Chapter 9
Chapter
Nine
Afrustrated scream erupted out of Riona’s tauntingly kissable lips, and Aiden fought hard to keep a straight face. She’d gotten the dancing part down almost immediately, but the other aspects of his teaching not so much. She especially had a hard time using her gift outside of singing. Aiden had hoped that she could learn how to infuse her magic into her voice outside of music, but so far, their attempts had been unsuccessful except for one.
“No more!” She slumped down on the couch, and Ava hopped onto her lap. The cait’s wings tucked up as she settled. Riona stroked Ava’s head absently. The cait began to purr. Lucky cait. Aiden would love to trade places with the winged feline.
Instead, he had to settle for sitting across from the pair. He eased down into the plush chair. Riona regarded him like he was an enemy. Her green eyes narrowed into slits.
“No more,” she repeated much less forcefully and more wearily.
“You need a break from training. We’ve been lax in discussing court etiquette. Let’s pick that back up. We still have a lot of ground to cover there.”
“Based on what you’ve been teaching me about the Unseelie Court, I’m not sure I want to go to such a dangerous place no matter how much I’ll learn about my mother.”
“And miss the experience of a lifetime?”
“I can’t master my magic, and all the information you’ve given me about court flows out of my mind like water. Maybe we should admit that I’m a failure, and I should just go home. You’re not going to hold me to that promise, are you? You haven’t asked me for a single song.”
“You’re not a failure. Please don’t say that about yourself.”
Riona snorted in response.
“I see a beautiful, competent woman who has had a lot of new things thrown at her at once and is doing admirably. You’re not perfectly mastering your magic, but you know what? Neither did I. You should have seen my first attempt at shifting.” Aiden made a face of disgust, and Riona let out a giggle at his expression.
Once the laughter died, Riona sighed. “I just don’t know if I’m meant for this.”
“You are,” Aiden said confidently. He had no doubts she belonged among the Fae and not the humans. The thought of losing Riona and her returning to Loch-Gaar wasn’t something he wanted to consider, especially if it meant she would return homeless to live among hateful people in their depressing village. Over the past few weeks, they’d grown closer. He enjoyed her company more than he cared to admit. Her laughter. Her smile. Her sharp wit. Her gorgeous flame-red hair, which Aiden fantasized about, spread across his bed. Aiden stopped himself before he let his thoughts travel too far in that direction.
“Riona, I want you to be prepared. The Unseelie Court is a place that your wildest imagination can’t conjure and as dangerous as it is beautiful.” Riona frowned at his description, and Aiden continued, “I’ll be by your side, and if you wish to leave at any time, we will. Immediately.” She relaxed and gave him a soft smile.
“I can do this. For my mother.” He didn’t miss the yearning in her voice and the sadness in her eyes when Finella was mentioned. “So when are we going to this dangerous, wonderful place?”
“How about tomorrow night? The moon will be full again, and a revel on the night of the full moon will be a wonderful time to go.”
“Tomorrow is a full moon?” Riona’s eyes widened, and she sat up. Ava grumbled and fluttered away from her lap, settling on the window seat a small distance away. “I can’t believe I’ve been here for so long.”
“Time flies when you’re having a good time. Perhaps you’ve come to enjoy my company?” Aiden smiled at her, letting some of the heat he’d been feeling seep into his gaze. He shouldn’t be playing this game, but he couldn’t stop himself. He wanted Riona. Badly. It ate away at him every night, knowing she was just down the hallway.
She didn’t blush or look away. Her jade eyes glinted at him, and a mischievous smile flitted across her lips. She leaned forward, and Aiden couldn’t help when his own body tilted toward hers. Her warm breath fanned his face. If he leaned just a small bit closer, their lips would be touching.
“You haven’t been too terrible.” Her voice had taken on a sultry tone. They sat there together, inches apart; neither wanted to draw closer, but neither wanted to pull away. This was a dangerous dance. He could lean in and capture those petal soft lips... Instead, he shook himself and sat up, putting distance between them. Riona’s expression clouded with disappointment, and Aiden cursed himself for being a fool.
“How about we take a break and get out of this house?” He liked the way her eyes lit up with pleasure at the prospect. She deserved so much more, but he wasn’t the one who was going to give it to her. He couldn’t. But he could give her a small thing.
“Leave? Aren’t you afraid I’m going to escape to my village?” Riona’s eyebrows rose in mock challenge.
“I won’t stop you if you want to go.” Riona shot him a skeptical glance, and Aiden tried to look innocent. He wasn’t beneath bribery to get her to stay. Then her face fell, and so did Aiden’s heart when she looked so sad all of a sudden.
“I don’t think I have anywhere else to go anymore. The new blacksmith has probably moved in, and…” She trailed off. Riona looked down, unwilling to meet his eyes.
“And?” Aiden asked. A lump formed in his throat. He found himself waiting for her to finish the sentence, hopefully adding something about how much she liked it here.
“I do want to go to the Unseelie Court. I have so many questions. But I worry for my safety and my sanity if I go.”
“You will get answers, and you have nothing to fear.”
“You seem so confident.”
Aiden shrugged. She would get answers to any questions she had if he had to pull it out of the courtiers bit by bit himself. He smiled a little at the thought. Some of the Unseelie had grown lax around him lately, so a change might be beneficial for all.
“What are you smiling at?”
“My plans,” Aiden hedged. He was getting a little too protective of Riona. He stood up and held out his hand to Riona. She rose eagerly and followed him. Her small hand was dwarfed by his larger one. Holding hands with her seemed so natural. Their movements disrupted Ava, who looked up grumpily and then went back to sleep with a happy coo when she noticed their hands.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see,” he said, opening the front door for her. Darkness sprawled out in front of them. The trees outlined a pattern against the inky night sky. Just outside of the doors, the world beckoned to be explored, and Aiden knew just where he wanted to take her.
His body rippled and shifted. Riona gasped in surprise, but she didn’t move away from him. She stood staring at him.
“When you change, it reminds me how different we are from each other.” Riona’s voice shook a little. Her hands trembled.
“We truly are not that different. You just haven’t learned who you are yet. Now hop on, or would you rather walk?”
Riona hesitated and then threaded her fingers through his mane and vaulted onto his back. Once she got her seat, he sprang into the air. They flew through the night sky, and the higher they got, the deeper Riona buried her hands into his hair.
Finally, she broke the silence. “Do you have to change into a stallion to be able to fly?”
“No. I can fly in any form.”
“I’ve only seen you fly in this form,” she said.
“Habit. In the Seelie Court, where I grew up, pookas are used as mounts for the nobility. We were expected to be docile servants to our betters. I was trained at an early age to change into this form because I was always carrying someone when I flew. It is frowned upon in the Seelie Court for pookas to fly freely without a rider. Too Unseelie.”
“That is so sad. If I could fly, I would fly everywhere, and if I could shift forms, I would be a different thing each minute of the day. It’s no surprise you left. But you must like this form if you keep using it?”
Aiden thought about what Riona said for a second. He hadn’t really considered why he flew as a stallion, but the truth was that it was just a habit he’d never given much thought to. Using this form to fly was something so ingrained into him at such an early age that even when he’d left the Seelie Court, the thought of change hadn’t occurred to him until Riona pointed it out. The possibilities were endless as to what he could do, but he knew what he wanted. His body melted into its true form. Riona let out a small gasp, but he twisted the front of his body to face her, and she was secure in his arms. Her body was pressed against his.
“I think I like being a man better than a horse when I’m carrying a beautiful woman with me.” His eyes met Riona’s, and heat flared between them.
“I think I might too.” She tucked her head under his chin, and they flew through the night air in companionable silence.
Aiden was so focused on the woman in his arms, he almost passed the familiar outlook. When he touched down on the rocky range, he didn’t want to let go of Riona, but he reluctantly placed her on her feet. She slid away from him as if she were in a trance. Her eyes were riveted to the view, and Aiden didn’t blame her one bit.
From their vantage point on the high mountain peak, the stars twinkled and glittered so brightly that Aiden could clearly see the wonder on Riona’s face. The small peak couldn’t have been wider than a few steps in each direction, and the drop was so steep that they were only surrounded by the night sky. The stars appeared so close here that they gave the illusion that Aiden could stretch out a hand and touch them.
Aiden looked down at Riona and saw tears falling freely down her face.
“It’s so beautiful,” she whispered.
“Then why are you crying?” Aiden asked, and he brushed one of her tears gently with his thumb.
“I feel like we’re the only two people in the world.”
“Why does that sadden you?” The thought of having Riona all to himself made him happier than he cared to admit.
“There is a loneliness to the night sky. Do you know what I’m talking about? When I look up at the vastness, I feel so small and alone.” Riona turned to him, and at that moment, Aiden would have done anything to take away the sadness in her eyes. He didn’t even realize what he was saying until it was too late to stop the flow of words.
“Pookas believe that when we die, our essence returns to the sky since we are creatures of air. When I look up at the stars, I think about Allana and hope that there is some truth to our lore. I like to think she’s up there watching over me.” Like I didn’t do for her on this earth. Aiden stared up into the vast sparkling darkness. He could feel Riona’s eyes on him but didn’t look away from the stars.
“Your sister.” Riona’s statement surprised him, but he couldn’t look at her. Not yet. He was still too emotional, and he’d already shared more than he wanted to.
“How do you know about Allana?” Aiden asked. His voice was raw, and he hated that.
“I found some letters...” Riona sounded guilty.
“And you couldn’t help but read them even though they were private?” Aiden frowned but had a hard time mustering up anger. Allana’s death was no secret, but Riona had read the letters.
Riona blushed. “I didn’t read them all.”
“Should I thank you for that?” Aiden looked down at Riona, and she blushed, lowering her gaze.
“No, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to read them at all, but Ava jumped in the trunk and then I read a letter that mentioned Allana. But I opened the trunk and didn’t have to read the letters. I could have put them back. There was no excuse for my behavior except curiosity. And you didn’t tell me not to read the letters...”
Aiden laughed at Riona’s guilty expression. He wasn’t mad at her and didn’t blame her for her inquisitiveness. Fae were naturally curious, and it seemed his companion wasn’t an exception. That made any sadness he was feeling wash away. Riona’s Fae behavior warmed him to the core. He would have done the same. He almost wanted to share the entire story with her, but something stopped him. “I love that your Fae side compelled you to read the letters, but please promise you will never read my letters again unless I have given you permission.”
“I give you my word.”
“Then I have nothing to be angry about.”
Riona looked at him in surprise. “But...”
Aiden shrugged. “I didn’t tell you not to read my letters. You were given free rein of my home. Any Fae would have done the same.” He paused. “But I would rather not discuss the contents of the letters.”
“I stopped when I realized what I was reading.”
“Good.”
Aiden tilted his head up and stared into the stars, searching for an answer to why he was almost relieved that Riona knew the story of his sister. Usually, he guarded his personal information very closely. He didn’t want his secrets to be used against him. Riona would never hurt me. The whisper of the thought shook him. What’s happening to me?
“Aiden.” Riona laid a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry for what I did... but if you ever want to talk about her, I’ll listen. Loss is something I am no stranger to.”
Her words touched him. It had been a long time since anyone had made a gesture to him that was only meant out of true kindness. He kept his eyes pinned on the stars and tried to school his face in impassivity. He couldn’t look at her. Not yet. He was too emotional. She would see too much. He knew it was bubbling right there underneath the surface. His mind scrambled around for something dismissive and pithy to say, but her fingers shook a little against his arm. He wanted to kiss her so badly.
When he slowly turned to face her, he was undone. Those beautiful emerald eyes were misty with emotion. He grasped her chin in his hand very gently and tilted her face up towards his. Her eyes widened, and he knew Riona somehow saw everything. His pain. His guilt. His suffering. His yearning. His loneliness. She saw it all. But she didn’t run. No, she threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer.
He didn’t stop her. Not this time. He welcomed her. He welcomed this. It was inevitable. The end of the old dance and the beginning of a new one.
The world disappeared. There was nothing else but Riona. Her lips. Her scent. Her taste. She filled his senses. He wanted more of her. He deepened the kiss to the point it was almost painful, but she only gripped him tighter. Her body fit against his like a missing piece to a puzzle. His hands found the laces at the back of her dress, and his fingers began to deftly unlace the ties. She tore at his shirt. Aiden broke off the kiss and helped her with his shirt. Suddenly, the cold bit into his skin in the place where her hands had been.
“Wait.” Her single word rang out harshly. Riona looked up at him with a mix of surprise and fear. He didn’t doubt his expression mirrored hers. They stepped away from each other like sleepwalkers woken from a trance. He pulled his shirt back on.
Aiden opened his mouth to speak, but Riona held her finger against it.
“This is too much. Too fast. I don’t know if I can take the pain if you hurt me.” Riona’s expression was heartbreaking. Something very close to guilt seeped into Aiden’s heart.
“Never.” He reached out to stroke her cheek. He never wanted to hurt her. Never. She closed her eyes with a sigh and then stepped back from his reach.
Aiden tried to close the distance she’d put between them, but she held up a hand to stop him.
“Getting involved with you might break me, Aiden. I could love you so easily. But you don’t have regrets. You don’t apologize. You don’t love. You don’t allow yourself to feel. Will you ever let me in, or will I just be a memory forgotten with time? I don’t know if I can do this with you.” Her voice cracked with emotion. She went over to sit down on a small rock near the cliff’s edge. When she looked out into the darkness, her face was etched in sadness.
He stood rooted in place at a loss. Go to her! A voice screamed in his head. No! You will lose yourself if you do. Another voice cried out. He looked over to where Riona sat. She was so small and alone. Her arms were hugging her body tightly, like she was trying to keep her emotions all trapped inside. He couldn’t stand to leave her like she was. It didn’t matter the cost. He was willing to pay it. Just this once. For her.
Before he could stop himself, he sat down beside her and held out his arm to her. She slid closer and laid her head on his shoulder.
“Aiden...”
He just shook his head and put his arm around her. She sighed. There was a wealth of emotion in that sigh.
When Aiden spoke, his voice was rough. “I don’t know if I can be what you want me to be. I don’t know if I will make you happy. I want so badly to give you what you want, but…” his whisper trailed off. Fear closed up his throat. She seemed to understand, and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. She circled her arm around him.
“I don’t want to take something you won’t give me freely.”
“I want to...”
Riona placed a hand on his lips. She stilled his words. She stopped the declaration he was unsure how to make.
He kissed the top of her head gently. They sat there in silence until the sun rose.