Chapter 21
Chapter
Twenty-One
“What have you done?” The queen’s words echoed Aiden’s thoughts, but she wasn’t talking about his fight with Riona. He fumbled for the right words that would pacify the queen for his mistake. She made a noise of disgust at his hesitation.
“Fix. It. Aiden.” Siobhan stared down at him from her throne. Her amethyst eyes darkened with anger. “I don’t care what you have to do—fix it. We cannot afford to make enemies of the vampires. It was bad enough that they sided with my father during the war, and our alliance has been tenuous since I took the throne.”
“Yes, my queen,” Aiden said with a bow. He’d messed up even in his current condition. He knew that he needed to grovel. His anger melted away at Cael, and the alien emotion of embarrassment replaced the anger.
“The only thing that didn’t have them ripping out my throat when I ascended was the threat of the draugar. We need the vampires on our side, and they need us. We cannot afford to insult their ambassador again. No matter how big of a prick he is.” Siobhan sighed and slouched on her throne.
“I understand, and I will make amends.”
“We need them as allies. They stem the tide of draugar in the north. Ciar can’t stand alone. Apologize if you must.” The queen noticed Aiden bristle at her order of an apology. She pushed herself up from her throne and stalked to the end of the dais. Suddenly, she was on the ground in front of him. She vibrated with rage, and darkness pooled around her. Her eyes were black with fury. Aiden took a step back.
“I don’t give a damn about your fucking code!” Siobhan screamed. She stabbed him with a finger, and tendrils of darkness snaked around his ankles. “Is it worth our people being decimated for you not to have to apologize? Because that is what will happen. We will all die. Maybe not at first—Bloody Bones is good. He will be able to hold them off for a while, but it will just be a matter of time before Ciar is overrun and the draugar swarm our lands.”
“I will apologize.” The queen blinked in surprise, and her eyes started to lighten. The fact that the queen expected a battle... He was a monster. Aiden hated himself a little more.
“Thank you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I would never...” Aiden shook his head, “because of a vow I made to myself as a boy. I wouldn’t hurt so many. Do you think I am such a bastard I would do that?”
Siobhan smiled at him sadly, her fury already gone. She didn’t need to say anything. The answer was clearly written on her face. What was left of his heart turned to ash.
“I’ve made a huge error.”
“Yes.”
“I can’t do this anymore, but if I let go, then what am I?”
“Someone who has suffered a terrible loss and betrayal but refused to acknowledge it. Someone who picked up the broken pieces and tried to put them back together as best he could.” Siobhan whispered. Aiden’s body shook with remorse and pain. “I’m so sorry, Aiden.”
Siobahn’s gentle words shattered something inside of him. Whatever he had left holding all of it together broke like a dam, and the pain and suffering of his seemingly endless losses. His sister. His mother. His father. His Seelie friends. Their betrayal. All of it and then?—
Riona.
Images of Riona flashed through his mind. Her laughter. Her smile. Her passion. In the end, her tears. He’d hurt her so badly. For what reason? The idiotic code he’d thought would save him, but in the end, it didn’t. It hurt him even more.
Aiden let out a noise like a wounded animal, and Siobhan held him tightly and made soothing sounds to try to calm him. He tried to break free from her, but she didn’t let go. His breath came out in short gasps, and his entire body tensed up. Wave after wave of pain hit him. His body buffeted against the incoming pain. Slowly, like any storm, it began to ebb, and the pain became more manageable. Aiden exhaled a shaky breath, and the queen eased her grip on him. She still watched him with concern.
“I’ll apologize to Cael.”
“Maybe Cael isn’t the only one you should apologize to.”
Aiden stepped out of Siobhan’s grip. His mouth opened and closed wordlessly, but pain stilled his tongue. Emotions welled up and silenced him. He couldn’t talk about Riona. Not yet. Not even with his dearest friend, who just held him like a baby while he faced the darkness. The words wouldn’t come.
“I’ll mend things with Cael,” he said brokenly.
“Don’t you miss her?” Siobhan asked.
“With every breath I take,” Aiden said quietly.
“Then go to her. Apologize.”
“If it were only that simple.” Aiden closed his eyes, but Riona was waiting for him.
“It can be.”
“I wish it was.” Aiden met Siobhan’s gaze. The queen nodded. She pushed herself up and walked back across the dais. Not for the first time did Aiden think about how lonely Siobahn looked. Her shoulders held the weight of the Unseelie’s future on them. Today that weight looked almost insurmountable for her. When she turned to face Aiden, her expression was unreadable, and Siobahn the queen had returned.
“Fix things with Cael and try to keep a rein on your temper. Even with you, I can’t be benevolent like this if you make such a mistake again,” the queen said. Weariness hung on every word. She flopped down on the throne and waved at him dismissively, not meeting his eyes.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
She didn’t respond. Aiden glanced up. She wasn’t paying attention to him anymore. She was lost in her thoughts and far away from the throne room. He bowed again and left the empty throne room. It seemed he wasn’t the only one with regrets.
Courtiers shrank away from him as he passed through the antechamber that served as a waiting room for an audience with the queen. Aiden noticed the fear and disgust in their eyes. When had things changed? Usually he was greeted by name and stopped, but this time, everyone recoiled from him. No one wanted anything to do with him.
Aiden marched through as the crowd parted. Only one person caught his attention. Cybelle stepped into his path.
“She won’t see me again today either,” Cybelle said by way of greeting.
“I’m not the person to be seeking help from. I’m lucky I’m still alive after what I did last night.” Aiden continued walking, and Cybelle kept up beside him. She was much shorter than him, so she was practically running to keep up. They’d passed through the crowded antechamber into much less populated quarters.
“You’re not acting like yourself. You haven’t been since Riona left,” Cybelle gasped out.
“Don’t speak her name to me.”
“Stop being so damn dramatic.” Cybelle rolled her eyes.
Aiden’s mouth fell open in shock.
“Clearly you miss her and still love her. What did she do that can’t be forgiven?”
“She left me.” Aiden hoped that this would be the end of the conversation, but Cybelle looked at him in disbelief.
“I find that hard to believe. The last time I saw the two of you together, the rest of the world didn’t exist. You were so wrapped up in each other. She looked at you like you were her moon and stars,” Cybelle said with a note of unmistakable envy.
“I don’t want to discuss this with you.”
“Then who will you discuss this with?” Cybelle asked.
Aiden clamped his lips shut and tried shooting his companion a scowl. She crossed her arms and remained unfazed.
“You haven’t met my mother. You don’t scare me.” Cybelle gestured with her hand for him to speak. “Out with it.”
Her tone didn’t brook any argument, and there was so much concern in her pink eyes. Aiden realized he did want to talk to someone about Riona. The memory of how much Cybelle looked like Donn without her glamour entered his mind. He could still see flashes of Donn in her, even with the glamour. He missed his friend, and his daughter was standing right in front of him. A daughter who painfully reminded him of his friend. A daughter who was so much like Donn. It seemed she even had his kind heart. What did he have to lose anyway?
“I might have led her to believe that I was going to save her village.” Cybelle opened her mouth to say something, but Aiden held up a hand and continued, “I didn’t promise her anything.”
“She’s not from Loch-Gaar, is she? The village you placed a blight on because they tried to find another patron?”
“She is.”
“And you wonder why she left? You cursed her village and then didn’t lift the blight even though it sounds like you alluded to her that you did?”
“Yes.” Aiden sighed. Damn, it sounded bad. He had to fix things not just for Riona but for the innocents in the village. They didn’t deserve what he’d done.
“You’re better than this. Stop being so petty. Apologize and lift the blight. Humans are fragile creatures. You might have done irreparable damage.”
“You’re brave to speak to me this way.”
“Am I supposed to be afraid of you? I consider you my first friend in the Unseelie Court.” Her admission thawed his opinion of her a little. “This is how I treat my friends.”
“Most give me a degree of respect.” Cybelle rolled her eyes at him.
“For many years, I thought being Seelie was more important than being happy. I was a fool. A prideful fool. You’re unhappy, Aiden. Set aside your pride and look at the bigger picture. You’re not going to be happy until you do.” She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t speak so she started to walk away. Then she paused. “Mend things with Riona and then get me an audience with the queen.”
Aiden let out a surprised bark of laughter. “You’re a bold one.”
“You haven’t seen my powers yet,” she shot cryptically over her shoulder.
Aiden watched her go. He wanted to say something, to argue with her about how futile it was to try to fix things with Riona, but she was right. He needed to find Riona and apologize. He’d been a foolish ass. Riona hadn’t deserved what he’d said to her. He’d been afraid of his feelings and lashed out at her. All because, deep down, he was scared to love again. To be vulnerable. Riona was worth the risk. She hadn’t deserved the way he treated her. Not at all. He had to find her and apologize. It didn’t matter if they got back together. He owed her an apology.
Now.
He rushed through the cold, dark hallways. Courtiers gave him a wide berth and watched as he sped by until a large, looming, familiar figure blocked his path. The northern Vampires were huge, hulking creatures, and Cael was taller than most. Aiden didn’t miss that he held a worn leather glove in his hand. Anger sparked in his sherry brown eyes. Cael opened his mouth and raised his hand, holding the glove ready to strike Aiden.
“I must speak to you about our earlier exchange,” Aiden said loudly as he skidded to a stop in front of the vampire. He placed his hands on the man’s arms, forcing the other man to lower the hand holding the glove. Aiden wasn’t about to let Cael challenge him to a duel. That would be very bad. If Aiden had survived the duel, he wouldn’t have lasted much longer than that once Siobahn got ahold of him. Cael paused in surprise at the physical contact. Aiden opened his mouth, and the apology stuck in his throat.
Do it, you ass. For Riona. For the Unseelie. Move past this.
“Cael, my humblest apologies for my behavior earlier. I was out of line and said some things I should not have. Especially to you, our esteemed ambassador from the north.” Aiden made sure his voice carried through the room and over the buzz of the courtiers. Everyone needed to hear this. Aiden bowed humbly to the other man and ignored the hushed whispers of surprise that broke out amongst the onlookers.
“I don’t accept your apology. I—” Damn the vampire. He was really going to have to humble himself.
Aiden cut Cael off. “I was a fool, but I implore you to forgive me. Love has caused me to act irrationally. I didn’t mean a word I said to you. I was not myself.”
At the mention of love, Cael’s expression softened. “Ah, the lovely Riona. I have missed her beautiful songs. She added something special to the revels that has been missed in her absence.”
“It was my fault we argued, and instead of telling her my feelings, I let her go. If you accept my apology, I will try to rectify that immediately.”
A ghost of a smile crossed Cael’s lips, and the hardness in his eyes softened. He tucked the glove onto his belt. “See that you do. Love can be fleeting. Never let it go if you have it.”
“Thank you for your kindness and your willingness to overlook my poor behavior.” Aiden was surprised at how much he meant those words. Maybe Cael wasn’t as terrible as he’d initially thought. The Vampire nodded. Aiden started down the hallway again.
“Aiden.” Cael’s voice rang out behind him. “I won’t be as kind in the future, and I would hate to be responsible for the queen to lose her Unraveller. Remember that.” No, the ambassador was still a bastard.
“The queen might not be in danger of losing her Unraveller, but your king could very well lose an ambassador,” Aiden said, trying to sound as contrite as possible, but he could only take so much and Cael was pressing him to see how far he would grovel. The ambassador let out a sharp laugh and Aiden bowed again just to temper his words. The Vampire was watching him with open amusement now.
"Go! Try to win your lady love. Perhaps she will take you back even though you don't deserve a gem like Riona."
For the first time, Aiden couldn’t have agreed with the ambassador’s words more.