CHAPTER NINE
T HE TAVERN WAS clean and rustic and Tomas had liked it well enough when he’d stayed there before. Innkeeper Bain met them at the door several hours after midnight, sparing a swift glance for the sleepy, silent Claudia and a longer one for the eagle as he led them up the stairs and along a dimly lit corridor to the room Tomas had stayed in before.
‘Fire’s lit and we made up a couple of perches for your birds after last time. Don’t know if they’re the sort you usually use—Caitlin and Balo put their heads together and came up with them. You’d have thought they were making a throne, the time and care they put into it.’ Pride laced his voice.
Tomas transferred Alhena to the tall, sturdy perch and removed the hood to let her survey her new surroundings. He’d put it back on soon enough, once he tethered her for the night. The bath pan below the perch was empty, but it was a nice touch.
‘You know, if it’s capital you need in order to bring in paid help in order to free Caitlin up so she can follow her dreams, I have it to spare. You’re never going to lose her completely. She loves you and she’s part of the fabric of this place. She could apprentice to me through the day, a four-day week even, I’d make that concession for her and for you, and she would return to you at night.’
‘Has she asked this of you?’
‘I asked her a general question about interviewing for an apprenticeship with me. She wouldn’t even consider it. Said you needed her more.’
‘Everyone has childhood dreams of becoming something fancy.’
‘That they do, Innkeeper.’ Claudia entered the conversation gently. ‘You must be so proud of your daughter for the answer she gave my fiancé. I know I would be. And a little bit sad about that answer too.’
The man didn’t seem to want to look at her. She had that effect on people sometimes, when she chose to cut straight to the heart of things.
‘There’s bread and cheese on the table, wine and water as well, and stew downstairs if you want it reheated. I wasn’t sure,’ he muttered.
Claudia shook her head, so Tomas answered for them both. He was hungry but not that hungry. ‘Thank you, no. This is good.’
‘You’ll be wanting breakfast too, I suppose. Downstairs like before?’
‘Up here,’ said Claudia before Tomas could answer. ‘Please.’
The innkeeper nodded and headed for the door. ‘Think that’s all.’
There was one other thing. ‘We want to get married tomorrow,’ Tomas told him. ‘Are you available to perform the service?’
The grizzled older man turned back towards them but barely raised a brow. ‘I need two weeks’ notice to get the paperwork in order. It’s the law.’
‘The paperwork will be waived.’
‘Never heard of that happening.’
‘Trust me,’ Tomas murmured. He had a king in his pocket. ‘It can be done.’
‘In that case, m’lord, I’m available.’
Claudia chose that moment to lower the hood of her dusky blue travelling cloak. The material was a coarse woollen weave, nothing special. Her face, however, could stop a man’s breath. Unless Bain had been living under a rock lately, he would know who she was. ‘Thank you, Innkeeper,’ she murmured. ‘I didn’t catch your name.’
‘Bain, m’la—Your Gr—Royal... Princess... God .’
Claudia smiled. ‘That’s quite an escalation, but don’t worry about it. I’ll write my name out in full for you for tomorrow.’ She nodded towards Tomas. ‘His too.’
Bain bowed and nodded at the same time. ‘Thank you, Princess. I’m just going to...get you better wine.’
‘Don’t bother,’ Tomas told him. ‘You can expect a team of guards to roll in soon. They’ll station themselves around the tavern tonight. You might want to warn people.’
Bain pulled out a set of old-fashioned door keys. ‘Let me just make sure the second bedroom is open for your use.’
‘Plausible deniability, how thoughtful ,’ murmured Claudia. ‘Thank you so much. Your service is impeccable.’
‘It would have been even more impeccable had we known you were coming. Will any other guests be joining your wedding party tomorrow?’
‘They will,’ said Claudia smoothly. ‘Discretion is required.’
He closed his eyes and ran his hand across his face. Squinted at them from between his fingers before dropping his hands to his sides. ‘You’re still here.’
Tomas sighed. ‘Yes.’
‘Discretion it is.’ Innkeeper Bain made it through the door and shut it firmly behind him.
‘We should marry here. At the inn,’ declared Claudia.
‘It’s more of a tavern.’ She hadn’t seen the downstairs bar yet.
‘It’ll be a wedding venue before he knows it.’
Tomas couldn’t help but smile. ‘That’s just cruel.’
She headed for the table and unwrapped a block of hard cheese from within a waxy cloth and took a knife to it. ‘It’s soft cheese I shouldn’t be eating while pregnant.’ She nibbled an edge. ‘I think this is Cheddar.’ She slipped a slice between a bread roll and bit in, before loosening her cloak and draping it over a chair by the fire. ‘This is a nice room. Lived in. Not quite as nice as my tent, but acceptable.’ She took another bite and studied a faded painting on the wall.
She hadn’t always lived as a princess. She didn’t mind taking her meals in Lor’s kitchen. He needed to keep reminding himself of those facts or he’d go mad thinking that she’d never be satisfied with his version of normal. ‘I’m a plain man,’ he warned.
‘You’re definitely not that plain. Possibly a little deluded, though.’
He tried again. ‘I like plain things.’
Her mouth was full but her eyebrows spoke volumes.
‘You, of course, are not plain at all,’ he added quickly. ‘What I mean is that I don’t want to live a fancy life. A simple one will do, and I’m not sure that’s going to suit you.’
She took her time swallowing her food. ‘Because I’m a princess, and princesses can’t live simply?’
‘Yes.’ Why did he feel as if he was eleven years old all over again, telling her she couldn’t be a falconer? He’d been wrong about that. Maybe he could be wrong about this too.
‘Have I been living lavishly at the fortress?’ she asked. ‘Redecorating? Insisting on formal dining? No. I eat in Lor’s kitchen as often as you do.’
‘And then there’s your princess clothes,’ he offered heavily. There was absolutely no arguing about those. ‘Can I afford to keep you in clothes? I’m thinking no.’
‘My official clothing requirements are covered by the Crown. All part of the job description for the Princess Royal. But when I come looking for you at the aviaries, how am I dressed?’
‘Simply.’ He had to admit that.
‘And you haven’t seen me of a morning lately. Be warned—my morning sickness is brutal. Why do you think I’m cramming this food down now? Because I’m practical and I like good plain food, a warm fire and a clean bed. I think it’s time that you put your thoughts about us not sharing similar values behind you. Deal?’
‘Done.’ He took a deep breath and recommitted to the path he’d chosen for them both and dug for the inner strength and confidence required to walk it. ‘So.’ He shed his coat, emboldened by the way her gaze lowered to the snug fit of his trousers and his plain cotton shirt that did have a few buttons at the neck but otherwise pulled on and off like a T-shirt. Very plain. Possibly flattering, according to the sudden appreciation in her eyes. ‘We have no nightwear.’
She arched one single elegant brow. ‘Surely you have a spare shirt somewhere.’
Such a long way to go to the car and get his duffel and bring it in. ‘No.’
‘Well, then.’ She removed her cloak and placed it over a nearby chair, and then set her socks and boots beside it. Tidy. Her embroidered shift followed and then her trousers. He didn’t look away as she sauntered towards the bathroom. ‘I think Alhena should sleep in the other room, don’t you? Wouldn’t want to disturb her.’
‘I can sort that.’
‘Will you be showering before bed too?’
‘And then joining you in bed, naked. Yes.’
She slid him a brilliant smile. ‘Perfect.’
Only when she’d disappeared from view did he put his hands to his face much as the innkeeper had done. She’d been outfoxing him from the moment she’d seen him again and he showed no signs whatsoever of gaining the upper hand. But he had a true heart, his course was set, and his bed skills had pleased her last time around. If he could keep his head in that regard, reduce her to a quivering wreck first , maybe there was hope for him.
He crossed to the eagle. ‘I’m going to pick up your stand with you still on it and put you in the other room. No protest, now, you’ll like it. And tomorrow I’ll take you downstairs and introduce you to Caitlin and Balo. You’ll like that too.’
The eagle stayed quiet for him as he set her up in the adjoining room and tied her off. To call her an attack bird was doing her a disservice, given her placid nature. She’d been with him for over seven years and he’d been putting potential mates before her for the past three. She liked being around people too much to pay attention to any of that, though. Alhena the star had quite forgotten how to be a bird.
That or she was excessively picky. Emotionally unavailable, much like he had once been, but look at him now. Getting married tomorrow and all that. Rushing in to stake his claim and protect, protect, protect what was his.
He was shirtless by the time he returned to the main bedroom. He was completely naked by the time he reached the shower cubicle.
Claudia smiled and moved aside to let him enter.
He took his place, every nerve alive and reaching.
And let the future in.
Claudia loved it when Tomas took charge. She needed him to take control in order to surrender. No more thinking or planning or trying to stay one step ahead and be safe. She was already safe with this beautiful man, and with that came the freedom to follow wherever he led. She closed her eyes as the kiss they shared deepened, relearning the taste of him and the warm expertise of hungry lips. He lifted a hand to the back of her neck, his thumb below her jaw, the better to tilt her head, and there was a sensuality about him, a willingness to let pleasure rule, that left her flushed and breathless.
He took the soap from her and placed her hands on his chest. He soaped up his hands and started at her fingertips, and then the vee between her fingers. He circled her wrists and kissed her as he worked soap up her arms and over her shoulders. She shuddered into him when his hands cupped her breasts, gentled by slick suds as warm water rained down her back.
Her nipples pebbled for him, and it wasn’t just because his skilled fingers were attentive. It was him. Her Tomas.
He turned her so she could lean back against him as he took the shower hose and directed it to remove the soap on her arms and breasts and then he moved the pressure lower, and between the water and his fingers coaxed her to swift orgasm.
‘Cheat,’ she murmured when she’d recovered breath to speak.
‘I’ll make it up to you.’
She took her leave a short time later while he got clean, but not before she let her gaze linger over his erection. ‘That’s for me, right?’
He gave himself a leisurely stroke, his eyes never leaving her face. ‘Yes.’
‘And you won’t be long? Because all I’m going to do is be in bed trying to arrange my body to best advantage. That’s going to drive me mad with indecision in very short order.’
She’d made him smile. Impossible not to feel smug about that.
‘On your back, hands beneath the pillow.’
She could do that. ‘And my legs?’
‘Apart.’
But of course.
He put his face to the spray and she put her mind to drying off and pushing back the bedclothes. Wouldn’t want to obstruct his view.
He took her to pieces all over again once he finally joined her. Generous with his tongue and touches in all the right places and when he finally entered her she could no longer keep her hands to herself, weaving them in his hair and putting all her joy and hopes for them into a kiss that brought tears to her eyes.
‘I dreamed of you,’ she murmured when he broke the kiss and rolled his hips and made her gasp. ‘Soon as I saw you after all those years away, I started dreaming of being spread open beneath you and feeling so cherished.’
‘Are you feeling cherished yet?’ He set his lips to the tender skin of her neck and she was so close to orgasm she could almost reach the stars.
‘I am.’ And then he rolled her atop him and put the pad of his thumb to her centre and surged up into her with those strong, muscular thighs and she closed her eyes and surrendered. ‘I’m feeling everything.’
When she clenched around him and stilled his hand and brought it to her stomach, he tumbled after her.
Mornings were hell. This was Claudia’s reality. Not even a night of bliss and a soundly sleeping Tomas at her side could alter that reckoning. She slid from the bed and made it to the bathroom without retching but she was glad to shut the door behind her. She clung to the basin, head down and begging for her nausea to recede before glancing at her reflection in the mirror. Bird’s nest dark hair, pale face, and redness on her neck where Tomas’s facial hair had rasped her skin. He had no beard but he must have to shave every day. Soon she would know many such personal details.
Husband. She touched the extra colour around her nipples. He’d used her incredibly sensitive breasts to ruthless advantage last night and she’d loved every bit of it.
Father. Her father had not been a kind man. Tomas’s father, for all his sternness and adherence to rules, had been patient, protective and kind, and Tomas would be too. He would be the kind of parent every child deserved. Her hand went to her still flat stomach. All she needed to concentrate on right now was bringing this baby safely into the world and being a decent wife to an honourable man who would never have chosen to marry her if not for the way she’d pushed.
‘Work with it,’ she whispered to her reflection. Hadn’t that been her motto for all the long years she’d spent in exile? Make it work for everyone involved. She took a deep breath and stood up straighter and summoned a smile.
C’mon, Claudia, where are you? You don’t have to be loved to be happy. You don’t even have to be especially wanted as long as you’re useful to have around. You can be useful, can’t you? Just do it and don’t think too much about what could have been. Just make the most of whatever you’re given.
There you are, girl. Don’t fail me now.
Claudia the unwanted child, the resourceful survivor, the woman who, for all her faults, had never hardened her heart against hope. Bravado too would see her through, because she had plenty of that. Bravado and hope.
‘It’s the best way forward for all of us,’ she murmured and sealed the deal with a nod.
And promptly doubled over and lost the contents of her stomach.
By the time she poked her head around the bathroom door, Tomas was up and dressed and the fire was crackling in the hearth. His dark eyes searched her face, a frown between his eyes.
‘I used the bathroom in the other room,’ he said. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘I’m pretty good by mid-afternoon, but most mornings are a bit rough. Would you mind passing me my clothes?’
He moved gracefully for such a big man.
‘They’re bringing breakfast,’ he said as he gathered up last night’s clothes and gave them to her. ‘I ordered everything.’
‘I hope you’re hungry enough for two then, because I’m making no promises when it comes to keeping anything down.’
‘Is that normal?’
‘Apparently.’
‘Is there anything else you need?’
Where did she begin? This was her wedding day, after all.
‘I can ask people to bring your belongings here. I can go and get them.’
‘No!’ She took a deep breath and promptly swallowed hard on a fresh wave of nausea. ‘No leaving me.’ And boy, was it going to take a world of therapy to unpack that little outburst. ‘I can make do. We discussed this last night. I’ll be out in a minute.’
She dressed quickly and braided her hair and made good on her promise to emerge from the bathroom. She’d only taken a few steps before there was a knock on the door and a cheerful girlish voice called out, ‘Breakfast!’
What was the young woman’s name again? Kaity? Catherine?
The girl breezed in when Tomas opened the door, carrying a laden tray piled high with food. ‘Da said to make it an extra special tray. He even wanted me to pick flowers, but you try finding roses in the mountains at this time of year, and besi—’ The young woman stopped abruptly, her lips forming a perfect O to match her startled eyes. She tried to curtsey, tray and all. The tray tilted and rattled alarmingly until Tomas rescued it and set it on the sideboard.
‘Morning, Caitlin. Meet my fiancée.’
‘Your—? That’s the Princess Royal!’ whispered Caitlin.
‘And also my fiancée.’
Caitlin slid him a beseeching glance and nervously smoothed her apron skirt. ‘What are the words? What do I call her?’
‘ Your Royal Highness the first time you see her, and if you see her again the same day you call her ma’am .’ He was quiet with his directions, no fuss, and it seemed to steady the young girl.
If Claudia hadn’t already been besotted with him, his behaviour these past twenty-four hours would have made her so.
‘Your Royal Highness, ma’am!’
‘And now stand up,’ murmured Tomas, and Claudia wanted to put the girl at ease too, the way Tomas had, but the rich smell of cooked sausage and bacon was her undoing. She barely managed a nod before bolting to the bathroom and starting with the stupid morning sickness all over again. It didn’t matter to her brain or her stomach that there was nothing left to bring up. She would go through the motions anyway until her throat burned with the sour taste of stomach acid and she felt like a wrung-out rag.
An eon later, when she slid to her knees and leaned her head against her forearm on the toilet bowl, she saw a damp wash cloth dangling in front of her.
The hand holding the cloth didn’t belong to the girl.
Tomas settled on the floor beside her and lifted her into his arms as if she weighed barely anything at all. She tucked her head beneath his chin, too embarrassed and grateful for words.
‘I sent the breakfast away.’
‘Thank you. The smell...’
‘I figured.’
‘She’ll guess I’m pregnant.’
He made a humming noise that might have been agreement. ‘Is that something you want to hide?’
‘I’m undecided.’ Part of her wanted everyone to know now that Tomas knew, so she could go about changing her life to fit the circumstances. Part of her knew her reputation would take a hammering and it would reflect badly on the royal family—best to get it over with. And then there was Tomas’s reputation and new position to think of. ‘Do you want me to pretend I’m not pregnant until we’ve been married a while?’
‘I think we’re past that.’
Who knew pragmatism could be so attractive?
‘Let’s just shape our lives and the life of our child to best advantage. No lies, we’re just doing things our own way. Why wouldn’t we marry with a baby on the way?’ he continued.
‘Do you really want to do this?’ She was having second thoughts. That or her earlier thoughts were back to haunt her. ‘You’ll be trapped and resentful.’
‘I’ll be grateful and do everything in my power to prove my worth as a husband and father. You keep telling me I’m good enough to stand with you, so get out of my way and let me fight for us. I’m ready. Besides, I’m not the only one here whose life has been turned upside down.’ His voice had grown gruff. ‘Yours has been upended too. You get to bear this child, ready or not. You get me for a husband, whether you want me or not.’
‘I’m ready.’ Her love for the child growing in her belly was already a fierce and twisty force. ‘I want it all. Anyone who says you’re not good enough to stand at my side is going to get schooled on the many reasons why they’re wrong . I’ll slay all those demons and I’ll make you a believer, see if I don’t.’
‘Funny. You don’t look all that fierce, curled up here in my arms.’
The steady beat of his heart beneath her ear seemed like a good start. She closed her eyes and let herself relax. People thought she didn’t have nerves or insecurities. Even her brother saw her as some kind of indestructible force and, right or wrong, she tried to live up to the hype.
‘You know how we’re talking about our insecurities...’
‘I heard you talking about mine .’
Dry as dust, this man who’d soon be hers for life.
‘I have some too. People think I’m strong and fierce because I want to make a difference in this world and I’m prepared to make enemies along the way,’ she mumbled into the well-worn weave of his shirt. ‘I know how to fight and wait and play the long game and win. And sometimes being that person is easy and sometimes I run on pure bravado. I need—’ you , her helpful voice supplied, but she could be more specific, and less ‘—I would love to have someone who can lend me their strength when mine runs out. I’d weep with relief to know that you too will have our baby’s best interests at heart. I can let go and know you’ll do everything in your power to keep us safe. That’s a gift I’ve never had before and I’ll give it the respect it deserves.’
‘I won’t fail you.’
‘I can be strong again. I will be. I won’t always feel so low.’ She closed her eyes and soaked up his warmth.
‘And I’ll never think less of you for saying you need me,’ he murmured. ‘Say it as often as you like. My insecurities will thank you.’
Good to know their insecurities were compatible.
A soft knock sounded at the door of the outer room. ‘Ma’am and Lord Tomas? It’s Caitlin. I have two mugs of weak tea with some slices of lemon and ginger on the side. I’ll leave them outside the door and if you want them, good, and if you don’t, I’ll collect them later.’
Tomas rubbed his thumb over her shoulder in a gesture she found comforting. ‘Shall I tell her to bring it in?’
Claudia nodded.
‘Come through, Caitlin.’
Moments later, the girl was kneeling beside them in the bathroom. ‘My ma used to swear by lemon and ginger tea for soothing the stomach. The tea is Mrs Lee’s mountain blend. She’s Balo’s nonna . Balo’s the man I’m going to marry, but he doesn’t know that yet, so if you could keep it to yourself for another year or two while I grow up, I’d appreciate it. Is there anything you’d like me to keep to myself? Because I can. This old place sees its fair share of secrets. Da says not spilling any is as much a part of being an innkeeper as not spilling the drinks.’
Such earnest eyes.
‘I can see why you want Caitlin for your falcons, Tomas.’ Claudia leaned forward and added lemon and ginger to both mugs and picked one up before settling back against him and bringing the mug to her lips to take the tiniest sip.
‘Speaking of...’ Tomas had a gleam in his eyes. ‘Caitlin, there’s a golden eagle in the spare bedroom and a gauntlet on the bed. If you could take her downstairs and find a chair or another perch for her by the fire, I’d be grateful. She’s well behaved and enjoys watching people moving about.’
‘ Me? ’
‘You.’
‘And we need another suite of rooms for our guests this afternoon,’ he continued.
‘Da said we have incoming and to give them the best room we have, but you’re in it.’
‘Make this room up fresh and we’ll move to another,’ said Claudia. ‘Let’s aim to keep my brother in a good mood, hmm?’
Caitlin’s eyes grew impossibly round. ‘I—the King? And Queen Ana ? Here? As in today ?’
‘For our wedding,’ Tomas supplied gravely, and never again would she suspect him of not having the most sublime sense of humour. Caitlin was already on the move. ‘I guess your Da can keep a secret. Don’t forget the eagle. Her name’s Alhena.’
Ten minutes later, Claudia was almost halfway through her tea and they’d moved from the bathroom floor to the armchairs by the fire. For a woman on the morning of her wedding day she felt delightfully unbothered by details. The only detail that mattered was to marry the right man, and he was on the phone to Ildris, inviting him to their wedding through gritted teeth because she’d asked him to. She smiled into her cup when she heard him take it upon himself to ask Ildris to bring Alya too.
His future wife obviously valued them, and they owed her, he said next.
Maybe he’d learn to be a little less heavy-handed when it came to wielding power or maybe he’d never get the hang of it. Claudia was looking forward to a lifetime of brutal honesty, absolute trust and fireworks, no matter what. A pox on emotional containment. It was overrated.
‘What?’ he asked as he ended the call and pocketed his phone. ‘They’ll be here mid-afternoon. I told them they might have to share a room if they were staying on.’
‘So I heard. But, by my reckoning, Caitlin said there are six rooms in total, and if the King and Queen are in one, with Sophia in an adjoining room, Silas and Lor in another, and you and me in one, the count is only four rooms taken. Why would Ildris and Alya have to share a room?’
He smiled wickedly. ‘Never said I could count.’
This man. This life stretching out ahead of them.
Savour the moment, Claudia. Those funny, fleeting, happiest of moments.
They’ll sustain you.