4. Lee #2
“Julian. I didn’t want you in this. You have a good life. You’re a good person. This mess, me, everything I’ve done, it’ll just bring you down.”
Warm hands cup my face. His touch disarms me.
“I know why you pushed me away.”
His eyes stare into mine. He’s mad. Julian has been mad at me for too long. I hate it, but it has to stay this way. Otherwise, he won’t let me finish what I started.
“I didn’t push you away. We weren’t working anymore.” My voice is so weak it makes my lie completely unbelievable.
Julian steps between my knees and presses me back against the counter, his hips locking mine in place.
My breathing stops when he wraps his hand around my throat.
“We always work. I gave you space because I knew what you needed. I know you, babydoll. You might have kept what you were doing from me, but I know everything about how you work. I know you will rake yourself over the coals to find justice.”
He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear with his free hand. The other loosens around my throat a fraction.
I’m an idiot, because I’m dying for him to kiss me. Being in Julian’s clutches while he stares down at me, it’s enough to make me combust.
I almost forget that I’m furious. I drive my knee into his thigh before my body can betray me any further.
“Damn it, Ettie.”
He drops his hold immediately. There is no anger on his handsome face, just disappointment. I should be used to it. Just another person I love let down by my inadequacy.
I will myself to bury the shame before he sees it. He’s the bad guy. Or I am. Either way, things are bad.
I slide past him and head back to the bedroom. I’m too tired to think, and Julian’s body pressed against mine just blew up my last working brain cell.
“This is what’s best,” he calls after me.
“Oh, and you know what’s best?” I ask, turning to face him.
“Yes.”
The word hangs between us.
I search his face, looking for doubt. I keep looking for guilt. Nothing. Absolutely no remorse. I roll my eyes.
“Where’s my phone?” I ask.
“In the bedroom.”
“Give it to me.”
He hesitates then exhales slowly, like he’s bracing himself. Like I’m the problem here.
“You can’t call anyone.”
“I didn’t say I would.” Then I let out a frustrated scream. Poor Jasper hides under the couch at my rage.
Julian stares at me, unfazed by my outburst. “You don’t know who’s compromised.”
“I know Elliot is. Seems you two are best buds now. Can I even trust you?”
He flinches at the words that landed harder than I intended.
“I’m still pissed at you,” I say, silently cursing myself for trying to explain why I’m being mean.
He turns to the bedroom, and I follow. I try not to stare at the way his shirt stretches across his muscular back. He gets my phone from the nightstand and hands it to me.
Holding the side button, I turn it on. There is no signal, obviously. I scroll through missed calls and messages. One name is conspicuously absent.
Why would I expect anything from him? He’s working with them. Against me.
I drop the phone on the bed and sink beside it. Every muscle in my body aches.
Julian lingers in the doorway, watching me like he’s waiting for me to bolt. Good. He should know not to try to force me to do anything I don’t want to do.
“I need information,” I say in a weak voice. “Elliot said they were watching me.”
“You need rest and some water.”
I look up at him. “You don’t get to tell me what I need.”
He steps inside anyway and crouches in front of me, lowering himself to my eye level. “You’re angry,” he says. “And you’re not thinking clearly yet.”
I scoff. “Because you drugged me.”
“Yes.”
I lean forward, closing the distance between us. “Like I said, dick move. Not very Hippocratic Oath-y of you.”
His eyes sparkle at me, but his tone is serious. “I know.”
“Then we understand each other. You won’t ever do that again,” I say. I need the upper hand here. I’m so obviously out of my depth in all of this.
Silence settles around us.
“Oh my God, you aren’t even sorry,” I shout and throw my hands up.
“I’m sorry that I’m not sorry.”
What. A. Dick.
Outside, a bird calls. Somewhere deeper in the woods, something moves. There are probably bears and wolves out there. This is the exact place a woman like me dies in a horror film. The FBI isn’t the only thing I’m suddenly afraid of barging in here.
“What did Elliot tell you?”
Julian hesitates. “He said they have something concrete on you.” He swallows and continues. “They have been watching you. And they were able to get a warrant for your arrest.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. “Did he say what the warrant is for?”
“Not specifically.”
“Did he say anything about Emily? About Project Vine?”
Julian’s gaze flicks away for the first time. “Ettie, I need to tell you something about what Elliot and I did.”
He exhales, and I can tell whatever he’s going to say is going to make me livid.
“Elliot came to me because he needed help. He said I could help throw them off your trail.”
My teeth grind together. Everyone was making moves around me, talking about me, and I had no fucking clue. Some investigator I am. God, I’m an idiot.
“Sweet. You and Elliot teamed up against me. And what is the latest from the traitor?”
“He said he knows who is responsible.”
My nails bite into my palms. I want to rage, to throw something at Julian’s head for keeping this from me. But this is the most information I’ve gotten lately, and it’s painfully clear they know more than I do right now. So, I shove the fury down.
“Director Fuller.” His eyes darken when he says the name.
“Fuck. I knew, sort of. I wasn’t sure. You can’t keep me here, Julian. I’m so close.” I stand. My legs are steadier now. Anger holds me together, apparently.
He studies me. I love the way he looks at me, even when I want to strangle him.
“I can't let you leave yet. Not until Elliot gives us the all clear.”
My fists clench at my sides. “Julian. This is insane. You can’t keep me hostage.”
He doesn’t move.
We stare at each other. Everything unsaid presses in. I kept so much from him to protect him. He doesn’t realize the weight of me staying here, or why I had to become this version of myself. The one he ended up hating anyway.
Finally, he looks away.
“I’ll bring you food,” he says. “You need to eat. We’re miles away from anyone. I don’t want to drug you again, babydoll. Don’t make me.”
How dare he.
I watch him leave the room without another word. The door doesn’t lock behind him. There is no need anyway. I’m stuck. Without knowing the full scope of the warrant or who I can trust, leaving now would be stupid. I need a plan.
Sinking back on the bed, I stare at the wall, heart thudding and mind racing.
Julian thinks he saved me.
Elliot has disappeared.
And I’m still no closer to understanding why they wanted my sister dead.