Chapter 13
Chapter
Thirteen
Sunlight greeted Riona as she woke. She smiled to herself and stretched. Her hand landed on the bed beside her. Empty. Riona looked down at the space where Aiden should be, but there was only a very shallow, almost invisible indention.
His tunic was still on the floor beside her dress. They lay in a puddle intertwined. Her heart fell. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected when she woke, but it wasn’t this. She slid out of bed. There was no use lying about. Riona grabbed a dress from her trunk and threw it on quickly.
She pressed her door open, and the sound of clattering pans echoed down the hallway. Curious, she padded towards the sound. When she reached the kitchen, she was surprised to see a shirtless Aiden leaning over the stove, stirring a pan of eggs. A thick loaf of bread with steam rising from it was sitting on the table already, as well as a hunk of cheese. Two settings were laid out, and Ava sat on a nearby windowsill, tucking into what looked like a piece of salmon.
“You’re awake,” Aiden said as he turned with the pan in his hand. He deposited a helping of eggs on each plate. He shot her a distracted smile but didn’t look directly at her. That immediately had Riona on her guard.
“I am.” Riona eased into one of the chairs. Aiden’s back was turned to her while he finished breakfast preparation. Riona waited and watched him. Something wasn’t right. His movements were too jerky. He was clearly tense. Once he was done, he sat down and shot Riona another one of those weird smiles. A smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes.
He picked up a fork and began to eat. Riona did the same while watching him surreptitiously. The food was amazing, but it tasted like ash on her tongue. The silence stretched out and became heavy, but still, Aiden remained silent, focusing only on his food.
Usually, during meals, they talked companionably. Today wasn’t that day. Riona set her fork down and waited for Aiden to look up at her again. He didn’t notice since he was studiously avoiding her.
Finally, when it became clear he was going to continue to ignore her, she spoke, “Say something, Aiden. You’re starting to scare me.”
Aiden stopped eating. His golden eyes sought hers, and they were deeply troubled. “When I woke up this morning next to you, I realized that last night wasn’t a dream. It was real. The reality of what we’ve done. It was amazing, but…” He scrubbed his face with his hand and looked back over at her. She didn’t miss how tense his body was or the tightness of his jaw.
“But,” Riona prompted.
“By this time, I’m usually sending my lovers on their way with a smile and a happy memory. I’m not sending you on your way. I don’t want you to leave, and I’m terrified.”
Riona stood up and walked over to him. He held out his arms, and she settled into his lap. She rested her forehead against his, and they sat that way for a while.
“What happens next?” Riona asked, shifting in Aiden’s lap. He stroked her cheek, and his gaze became unfocused.
“I don’t know. Do you?” His voice was distant. She wanted more from him in this moment, but he wasn’t ready to give it to her. Her heart ached for him. And for her. She could give him time, though.
Riona shook her head. “Whatever we want.”
Aiden looked down at her and nodded.
“What do you want?” he asked.
Your love.
Riona hopped up out of the chair and away from Aiden. He grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers. His golden eyes glowed with regret. She smiled down at him, hoping none of her sadness had snuck through.
“Right now, I want to finish my breakfast, and afterward finally take a look at the gift the queen gave me—and maybe later a repeat of last night?”
“I think that can be arranged.” Aiden shot her a wicked smile. It was a little forced, but they were both trying to relieve the situation. They both began to eat again. The silence wasn’t as charged as it had been earlier, but it wasn’t completely clear. Much had been left unsaid.
“Will you play a song for me?” Aiden’s question caught her by surprise.
“Yes, of course.” Riona took her last bite of bacon. She chewed on it contemplatively and then swallowed. “I’ll go through my mother’s songbook and see if I can find one to play.”
“I heard that Finella composed beautiful music.” He was trying so hard to please her in whatever way he could.
“Let’s see if I can do one of my mother’s songs justice.”
“I have no doubt you will.” Aiden rose and collected the plates. Riona followed him to the wash bin, but he waved her away.
“Let me take care of this. I know you’ve been dying to crack open the songbook.”
Riona kissed Aiden and left the kitchen. She ignored the tear that trickled down her cheek as she walked down the hallway. When she reached her room, she closed the door with a quiet click and let the tears flow freely. She walked over to the tall windows and stared out at the beautiful but bleak mountain range, wishing she could fly away. She wished she could be anywhere but here.
The door opened, and arms circled her. She was pulled against Aiden’s firm chest. He tucked her head under his chin and held her more tightly.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“I know.”
“Give me time.”
“We’re Fae. We have all the time in the world.”
Aiden laughed harshly at her joke. He wiped the tears from her eyes with his thumb.
Riona sniffed. “I said I was going to sing for you.” She walked over to the table and picked up the book. The smell of leather and parchment filled her senses. She opened the book, and more tears fell when she was greeted with her mother’s familiar handwriting. She sat down hard on the bed.
“You miss her.” It wasn’t a question.
“Every day. Sometimes I forget she’s gone. I’ll think of something I want to tell her and then remember I can’t.” Riona traced her finger over her mother’s handwriting.
“I understand.”
“I know you do.” Riona turned to Aiden. His eyes were full of pain and sincerity. “You know my story. Now tell me yours.”
Aiden looked away from her, and he worked his lip with his teeth. She wasn’t sure that he was going to say anything, but he finally spoke, “Allana was my twin. We were thick as thieves. There were no secrets between us. We spent countless hours together, sharing dreams, fears, and aspirations. Our lives were so intertwined that being without the other was inconceivable.” Aiden paused. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”
“Please tell me.” Riona rubbed his shoulder soothingly. His entire body had become tense as a bowstring.
“Everything we did, we did together. As you know, pookas are traditionally used as mounts for many of the Seelie nobles. When we reached the age to take our vows of loyalty and become mounts, we were chosen by the same Sidhe house, The House of the Eternal Sun. Our parents were overjoyed at the prestige. We’d done better than they could have hoped. What they didn’t know was how uncaring Eldrin Sunfather was to his people. He saw his vessels as disposable. Allana paid for his apathy with her life. He chose to send her into a small battle that should not have had casualties, but he took unneeded risks for the glory of his house, and she died. It was stupid and pointless, and she died horribly.”
Aiden covered his face with his hands, and his body shook. Riona wrapped her arms around him.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.
Aiden lifted his head and pinned her with an intense, wild gaze. He was reliving a terrible past, and it broke her heart. “No one cared that she died except for me. Not even my parents. They blamed Allana for her own death because holding Eldrin accountable for his actions was unthinkable because he was a great noble. They spun her death into something ugly and untrue. I was heartbroken and angry. When I tried to speak the truth, everyone turned on me. My friends. My family. All of them. So I left.”
“Aiden,” Riona breathed his name.
“This world is a cruel place. We do what we must to protect ourselves.” Aiden said the words as if they were a mantra.
“But there is kindness as well if you are willing to open yourself to it.”
“What a beautiful soul you have, after the way the world has treated you. Show me this kindness,” Aiden whispered.
“I’ll try.”