Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
ASHLYN
Iwasn’t in control of anything. “That’s not what I meant.”
Only it was.
Something didn’t feel right. Maybe it was only my fear.
He sat there with me as if I hadn’t just taken something they found sacred.
“Why are you being so nice to me?” I couldn’t handle it. I certainly didn’t deserve it.
His eyes narrowed as he pulled himself upright. “Have you not seen how deeply I care for you?”
“You shouldn’t.” I couldn’t handle it.
“Tell me why I shouldn’t?” His voice grew softer.
I couldn’t.
“What were you going to tell me last night?” he asked.
“What I was going to tell you doesn’t matter, Fyn. I was drunk.” And had already said way too much. “I took from your stars.”
“I don’t care what you took,” he said.
“The things I say to you…”
A smile flashed on his face before it faded. “I expect nothing less from you.” His certainty was too much for me to handle.
“I’m sorry.” When I turned away from him, I closed my eyes. “I’m just so tired—too tired.” There was no knowing what would happen next, but I knew I couldn’t stay.
“Rest. There is nothing else we can know until the other healer arrives.”
When I awoke, a fae with grey-streaked raven curls hovered over me.
I jolted upright.
“It’s okay,” Wren said as she laid her hand on mine. “This is Lena. She’s a healer too.”
“Where is Fyn?” I searched the room for him, but only the two healers sat beside me.
“Your escort to Estlen arrived, Your Highness. He needed to set up lodging for them while they wait.” Wren looked to Lena.
“Why would they wait?” My heart thundered loudly as I realized how dark the space was.
“You’ve been asleep most of the day,” Wren said. “It is nearly nightfall.”
“No, that’s not possible.” Another wave of dizziness struck me when I sat up too fast.
Lena ran her fingers over my forehead. Her hands were so close she could have touched me, but she was careful not to. “It is very odd.”
“That’s what I thought too,” Wren said. “There are traces of starlight in your eyes—almost like…”
“The fae.” Their eyes all glowed even in the dimmest light. “What will happen to me?”
“The stars will decide your fate,” Wren said.
“I’m fine. I’m just exhausted. Nothing else is wrong with me.” An unnatural warmth spread down my back.
Lena’s eyes found Wren’s in the candlelight glow.
“And when will we know if anything else will happen?” I asked.
“Whenever the stars choose to make it known.” The door creaked open when Lena rose. “Come in, my lord.”
“I need a moment with Lord Fyn.” I needed his comfort, even if I wouldn’t ask for it.
“We will be making our way back into the village. There is nothing else that can be done for her,” Lena said.
“You’re certain?” Fyn asked.
“I am certain of nothing in regard to this. Her fate could still shift.” Lena exhaled heavily, her eyes looking to Fyn’s. “I encourage you not to make your journey until you see how it settles in her.”
“Thank you for your care,” Fyn said.
“Send for us if anything changes.” Wren pulled her bag from the side of the bed.
“Thank you.” I tried not to cry.
His gaze held on mine—utterly entranced when they left. “Your eyes are shimmering in a way they never have before.”
“What am I supposed to do? Estlen is expecting me. How do I explain the delay?” My hands shook. “Sorry, but I drank magic from the stars and now my eyes glow… but at least they’re not boring?”
“That would certainly go over well.” His voice cracked. “We should go back to the Heart. Rowena, your sister, Lioran… Someone has to know what can be done for you—what we need to look out for.”
I wouldn’t.
My feelings had already betrayed me, and I saw where it had led.
I was standing on the edge of humanity and freedom. I wasn’t done with it yet.
If we went back now, they’d never let me go to Estlen. My sister and Lioran would overrule my choice. “I need you to take me to Estlen, Fyn. Now.”
“Prince Soren thinks he’s considering a human princess, and you’re—”
“I’m human. Look at me,” I said.
“I’m looking,” he said. “Sure, you look human… but what if you’re not anymore?”
“No one has to know what happened here. As long as I look fine, I can still go. As long as I’m not…” I didn’t know what could even happen to me.
There was no use thinking about it for far too long. No good could come of it.
“If I take you into Estlen and something happens, then what? Humans don’t understand starlight—nor have they ever dealt with it. Normally I’m up for a whole lot of adventures… but I don’t like this,” he said.
“You don’t need to.”
His scoff echoed. “Just rest tonight. We’ll figure out the rest tomorrow.”
I couldn’t look into his eyes; I was too afraid I’d break from his stare.
“It may be the only place I ever belong. You can’t keep me here.” My voice grew softer. “I wanted to exist in Nythrel—to find my future here, but every passing moment it grows clearer that I won’t. I can’t even handle a night in a tavern.”
“I don’t think you were ever meant to survive in a tavern.”
“I’m serious, Fyn.” I needed to know that I could have what I longed for.
“I know.” His voice thinned.