that had sounded suspiciously like regret. Not regret for kissing her. Regret for stopping.
Jane forced herself back to the present. “Yes,” she said, though the word sounded far less convincing than she intended.
Lavinia said nothing. She merely smiled the sort of knowing smile that only an oldest friend could manage.
Jane looked away before she could see it any longer. Because despite every logical argument she had made, despite every sensible reason she had listed, despite her certainty that everything between herself and the duke would end the moment Colin and Evan were found…
She had not stopped thinking about that kiss.
Not once.
And somehow, that frightened her far more than anything else.