13. Elliot
Elliot
Nothing moves below except the wind through the trees. No one’s here. Miles of brush and forest are all that is around.
Good.
I still park a mile away and hike to the cabin.
My backpack is heavy as hell. This will be my final trip. I’ve made more than two dozen runs, moving supplies a little at a time so no single purchase flags unwanted attention. I’ve done the same with the evidence I can find against Fuller.
After today, the safehouse is ready. The only thing left is to get the ex on board. If he won’t help, I’ll have to deal with her asshole friend Calum. The guy might be Lee’s best friend. but he’s the definition of a loose cannon.
Oh, and he might actually kill me when he finds out what I’ve done to Lee. It’s been almost four weeks, and I can’t stop thinking about it. God, the look on her face the night I broke both our hearts fucking haunts me.
I’d been rehearsing this lie for days, and it still hurts to even think the words.
Lee's apartment smells like her shampoo, and I try not to be obvious about inhaling it.
Jasper climbs up my jeans and gives me a pitiful wail. I’m going to miss the little tyrant. He purrs and, with a flick of his tail, trots off to his avocado palace.
I’m sitting on the edge of her couch, elbows on my knees, trying to look relaxed while my heart beats hard enough to fall out of my chest.
She’s in the kitchen, barefoot in one of my old hoodies that hits her mid-thigh, hair still damp from the shower. She looks so fucking good it hurts.
For a second, I let myself imagine what it would be like if I could just stay. Pull her onto my lap, slide my hands under her shirt, and forget Fuller even exists.
But I can’t.
She pads over and drops down beside me, close enough that her bare knee brushes my thigh. Her hand finds my arm. She strokes absently along the inside of my wrist the way she does when she’s worried.
“You’ve been quiet tonight,” she says, tilting her head. Her gaze searches my face like she already knows something’s wrong. “Everything okay?”
I force a smirk.
“Yeah. Just tired.”
She doesn’t buy it. Of course she doesn’t. Lee sees through bullshit better than anyone I’ve ever met.
Instead of calling me on it, she swings one leg over my lap and straddles me, settling her weight against my thighs. Her hands slide up my chest and into my hair, tugging lightly the way I like.
“Want me to wake you up?” she says, leaning in until her lips hover just above mine. Her voice drops into that low, filthy register that always undoes me. “I’ve got a few ideas.”
She feels so good on top of me that I almost let her. My hands automatically grip her hips, fingers digging into her soft flesh. I could kiss her right now. I could bury myself in her and pretend for another night that we’re safe.
But Fuller's case against her sits in an encrypted file on my laptop. Every day I stall lets him strengthen it.
I gently catch her wrists and lower her hands.
“Not tonight, kid.”
She stills. The easy heat in her eyes flickers into something sharper. “Not tonight,” she repeats slowly and crawls off me. A few inches away from me on the sofa feels like miles.
I swallow hard. My throat feels like sandpaper.
I’ve dragged this out as long as I can. I’ve stalled. I’ve made every excuse I can think of. I’ve fucked her like it was the last time, three nights in a row because I couldn’t stop myself. But I’m out of time.
“Lee… we need to talk.”
Her whole body tenses. She pulls the hoodie sleeves down over her hands.
“Okay. Talk.”
I look at her, and every lie I’d rehearsed is like poison on my tongue. But I have to do this. If I don’t, Fuller will use me to destroy her. And if Lee has any idea of what I am planning, she’ll charge directly into the line of fire just to keep me from taking the bullet for her.
So I lie.
“I met someone else.”
Her lips part, but nothing comes out for a long second.
“You… what?”
I force myself to keep my voice even. I keep my tone to sound almost bored. Like this doesn’t feel as if I’m ripping my own heart out.
“It’s not serious with her, but… look, this thing with us was never serious for me either. It was fun. Hot as hell. But I’m not ready for anything more than that right now. And you’ve been…”
Every syllable tastes like betrayal.
She stares at me like I just grew a second head. The hurt that flashes across her face is so raw I nearly break right there on her couch.
“Attached,” I add, twisting the knife so she won’t come after me. “You’ve been clingy. And I don’t want to lead you on.”
Lee’s mouth opens then closes. Her hands ball into fists in her lap.
“Clingy,” she echoes, voice flat and dangerous. “Did you just come over tonight to tell me you want to fuck other people? Or are you already fucking other people?”
I shrug like the asshole she now thinks I am. “I thought we were on the same page. Casual. No strings. But you’ve been… different lately. And I’ve got my own shit going on.”
She stands up so fast Jasper startles before curling back into his bed.
Her eyes lock on me. “Don’t you dare act like this was just casual,” she says, voice cracking.
I stand, too, because I have to look like I mean every word. If I stay seated, I'll drop to my knees, confess everything, and beg her to forgive me before she even knows what I've done.
“I’m sorry,” I say, and it’s the only true thing that’s left my mouth tonight. “But this is better for both of us. Let’s just… end it clean.”
“Right. Because you’re such a fucking gentleman.”
I walk to the door and reach for the door handle before I lose my nerve completely.
“Take care of yourself, kid.”
The nickname slips out before I can stop it. Her flinch is small, but I see it.
“Don’t call me that,” she says, angry and hurt.
I don’t look back. I can’t. My chest caves inward with every step.
The door clicks shut behind me, and I stand in the hallway for a long second, my forehead pressed to the wood, listening to the silence on the other side.
Then something crashes inside her apartment.
I just destroyed the best thing that's ever happened to me.
But she’s alive. As long as she hates me, she won't get close enough to Fuller to get herself killed.
This was the only way. Even if it feels like I just put a bullet in my own heart.
I can’t dwell on that now. I need to set things in motion because it’s all about to implode. I lit the fuse after all.
A coyote howls, and I pull out the rifle strapped to the side of my backpack and pick up the pace to a light jog. I haven’t had much cardio today. I'll make sure to run back too.
The dark shape of the house comes into view. It’s like the opening shot of a horror movie, and I’m praying it doesn’t end up covered in blood like some bad 90’s movie.
It won’t. I spent the last month fixing things. Putting it all in place. I even broke my own fucking heart. And I would do it all again. I just need this to work, and it will be worth it.
My phone buzzes. I type in the code on the front door and walk in, not bothering to hit the lights.
Paranoid is my entire personality right now.
Unknown: Where are you, agent?
Elliot: We both know you’re able to see my location. I’m working.
I set my backpack on the floor and pull up the tracker app. The signal still shows me exactly where Fuller expects me to be, at Lee’s apartment.
It took forever to figure out how to hide from the FBI. The phone and cars are the first places they look to find your location. I have my phone mirrored, the IP address fucked up for tracing, and a signal scrambler.
Even those aren’t enough to keep going this way.
There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about how much I fucked up by agreeing to this assignment.
Fuller was there when they first approached me. He painted such an awful picture of Lee. The file was thick with all her suspected crimes. Murder, theft, fraud, you name it, Lee’s done it.
And Fuller knows it.
Two months before I met Lee, I walked in the conference room, shook his hand, and sat down.
For an older man he was fit. His dark hair with silvered edges around his face waved under the fan in the small Texas office I’d worked out of for two years. Not a lot of action. I’d mostly done forensic accounting. It’s not as cool as they make it look on TV.
My record was good, but I wasn’t even the best on the team. I had no idea why they picked me.
But according to my supervisor, I was perfect for this job. Enough knowledge of computers to have an idea of how Lee was getting away with everything. She called it enthusiasm, but I know she meant my winning personality. Oh, and she said it would work because I’m hot.
I was hungry for it. For the promotion, for the action, and for a way to try and make a difference. My ideals were na?ve and wrong, as it turns out.
My backpack plops on the floor in the extra room. It’s rugged but the best option at the moment.
The smaller bedroom has the desk I brought, and on it sits the computer setup Lee is going to get wet over. I only wish I could see her face when she sees it.
Every scrap of information I have copied before Fuller could try and cover up more.
Will I ever get to see her face again?
I’ve tried a million outcomes for this plan. Even if I can prove he buried Project Vine and used me to set her up, there is no way Lee walks away from this. Not without a target on her back from everyone in the bureau and several life sentences.
As fucked-up as I’ve made everything, this is the best option. I can help her figure out what happened to her sister.
Then I can hand her enough leverage to destroy Fuller and negotiate a deal before anyone else decides a dead rogue agent is easier than a public trial.
It is a terrible plan. And the only one I have.
Once I’m done with the computers, I unpack the last few personal things I brought to make the place less unbearable.
I brought the coffee she likes, Jasper’s food, and a blanket I took from her apartment when I broke in searching for evidence against her. It smelled like her. I almost felt bad watching her on the surveillance camera looking for it. Not bad enough to not sleep with it though.
Last, I unload the book she’s been wanting to read and place it on the desk.
She will probably throw it at my head when she realizes I helped arrange this. At least she will have something nearby to throw.
My phone vibrates again. I’m out of time, but the space is ready for them now.
Them.
The word leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. If this works, I will be delivering Lee straight into another man’s arms because Dr. Julian Jameson is the one person she might listen to long enough to stay alive.
The phone lights up in my pocket once more, and to my complete delight I see the text message is from her.
Lee: Where are you, asshole? We got the autopsy for our mob man.
Elliot: Well, what do you need me for?
Lee: Someone has to bring the coffee.
Elliot: You just want to have some eye candy.
I immediately regret that. I can’t flirt with her. She thinks I don’t like her anymore. We are nothing more than partners.
It’s so far from the truth I can’t believe she bought the lie in the first place. She ignored me for six workdays. On the seventh, she did what she always does, stands strong and tells everyone to fuck off.
I still torture myself by watching her at her apartment. She’s gone through bags of candy, but at least she has Jasper there with her now. It was exactly what I needed her to do. It’s also exactly what is killing me.
Lee: I mean, maybe…
Her three dots appear. Go away then come back again.
Lee: Naw. Just the coffee.
With a huff of a laugh, I lock the door and head back to my car. I can run faster without the pack. Still, I sling the shotgun across my front because I refuse to go up against a powerful government agency only to be eaten by a bear before I get there.
In the car, I crank the heat and connect my phone to the Bluetooth. Before I put it in gear, I send one more message.
Elliot: I’ll bring the coffee. You can decide what else you want me when you get there.
Lee:
I smile stupidly at the emoji like I didn’t break her only days ago.
Another message comes through the car play system.
Unknown: The bait has been set. Play along with her vigilante shit and get us some goddamn proof. You are running out of time. Get the murder evidence, or we pull this shit and go with the extortion charge.
My brief smile dies.
Elliot: Neither of us wants that. Let me get more from her.
Unknown: Do it quickly.
My hands tighten on the steering wheel.
I have to bury Fuller before he gets to Lee. And I’m running out of time.