Chapter 44
Chapter forty-four
Yale
“Amethyst, you killed Grant?” I asked later that night. The room was pitch-black, but I knew he was in there. I’d known since I woke up earlier to go pee. He sat in the corner on the floor near the door.
“Go to sleep, Sunshine,” he answered with a chuckle. Nothing was funny, but he laughed anyway. “You aren’t going to do anything but yell at me, and I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with that right now.”
“Well, that’s too damn bad,” I said, sitting up. I reached over to the nightstand and turned on the small lamp that sat on it. Amethyst covered his eyes and shook his head.
“I always hated that fucking thing,” he said. “You could’ve given me a heads up.”
“I could say the same thing, but it would’ve fallen on deaf ears, so surprise.” I adjusted the pillow behind me and got comfortable. “Now do I have to ask again, or do I need to call your daddy and tell him that you’re stressing me out?”
He dropped his hands and glared at me. “How the hell am I stressing you out when you turned on that light and damn near blinded me?” He dared to look upset, which only made me laugh. His attitude didn’t mean shit to me. “The fuck is funny?”
“You,” I answered, then smiled. “Now you can answer my question or…” I turned and reached for my phone.
“I can make this call.” I picked up my phone and turned to see him standing on the other side of the bed with a mug on his face.
He scared me with how fast he moved, but I didn’t say anything.
Instead, I held up the phone and moved it back and forth. “Make your choice.”
He stared at my phone with narrow eyes before turning his gaze on me.
He must’ve thought I was bluffing, so I had to prove to him I wasn’t.
I sat up and smiled before turning the phone to me and swiping the screen.
Without a care in the world, I turned the brightness up and angled the phone.
I knew he could see the screen. I went to my contact list, scrolled until I got to Pop’s name, and hit send.
The phone barely rang once before it was answered.
“What’s wrong, daughter?” Pop answered.
“Amethyst--”
Amethyst snatched the phone from me. “Pop, it’s cool,” he said, glaring at me.
“Let me talk to my daughter, Amethyst,” he said, not caring what Amethyst was saying.
“Pop--”
“Put my got-damn daughter on the phone, Amethyst!” he fussed, and I laughed.
Ever since I’d been back and he found out I was pregnant, he’d been wanting to kick Amethyst’s ass.
He was already upset that he’d sent me away, but now knowing that I was possibly carrying his grandchild the entire time sent him over the top.
“She called me, not fucking you. I don’t give a damn about what you are talking about. ”
Amethyst put the phone on mute and glared at me. “Tell that nigga you’re fine so we can talk,” he said.
“Will you tell me what I want to know?” I said and crossed my arms. Amethyst angrily licked his lips and gave me a quick nod. I put my hand out for the phone, and he gently placed it in my palm. I unmuted the phone. “I’m okay, Pop.”
“Are you sure?” he asked, sounding like he didn’t believe me. “I’m already up. I can slide through there and beat his fucking ass like I should’ve done when he was a child.”
“Yes, sir,” I laughed as Amethyst grunted in annoyance. “I will see you tomorrow for lunch?”
“Alright, daughter,” he agreed. “Have a good night. Call me if you need anything.”
“I’m right here if she needs something,” Amethyst said, grilling the phone.
“Nigga, I don’t give a fuck!” Pop yelled. “I was talking to my got-damn daughter, not your ass.”
“Yes, sir,” I said. “Have a good night.”
“You too,” he said, sounding absolutely normal, not like he’d just gone off on his son. “Love you.” The phone call ended, and I set it on the nightstand, where it belonged.
“Now, as I was saying.” I turned back around to face Amethyst. “You killed Grant?”
He licked his lips again, then nodded. I was going to get the answers out of him tonight. “Yeah, Sunshine, I killed him,” he answered as he sat next to me. He fixed the pillows and stretched his long legs out in front of him.
“Why?” I questioned.
“Because I found out everything was a damn lie,” he answered with a shrug. “That bullshit with the race, the agreement. All of it. The only thing I could think to do was kill him.”
“No, I mean, why didn’t you tell me?” I corrected him.
I didn’t give a fuck about Grant dying, especially now, after all these months and everything that I knew.
“Why didn’t you trust me enough to tell me what was going on?
Why did you leave me to handle all this shit alone? Why did you push me away?”
“I thought I was doing the right thing,” he sighed and ran his hands over his face.
“I thought I had the shit handled. That I was that nigga and didn’t have to ask for help from anyone because I had all this figured out.
” He stopped talking and just sat there waiting.
I don’t know if he expected me to yell, cry, and cuss or what, but I didn’t do any of that.
I tapped his leg and waited until he looked up at me. “I fucked up, Sunshine.”
“You did,” I agree with a nod. “You didn’t trust the people around you to be there for you.
You didn’t trust me to have your back. To trust that you weren’t alone in any of this, and to some sense, even with you doing all that you did, you weren’t.
I was.” I tapped my chest with my index finger and gave him a half ass smile.
“You know you aren’t innocent in all this, right?” he chuckled.
“I never said I was,” I replied, and he nodded. “We are guilty of the same thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Not trusting each other to be who we needed them to be,” I answered. “I had six months to think about everything. You know Berkeley is a therapist, right?”
“Blows my fucking mind,” he chuckled, and I couldn’t help but do the same.
“Right, but she’s good at what she does because she points out all the shit people refuse to acknowledge; she doesn’t let people move without accountability. We talked a lot, and each time I tried to blame you, she called my ass out.”
“Remind me to buy her a thank-you gift.”
“She has enough shit,” I said, shaking my head.
“She talked bad to my ass a few times. Told me I was being selfish for thinking this was all your fault. I sat down one day and just listened to her tell me what I didn’t want to hear, and after she was done, I cried on Spelman’s shoulder.
I hated to admit it, but she was right. We moved along the same path, doing the same shit, yet didn’t think to tell the other person. ”
“My problem was pride,” he chuckled, then wiped his hand over his mouth.
“I didn’t say shit to anyone because I didn’t want to admit I didn’t know what I was doing.
I thought I could watch you love a square nigga and be happy.
” He turned his head to look at me and gave me a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
“I was wrong as fuck. Even if Grant’s ass wasn’t tied into all this shit, I wouldn’t have been able to watch you love that nigga.
” His eyes went to my stomach. “Have his babies.” He licked his lips.
“If you would’ve been happy with him, I would’ve walked away. ”
“You know what hurts most out of all this?”
“Nah.” He lifted his eyes to look at me. “What?”
“We only got a few weeks of seeing what could’ve been our lives for those eight years I was married to Grant,” I answered.
My hand went to my stomach and felt my daughter kick.
“That was the happiest I think I’d ever been.
Spending time with you without having to pretend that we were just friends.
I was happy, Amethyst, and then it was snatched away from me.
I walked into my house with every intention of that being the last time I walked through those doors, and when I did, I was going home.
” My eyes swept the room. “I was going to come home to you, and our pig, and just be happy. I was going to tell you everything, and I knew that you’d handle it. ”
“Sunshine--”
“I never hated you.” I shook my head. “Was I mad? Absolutely. But I never hated you as a person. I just hated what you did. We’ve been friends for too long for you to do what you did.
You had people around you, people who knew you and what you were going through, and you sent me with people I didn’t know.
I woke up on that plane, in that bed with a damn note, and when I walked out of that room, four sets of eyes were watching me. ”
“I thought spending time with him and your sisters would make it hurt less,” he chuckled. “No lie, I just knew that y’all were going to hit it off.”
“And we did, after I stopped giving them the silent treatment because I was mad at you,” I laughed, and he smiled.
“They are one of the best things that ever happened to me, and that was because of you, but it was also the scariest. I didn’t have anyone in my corner, Amethyst. No you, no Consonance, nobody. ”
“I didn’t think about it like that.” He rested his head against the headboard.
“Consonance cussed me out so bad for that shit, too. I mean, read me the riot act every time we saw each other.” He smirked.
“She came over every damn day to cuss me out before she went to work. She didn’t care if I had just gotten off work or was on the way.
If I were out of town, she’d call me on her way to work and cuss my ass out.
I answered every time, too.” He shrugged.
“Even though I knew she was going to talk to me like I wasn’t shit, I answered because I couldn’t answer for you. ”
“Because she knew you were wrong, and so did you, which is why you let her cuss you out,” I laughed.
“I’m sorry, Sunshine,” he said.
I moved over so we were next to each other, and I rested my head on his shoulder. “I’m not.”