Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
The ranch was doing brisk bookings for different excursions, for both guests and non-guests of the ranch.
The trail rides were incredibly popular, and even people staying a couple of hours away would come out to do the trail ride, particularly one that went up above Painted Ridge and offered occasional views of the Mustang herd.
For the last few weeks, Cody had spent almost every night with Marlowe. She had a girls’ night with Cara, but that was pretty much the exception to the rule.
He snuck in and out of so many entrances and exits at the hotel that he felt like one of the rats hiding out in the walls. But he didn’t mind.
She would do the same. Staying at his place and then making an effort to swan downstairs in her work clothes after sneaking in one of the fire exits.
It was fun. It was the kind of thing he’d never done before. He’d never… had a relationship before. He didn’t know if it was a relationship if you didn’t have a label, and if you didn’t have any intentions of it going anywhere.
The thought made his chest feel so sore. But there was no reason for the soreness. It was Wednesday, and a lighter guest day at the hotel, and he’d been toying with the idea of inviting Marlowe on one of the trail rides. He went on the occasional trail ride, though generally Nolan would lead those.
They were toying around with the idea of wilderness skills workshops, too, which is something that Zane would lead, but he feared that Zane would need a personality transplant. Even with that, he often went on the trail rides because it was like having search and rescue along with you. And a medic.
He texted Marlowe and asked if she could get away for the three o’clock trail ride, and she responded with an emoji that had heart eyes, which made him smile, and that kind of irritated him, because he felt like he should think it was silly. It was silly, he just didn’t feel like it was silly.
She showed up in jeans that hugged her pretty ass in ways he could only thank God for, and a tight tank top that made him want to drag her right back to the bedroom.
When was this going to subside? He just had no framework for it. He didn’t have any idea what had happened to make him want this one particular woman more than any other woman in the entire world.
And he didn’t know when something like that was supposed to cool down. How much fuel there was in a fire like that, because it had to exhaust itself eventually.
He was aware he was standing there staring at her, but suddenly he was overcome by the idea, the realization that it was possible she would get tired of him before he got tired of her.
And then what would he do? Watching her wander around the ranch looking like this when he knew full well he couldn’t have her?
It would kill him.
Unfortunately, one thing he did know, one thing he had never worried about, was that being obsessed ran in his family. He’d been so worried about being his father he had never even considered that he could become his mother.
An idea that made him extremely uncomfortable.
“I’ve never ridden a horse before,” she said, smiling.
“What?”
The declaration knocked him out of his musing.
“Yeah. The farm that I helped with just had miniature horses. So I’ve been around them, but I’ve never ridden them.”
“Well, luckily, this is pretty easy. And these are the kinds of horses that just follow the leader.”
“Where did you get them from?”
“Some from guest ranches that were no longer running trail rides. Different places across the country. There are a lot of retired rodeo animals on the ranch, but we don’t use them for this.”
“Oh, I love that. Retired rodeo horses to go with the retired rodeo riders.”
“You make me sound ancient.”
“Not ancient,” she said. “Just seasoned.”
He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her, but they had a whole audience. So instead, he just ushered her into the group of other guests who were receiving instructions on what to do.
They had ranch hands helping the inexperienced riders get set to go. It was a group of about fifteen people. “I’ll help you,” Cody said, waving off the hand who was going to help Marlowe, and who frankly looked a little bit too eager to help.
“Get your left foot in the stirrup here,” he said. “Grab hold of the horn on the saddle. And then you’re going to pull up with that leg in the stirrup and sling your right leg over the side.”
“That sounds complicated,” she said.
“It’s not. I promise.”
“What if I go too far and I just fall off the other side?”
“I’ll catch you,” he said, moving around to the other side of the horse. “See? If you go over, I’m right here.”
She looked very skeptical, but she followed his instructions, and then very suddenly, was seated on the back of the horse. Her eyes were round. “This is so much higher than I thought it would be.”
“Horses are tall.”
“I know. But I didn’t know it felt this tall.”
“You’ll do good.”
“Will you ride in front of me so that I can see you?”
“I’ll do one better. I’ll ride behind you so that I can keep an eye on you.”
They blended in with the other riders, and Cody could tell himself that he was doing quality control, seeing exactly what kind of experience his guests were having, but really, it was an excuse to watch Marlowe.
That she had never been on a horse before shocked him. But she was taking to it all right.
Maybe she would learn how, and they could do more riding together. Maybe it was something she would enjoy a lot later. She was at the threshold of a brand-new life. She could do whatever she wanted. Learn whatever she wanted.
Fundamentally, he was just a step along the way. That Band-Aid she had ripped off.
It made his gut feel uncomfortable, but there was nothing else to call it.
It wasn’t only physical, he could accept that. They were helping each other. They were both growing, changing, learning a little bit because of each other.
It was the strangest thing that a woman who had lived across the country all her life, who had a very different set of circumstances, a very different twenties and early thirties, could be the person that he understood the most. The person who understood him most. That was what it felt like.
Like she just knew him.
But also, she didn’t know details about his life, so he got to share them with her. Got to talk about things that he’d been through and watch her reaction to them. It made him see things differently.
He hoped he did the same for her.
Because he knew how it was. When you were a kid who had to kind of be a grown-up, you didn’t think that you were too young to deal with any of that.
You felt so capable. And then later, you looked back and realized how messed up it was, but sometimes it took somebody with a completely outside perspective to really see it.
It was nice to be in the group. Nice to be on the ride, but he just wished that they were by themselves. Yeah. He was going to take her for a ride out here. Was going to make sure that she got even more of a taste of ranch life.
“Cody,” she said, turning her head toward him just slightly, like she had read his mind just now. “How did you end up being a cowboy?”
“That’s a long story,” he said.
“Well, I want to hear it.”
“I’ll tell you.”
When they were alone again. He’d tell her. He’d show her a few things about him…not because it would change anything, just because she was the only person who’d ever known him like this.
He wanted her to understand him. Just so there was one person in the world who did.
They rode up to Painted Ridge, the spot that he had taken her to that night they’d been together in the truck.
He smiled, staring at the back of her, the elegant line of her spine, her ponytail bobbing with the movement of the horse. He had memories of her here. And that felt good. Felt good that there were parts of the ranch that were theirs.
He’d never been a sentimental person. He felt like he might be now.
The herd was down below, milling around, and the guests gasped with delight, watching the wild horses move in a group, such a rare sight these days.
Nolan paused to give a talk about the horses, about the efforts to round up wild horses, and why the stance of Painted Ridge was to leave them wild.
Marlowe looked at him, like she was proud. And right then, he felt a little bit proud.
And he let the feeling linger.