Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
She woke up feeling like the underside of a used cardboard box. Her mouth felt like it was lined in cardboard, too.
It was just great.
She had slept well for being sprawled out on her sister-in-law’s couch, really, and she wasn’t all that sore.
But she crept out as early as possible, heading back to Painted Ridge so that she could take a shower in her own apartment and get dressed.
It was kind of funny that the first night she had all of her things, she hadn’t spent at home.
The conversation with Aiden was ringing in her head, and she was trying not to go over it. There was nothing valuable to get out of it. That was the problem.
That was the problem with letting go and ranting like she had.
It hadn’t accomplished anything. He didn’t feel bad. He felt justified. Nothing made that clearer than the way that he had acted surprised that she was upset he took the money. The way that he had told her with confidence that they got jobs because of him.
When she got out of the shower, she had a text from Cara.
Are you well?
I’m doing as well as can be expected. Showered and ready to meet up at Juniper and Sage in an hour.
She made coffee and decided to take it down to the lobby.
Again, enjoying the empty space. Soon, she would meet her chef, Laney, and the restaurant staff would be in, even before they opened, getting everything prepared.
Soon, there would be housekeeping, and she would be training employees for the front desk.
But there was this week of calm, and she desperately needed it. Since her nerves were anything but.
She finished her coffee, took her cup back upstairs, and let herself stand there in the solitude.
The truth was, she had never really lived by herself. She had either had a roommate in college or been with Aiden. Maybe she could enjoy that. This… New adolescence. She had felt that last night, walking by that bar. She had felt empowered, even. Because she could do whatever she wanted.
Again, she saw Cody.
Cody.
There was time. Time until everything opened, time until everything started running. Really, she was hardly his employee right now.
He was barely her boss at the moment. Except for the whole signing her paychecks and being in charge of whether she kept her job or not.
The rationalizing continued as she made arrangements with Cara, who was going to pick her up from the hotel, because she would be going to the cabins with Cody after they went to the bakery.
And she wouldn’t mind riding with him.
Was she engineering something? She liked to think not.
Maybe her motives were entirely innocent. Maybe her intentions were pure.
But the little kick of excitement between her legs, the intense feeling that made her limbs a little bit loose, told her that she was not pure of heart at all.
She probably wouldn’t do anything, though. Historically, she wasn’t very brave.
Historically, she found security and clung to it. Historically, she didn’t make big moves.
If she could give Aiden credit for one thing, it was that.
When she put down roots in a place, she wanted to stay in it forever. When she put down roots in a place, she wanted to keep them.
Aiden was the one who usually wanted to move on to bigger and more different things.
Standing here, on the other side of their relationship, with that conversation ringing in her head, it was hard to imagine they were ever together, much less for fifteen years. He was exemplifying everything she hated right now, and it was turning her into something she’d never wanted to be.
But when she’d met him, she’d been cautious and wounded, and he’d been fun and light.
He’d had a wonderful family who had embraced her from the first time she’d come over to their house, like caring for her was easy.
That had never been her experience at any other point in her life up until that point.
His infatuation with her had felt like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. It had made her feel safe, even while his enthusiasm and adventure-seeking had given her something wild. He was the personality. She was the organization.
She’d needed that when she was younger. She needed it less now, though, if she were honest. Their relationship had become lopsided. Her doing all this work, even while she’d grown in her own security and didn’t rely on him for every piece of her self-esteem.
He hadn’t grown, not at the same rate. The bar had highlighted a lot of their issues and disparities. Had fed into her doing all the organization while he’d been doing all the showmanship in the bar.
Because of him, they’d established a pattern of moving to new places when things felt stale, which was why she’d looked at the job in Oregon. She’d thought it might make things happy again.
Not because of her own adventurous nature, which was historically nonexistent. Given that, she supposed, she didn’t really have to worry that she would suddenly do something wildly impulsive.
It wasn’t in her repertoire.
But she did spritz a little perfume on before heading back down to the lobby to wait for Cara.
The walk to the bakery was beautiful, the path that had been made between the hotel and that building was lovely. Lined with flowers and padded with thick bark.
She could easily imagine taking her first cup of coffee down this trail, going to the bakery, getting a second cup of coffee, and one of Cara’s amazing pastries.
She imagined that every guest would be happy with that.
By the time she got there, Cara’s car was already there, along with a truck she didn’t recognize.
Cody wasn’t there yet. She felt a strange, sinking sensation in her stomach, and she told herself she was being ridiculous to be disappointed that she didn’t get to see him immediately.
Maybe because part of her knew that if she didn’t catch some kind of momentum with the feelings inside of her, she would never follow through with them.
You’re supposed to be glad that you wouldn’t follow through with them.
Oh right. There was that.
But it was difficult to remember.
Especially when she thought of him, and her heart started to beat faster.
She cleared her throat, the grounding sensation bringing her back to the present as she walked up to the cute little bakery and pushed the door open.
Cara was standing inside, mute, staring at…
Oh.
There was a man standing at the center of the room, taking measurements. His back was broad, like the side of a mountain. He was… Huge. He turned sharply when the door opened, and his eyes met hers.
“Hi,” he said, his voice flat. The greeting was perfunctory. Like he had given it only because he knew that he was supposed to.
He must be Zane.
“He’s making shelves,” Cara said, sounding almost dazed. “He has tools around back.”
“Oh. Right. I’m Marlowe,” she said, to the broad uncompromising back.
“Zane,” he grunted back, confirming her assumptions.
“Nice to meet you.”
He didn’t respond then. Unless the single, short laugh was a response. How was she to know?
“The place is really coming along nicely,” she said.
“I don’t need to make small talk,” he said. “Whatever you were going to do, feel free to do it. Act like I’m not here.”
It wasn’t the kind of friendly offer that usually came with that sentence. No. It was a command. Act like he wasn’t there so that he didn’t have to talk to them.
Well.
They ended up being rescued from the moment by Cody, which she found hilariously ironic, because a few days ago, she would never have said that he would be the friendly presence in any room. And yet. Now he seemed like a ray of golden sunshine.
More worryingly, he was that to her.
More worryingly, he lit something up inside of her, and made her feel…
Reckless, and a boss was not supposed to make you feel reckless.
No. That was bad. Very, very bad.
But there he was, tan cowboy hat on, his chiseled features making her heart kick into another gear, his very presence…
It made it difficult to breathe, but in a nice way. It was the strangest thing.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Morning,” both she and Cara said. Zane didn’t say anything.
“Grumpy ass,” Cody muttered, walking by his friend. “Is it looking good for you?” He directed the question at Cara.
“It’s amazing,” she said. “I ordered tables for the dining area, they should be here pretty soon. And then I’m going to set up a little patio area outside.”
“Sounds good,” he said.
“Yeah. I think it’s going to be amazing.” Cara exuded optimism. Sunshine. Cara exuded things that Marlowe didn’t think she could feel anymore. But she could feel other things.
Dangerous things.
Things that would lead absolutely nowhere good.
But things that she wanted to follow all the same.
“Do you have any special instructions for Zane?”
“Not really,” Cara said. “I trust him.”
“I haven’t even said three words to you,” Zane said, and she had a feeling that him chiming in was unusual.
“I just mean I trust you to build shelves. Don’t take that too far.”
He let out another short, gruff-sounding chuckle.
“Is there anything else you need in the kitchen?”
“I don’t think so.”
Cara walked through a door, and they both followed her into a spotless kitchen area with glossy chrome ovens and commercial dishwashers. “You got all of the things that I asked for, and all of the mixers, dishes, that kind of thing either came with me already, or I’m ordering new ones.”
“All right. Sounds great.”
“What’s your special going to be for your first day open?” Marlowe’s stomach growled just thinking about it.
“I think because it will be spring, lemon sweet rolls.”
Marlowe was ready to beg for those now. She couldn’t love much right now, but she loved those.
They were like a cinnamon roll – though there was no cinnamon, and instead of regular cream cheese icing, it was lemon. And there was lemon zest all in the middle, mixed with butter and sugar.
Cara had made them for Marlowe on more than one occasion, and they were favorites of hers.