Chapter 45
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
ASHLYN
Dirt slipped from my palms, but I didn’t rise.
I waited for him to follow me—for him to step through.
But he didn’t.
I reached toward the glittering light, desperate for him. But I heard his plea in my mind as if he had just given it.
I would keep my promise, even if it broke me.
He didn’t need me making it harder for him to cross.
I would wait.
Fyn would come for me.
Amber fragments of early morning light washed down on me where I sat in the grass near the divide. I couldn’t leave it.
A droplet rained down on me, and then another.
“Please, let him cross,” I cried as the rain seeped into my cloak. Water pooled down onto my cheeks from where the hood hung over my forehead.
The divide let me cross.
I had nothing but the clothes I was wearing and the key that hung around my neck.
I didn’t want to think about what any of that meant.
Hooves pounded the pebbled path that ran behind me.
“Ma’am, are you hurt?” A voice cried.
I wished it was Fyn’s. “I’ve lost…” Everything.
Everything I ever wanted was taken from me.
A fae male ran toward me. He wiped streaks of grease onto the tan apron that hung at an angle around his waist. “It’s you. You were with the fae lord. He was holding you. And you were—”
I looked up at him. “Lord Fyn? You know him?”
“Yes, the Chancellor. Have you been separated from him?”
“Yes.” Nothing had ever been more painful to say.
He extended his hand, but dropped it. “My name is Noam. I’d offer you my hand to help you rise, but I’d only dirty you,” he said. “Can I help you find your way to where you need to go?”
I was a princess who had run away from the human realm twice. There was nowhere I belonged.
I loved a fae lord who may be in prison in Estlen.
It was what I told myself, because I wouldn’t let my mind wander anywhere else. I would accept no other truth.
It didn’t matter if the starlight struck me down for it.
I thumbed the key around my neck.
“Would you happen to know a friend of Lord Fyn’s? His name is Jayln.”
“I don’t believe so, my lady,” he said. “There are many who travel the trade route here.”
“Are we close to Sygil?” I pulled my blade out of the grass as I rose, sliding it back into the sheath. When I stood, my legs quaked.
The man held his hand out as I stumbled. “You’re in it, my lady. The outer edges. It’s just a quick ride into town from here.”
“Could you take me to the inn?” It was then I realized I had no coin to pay for anything. Nothing of value, except maybe the metal that formed the key around my neck.
But that was my last tether to him.
I wouldn’t part with it.
“Gladly,” he said.
We rode as it rained again. Stopping only when we reached the familiar inn. He helped me down from the saddle.
And as my boots hit the dirt, I stumbled.
“You should get yourself a bite to eat,” he said.
I tried not to cry again as I nodded, tucking the key inside my riding tunic. “Thank you for your kindness.”
“It’s been my pleasure, my lady.” Noam turned away from me.
The village was quieter than I remembered it. The morning stir hadn’t begun. When I reached for the handle of the inn, the door opened inward.
Kylana peered at me from the other side. “Ash?”
“It’s good to see you.” My voice was too weak. “Do you know where I could find Jayln?”
The wet fabric from my hood clung awkwardly to my cheek. I peeled it back. I knew I must have been a sad sight the way she stared at me.
“He may be on the trade route to Estlen,” she said. “He had work there.”
“Oh, I…” I didn’t know what I would do.
“I don’t mean this rudely, but you look terrible.” She stepped back into the hall, straightening the apron around her waist. “Maybe you should come out of the rain and I’ll get you something to drink.”
“Thank you.” I was too numb to say anything else.
“I’m working in the kitchen today. I will let Hana know you’re here. Will Lord Fyn be joining you?” she asked.
I couldn’t stop crying once I started.
Kylana braced my arm. “Ash? What happened?”
“He...”
“Come, let’s get you inside.” Her voice grew softer. “The tavern hasn’t opened yet. I’ll get you something warm to eat.”
I followed her down the hall, too afraid to speak my truth. “I don’t have a way to pay for it.” My voice dropped. I was starving.
“We will find a way to make it work.” Her eyes watered like she knew there was a horror in what I wasn’t saying.
She gestured for me to sit at one of the tables in the tavern. The chair wobbled when I sat down in it.
I didn’t know if I deserved her kindness. “Is there a way to find out if Jayln has left yet? I really need to speak with him.”
“I’ll go see if Hana knows where he may be,” she said before she left me all alone.
I tugged at my hood, pulling the scarf from my hair. My blue waves fell free on my shoulders.
I loved him.
I loved him when it was too late to love him and didn’t even get to tell him one last time before we parted.
Kylana approached me slowly, clutching two bowls of something steaming.
“I like the hair,” she said as she placed the bowls on the table. “I split my breakfast in half.”
“Thank you.” She had no reason to be kind to me, but still she took pity on me. I was grateful for it.
A sweet smell rose from the bowl.
Damp strands of hair clung to my cheeks. I pulled them free and tucked them behind my ears.
“You’re human…” she said. “How are you here?”
“My sister lives in the Heart. You’ve probably heard of her before.” There was no good way to tell her.
She dropped her spoon, staring at me. “You’re the queen’s sister? Princess—”
“I am.” I picked it up and handed it to her. “Please, you can’t tell anyone I’m here.”
The irony hadn’t been lost on me. I had to trust the only person I had ever been jealous of. She could do whatever she wanted with the information. When word spread of what I had done—what Fyn had done, she’d know.
I didn’t have another choice.
“Hana said she heard Jayln was back in town. He was traveling north of here. She’s sent for him.”
“Thank you.” I scooped the warm oats into my mouth.
“Is Fyn okay?” Her words rushed out.
“He was helping me get home. We were separated. I don’t know.” My tears were falling too quickly to wipe them all away.
She looked to my bowl and then again to me. Her gaze softened as her eyes found mine. “My mother always said things were best solved when our stomachs are full. Eat if you can. And then, I can get you something dry to wear, if you wish it.”
I didn’t want to move, but I forced myself to eat. It was the only thing that would keep me upright a moment longer. “I can’t thank you enough.”
“Don’t say another word about it.” Her smile was strained as she ate beside me.
If Jayln didn’t come, I would have to find a way back to the Heart and hope that Lioran and Aelira would take pity on me.
I didn’t know if they would after I ruined everything.
I had risked Fyn.