Epilogue
EPILOGUE
C ashlynn
Curiosity filled me as I followed Jackson through the steakhouse doors. We were in downtown Silver Stone and it was a little past eight in the evening. I looked around, noticing the dining room empty outside of a couple of staff.
Two weeks had passed since Neil was killed. Nazai had been taking his role seriously, making sure each brother ran their part of the business fluidly. He had taken one killing job since and the two of us argued when I wanted to accompany him. I ended up staying at home after he reminded me of how my stomach became upset when he killed Neil. It pissed me off but made sense. Morning sickness was still kicking my ass every morning. My doctor had called in some medication to help me so I hoped it would take effect soon.
I paused when I noted Nazai in the center of the empty room sitting at a table. A pink, off the shoulder dress and clear heels were sitting on my bed when I got out of the shower with a note telling me to get dressed and Dante would be waiting for me within the hour. As far as I knew, we didn’t have anything planned when it came to engagements, so I was confused.
My eyes scanned the dining room again before falling back on my husband who was now standing with a smirk on his face. Swallowing hard, I slowly walked toward the table.
“Good to see you following directions, wife,” he said, approaching me. My eyes narrowed. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me closer.
“Nazai, what is going on? Why is this place empty?” My nose scrunched while my stomach growled at the sweet aroma coming from the kitchen a couple of feet away.
Nazai leaned down and kissed me. “Can’t a man rent a restaurant out to spend time with his wife?”
My eyes widened and my mouth parted. “What do you want?” I asked.
His grin broadened. “You always think I’m up to something.” He bent his neck and pecked my nose, then my lips.
“Sit down.” Releasing me, Nazai pulled the chair out and I watched him as I slowly took a seat. He rounded the table and took his original seat back.
On the table was a single rose in a vase between us. A bottle of apple juice and a glass of water with a lemon inside were in front of me while Nazai had water and a glass of brown liquid.
“Go ahead and look at the menu, the server should be back soon.” Still confused on what this was, I wasn’t going to argue with him. This baby had already begun increasing my appetite and it had only been a few hours since my last meal, yet I felt like it had been days.
“This baby has me wanting damn near everything,” I mumbled as I eyed the entrees.
“Then get everything. Whatever you want.” I diverted my attention up, gazing at him over my menu.
“Do you want me to blow up like a balloon?”
Nazai flashed me a crooked grin. “Wouldn’t matter to me either way.”
Rolling my eyes, I went back to the menu. I was stuck between the barbeque baked chicken and NY strip. The server came to the table. “Mr. Tavarez, here are the appetizers you requested. Are you two ready to order?”
I lifted my eyes and watched him drop jumbo shrimp, calamari, potato skins, and some kind of dip.
“Give us a few minutes,” Nazai said, barely giving the middle aged man a glance.
“Yes, sir.” He nodded, turning and walking off.
I eyed the food. Everything looked good and my mouth watered. “Why did you order so much?”
“You need to keep my baby fed.”
I pressed my lips together tightly. Nazai was a helicopter dad already and I was still in the beginning stages. He made sure I ate three times a day and didn’t allow me to do anything strenuous. We even argued about me going to the gun range. Some might have seen it as sweet, but I found it worrisome most days.
Rolling my eyes, I reached for my water and took a sip. I set the glass down and grabbed a shrimp, already tasting it before I bit into it.
We didn’t speak at first. By the time the server came back, I had finished the shrimp and was working on a potato skin. I ended up ordering the garlic NY strip with loaded mashed potatoes and steamed lemon broccoli. Nazai got the T-bone steak and lobster mac and cheese with a loaded sweet potato.
“This is nice, huh? Just the two of us together. I don’t think we’ve had a moment like this since our wedding night,” Nazai said once it was just the two of us.
“I don’t get why we’re here though.”
“Can’t a man just take his wife on a date. Since we’ve been married, our lives have constantly been on the go. Now we can enjoy married life.” He lifted his glass of liquor and took a sip.
A date? My brows scrunched. It was the first time I had ever been on one. When it came to Nazai, I was learning to trust him more, but I wasn’t raised to be domestic. So all of this was foreign.
“I’ve never been on a date before.” I shifted in my seat.
“I know. My mom informed me that since you’re carrying my child, I should be more accommodating to you and show you that I appreciate the changes your body is about to go through.” He paused and laughed to himself while shaking his head. “So consider this my appreciation.”
My heart did an erratic dance inside me and my stomach flooded with heat. It still took me some time to accept when Nazai spit nice things my way.
“Thanks,” I muttered, tugging on the corner of my bottom lip with my teeth. “Me and the baby appreciate it.”
Sometimes I still resented Nazai for forcing me to get pregnant when I made my stance on it clear, other times I pictured myself as a mother and how my baby would look. I was starting to come to terms with things. Carson now knew about the baby and was excited to become an uncle. Nazai’s parents were on board, as well as his brothers, including Emmet. He still rarely spoke to me but he did congratulate us.
“You look to be deep in thought. What’s going through that wicked little mind?” Nazai asked. Another thing about him was he watched me a lot. Sometimes it felt like I never had a thought to myself when he was around. Oddly, I didn’t mind it. No one had ever paid this much attention to me before without having ill intentions.
“Just thinking about how different the baby will grow up compared to how I did. Your family already seems to be in love with it and I’m still early on.”
For a second, my stomach knotted. I didn’t have anyone but Carson in my corner to celebrate this with and it was bittersweet at times. Nazai’s family was so close and I’d never experienced that before.
“ Our family,” he stressed. “Our family is excited about this baby. You’re carrying the next generation of greatness, Wildfire. A legacy is growing within you and that’s something to be excited about.” When I didn’t respond, he continued. “Are you excited too?”
My head snapped back as if I had been struck. “What?”
“When you first learned about the pregnancy you weren’t happy.”
“I wonder why?” My eyes narrowed, but he smiled.
“It needed to be done.” He shrugged. “But do you still feel the same?”
I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking about his question. “It’s starting to grow on me,” I started. “Knowing I’m about to be a mom is still unsettling, but I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now, is there?”
“Damn right about that. Once that positive word popped on the screen, your fate was sealed.” I frowned and this time reached for the apple juice.
“I never saw myself as a mother. My only goal was to take care of my brother and keep him safe. Knowing I’m about to have to do that again, but this time with someone I birthed, scares me and that’s not easy to do, but I’m terrified I’m going to fuck this up.” Maybe the baby was causing me to be more open than I was used to, but for the past few weeks I’d been internally battling whether or not I was meant for this.
“You didn’t run when Neil and Maddox were taken care of, why?”
I balled my face up. “Because you threatened to track me down and kill my brother.”
“I believed that was the case at first, but now I think it’s more than that.”
Something appeared on Nazai’s face that made the knot in my stomach grow. Casting my eyes down at my plate, I poked the half-eaten potato skin with my fork. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well, wife, I believe you finally realized I’m not your enemy. At times some of my actions may be questionable, but it’s only because I know you can handle it. You’re not some soft woman that needs to be handled with kid gloves, yet at the same time you are.”
Lifting my eyes back to face him, I started to argue, but he held his hand up. “I don’t mean that you’re weak, but simply that you still have a lot to learn when it comes to allowing people to get close to you. Sometimes I see that wall breaking and you let me in, but then there’s still times where you’re guarded and ready to attack. Yet, I believe you’re starting to trust your husband and see that I am on your side. You didn’t feel the need to run like you did in the beginning because now you’re more comfortable with bringing our baby into the world knowing you’re not in this fight alone, but you have someone to fight alongside or even for you.”
My stomach ended up doing flips as the room suddenly became too hot. I tried not to be so open. I had been groomed to not wear my emotions on my sleeve but it seemed I had grown too comfortable around my husband, causing me to expose my feelings without any actions.
“Tell me I’m right?” He pressed, staring at me over the rim of his glass.
Swallowing hard, I jutted my chin upward as my heart pounded inside of me viciously. I had reservations about opening up to Nazai after what he did to me at the barn that day, but since then Nazai had shown me that I could be open with him and it wouldn’t be used against me. When I openly revealed what I did to my parents and why, he comforted me and brought me a security I hadn’t felt, ever.
Scraping my bottom lip with my teeth, I balled my fists on the table. My lungs threatened to fail as they took in air.
“In a way, I guess you are,” I finally admitted. “You helped me take care of Maddox and Neil. Your dad is helping me gain custody of my brother. You went to bat for me when it was clear your whole family didn’t approve of us.” My eyes lowered and my throat tightened. “I never had anyone do that for me before.” My words came out in a whisper. “No one ever defended me or stood up for me. I always had to be strong and the protector and I…” I inhaled a deep breath and closed my eyes, suddenly feeling pressure building behind my eyelids. “I didn’t want to go back to that. I can’t go back to that. I’ll never be the perfect submissive housewife, nor will I ever just bow down and do what I’m told.” That brought a smirk on Nazai’s face. “But you said that we were in this together, that you would take on my burdens, and I’m trying to believe that.”
My skin felt itchy and my muscles twitched. It felt like I had been cracked open for all to see as I spoke the truth. I had never experienced a relationship before Nazai and I didn’t even know how to have one but he didn’t seem to care. It was clear he liked how things between us were going. It wasn’t easy for me not to worry because growing up that was all I ever experienced. But being with Nazai showed me that maybe, just maybe , those times were behind me.
The server came with our meals, halting the conversation, which I was grateful for. I didn’t like being so seen. My nerves were racing and my mind ran a million miles a minute. I needed something to distract me and help me stay grounded for the time being.
____
Nazai
I tabled the conversation when the food came, saying a quick prayer so the two of us could eat. I watched my wife, possibly more than most would deem normal, but I had learned things about her that gave her away in ways I wouldn’t have in the beginning. Right now it was clear she was uncomfortable. She hadn’t glanced toward me since the food had come out. Her body and movements were tense.
Renting out this restaurant and bringing her was mostly selfish. I didn’t want anyone else to have my wife’s attention but me. We had made major breakthroughs in the months we’d been married, but I still found there were some walls we still needed to climb, like her inability to express her love. Since being with her, I had heard her express it to Carson once and it was late at night when she went into his room to turn his TV down after he’d fallen asleep.
I wanted to tell her when we found out she was pregnant weeks back, but she wasn’t ready to hear it. What I felt for Cashlynn might surpass love, it was like I craved her, everything about her, from her smile, to her curses and anger. The crazy and impulsive side to the withering mess she became when my dick was buried deep inside her. I wanted it all to the point where I didn’t want her thoughts to be her own without me knowing them. My goal when we got married was to break and tame her, now it was to keep her. She still fought me. The pregnancy seemed to intensify that burning inside her, causing her to be more impatient than normal. She was also more sensitive than I’d even seen her too. I never knew which mood I would get nowadays.
“Cashlynn,” I called out toward the end of our meal.
Unhurriedly, her eyes lifted to meet mine. They were guarded and distant.
“Do you believe me when I say I don’t ever want to change you?”
Stiffly, she nodded, blinking slowly.
“And do you believe that no matter how much you fight it, I’m going to always push back to make you follow my lead?”
Again, she nodded, this time her eyes cut into slits, causing one corner of my mouth to rise.
“Then also believe that as long as there’s breath in my body, I will never allow you to fight any battle alone again. I don’t want a soft, compliant wife because there’s no fun in that. One of the main reasons I can’t get enough of you is because you challenge me and I never want that to change. Any threat toward you? We’re handling that shit together because you know it turns me on to you see do your thing, baby.” I licked my lips and her cheeks flushed. “I know you’re not ready to say it, but I’m ready to tell you. I love you, probably fell in love with you the night of our wedding when I saw your blood coating my?—”
“Okay, I get it!” She cut me off with a flustered expression on her face, causing me to chortle. “And no one besides Carson ever told me they love me before, how do I know…” Her words trailed off and her eyes averted from mine.
“That it’s true?” Still, without looking, she nodded.
My heart tugged as I thought about the trauma my wife had experienced. It made me want to dig up her parents and kill them all over again, but this time slowly so they suffered.
“Because… even if you discount my words, then look at my actions. You know I don’t tell you shit I don’t mean, but if that’s not enough, then just watch me, baby. You think I be ready to go toe to toe with my family over just anyone?”
A smile tugged at her lips but she still refused to meet my eyes. “I don’t know when I’ll be able to say it back. What if I’m not even able to tell our child?” This time she did face me and fire burned in her orbs. Her mouth turned upside down and her nostrils flared.
“I don’t think that’ll be an issue. You’re stubborn as shit so I know you’ll be able to push past your hang-ups eventually, and until then, if hearing it from me is what you need to help, then I gotchu.”
Cashlynn released a heavy breath and fidgeted with her hands.
“Are we doing dessert this evening?” the server asked.
I looked toward Cashlynn for an answer but she shook her head. “Nah, we’re good. Just bring the check.”
“Yessir.” He nodded, turning to leave.
I licked my lips and glanced at the black box that had been sitting next to me all night. Pushing back from the table, I picked it up and went around to the other side.
“What are you doing?”
“Just trust me.” I set the box down and her eyes went to it. Confusion was plastered all over her face. Digging into my dress pants pocket, I grabbed the key to her collar and reached for it.
“What are you doing?” Her hand went to my wrist in a panic when I placed the key inside. Ignoring her, I unlocked and removed the collar for the first time in over three months. There was a slight tan mark from where it used to be, making the area lighter than the surrounding skin.
“Nazai.” She rubbed the now empty area. I watched her to see how she would react to the gesture.
“Why?” Her voice shaky and airy as she squinted.
“When I first put that on you, it was a sense of entrapment. While I still want you and everyone to know that you’re mine, I think the meaning of the collar has changed.” I reached for the black box and opened it.
Cashlynn’s mouth dropped and her brows shot to her hairline seeing the diamond collar. The base was made of white gold and diamonds covered it. Hanging from it was a charm that had NT just like the nipple rings I had pierced her with.
“Did you have to include your initials?”
I smirked and brought it to her neck.
“Of course, wife. Everyone has to know who you belong to.”
“I’m not your property,” she muttered, bringing her hands to the collar and brushing it lightly.
My dick filled with blood seeing my initials hanging from her throat.
After securing the collar, I moved my hand up and cuffed her hair. I gripped it tightly, forcing her head back. Leaning over, I inhaled her heavy breathing, loving the blazing passion now in her eyes.
“And that’s where you’re wrong, Wildfire. Everything about you, from the baby growing inside you to the air you breathe to the fight inside you belongs to me. There will never be another who will ever say they have ties to you.”
“Same goes for you,” she breathed out. Her chest rose and fell quickly.
I grinned. “Of course.”
“Because you know what will happen if you ever tried to be with another woman.”
My dick grew harder and my pulse raced.
“Tell me… tell me what would happen.” My mouth was now inches from hers.
Cashlynn reached up and gripped my beard. “I’ll kill both of you, slowly and painfully, using my knife.”
Smiling harder, I crashed my mouth into hers. She moaned and slanted her face a tad to give me better access when she opened her mouth for me.
Cashlynn might have felt love wasn’t for her or that she wasn’t capable of handling it, but she was wrong. Her actions proved to me every day that she loved me more than she allowed herself to see.
The end!