Chapter 29 #2
His voice cracked, and I finally turned, making the bubbles shift and move. I got to my knees, letting the water drip, my slick breasts exposed and sopping wet. My hands went to his jaw, and I leveled him with a stare of my own.
“What of my love for you, Silas? Can I not also want to move the sky and crack the earth just to protect you? Loving you has been the greatest joy of my life, and if it meant that I lost a few pieces of myself along the way then it was worth it. Your mom did what she felt was best to keep us both safe.”
His hand covered mine over his jaw as he ground his molars together. I felt the muscle shift under my palm.
“She nearly ruined us.”
I shook my head. “She knew our love was made of the very same substance that makes the stars stay in the sky, and the currents that spread throughout the rivers. We’re an ocean wave: violent, turbulent and steadfast. No time apart would ever diminish that.”
A tear slipped down his cheek.
“How do I accept what was done to you?”
His hands came to my hips, stabilizing me against him. I stroked his dark, furrowed brow.
“The same way I accepted what was done to you. I offered you my light. You might need to extend some of your own. You have some in there, my darling husband. I know you do. It’s brilliant and beautiful and perhaps it was just waiting for a season of peace to come out.”
He laughed as more tears fell from his lashes. Then I stood, stepped out of the tub and wrapped myself in a white fluffy towel. Silas did the same, tying it around his waist. I was about to walk past him, but he put his hand out, gently tipping my chin up.
“I’m sorry you lost him, Caelum. I know you cared for him.”
That sorrow felt like a plucked string on an instrument, ready to play to the tune of grief.
“I did care for him; he was annoying and I hate what he did to me. Parts of me will never forgive what he did to me in that house. But there are other parts of me that remember him as a kid, a gangly teen…a friend who was just as much a shield to me as you always were.”
Silas pressed a kiss to my mouth, soft and gentle. I followed him into the room where he handed me one of his t-shirts. I slipped the soft fabric over my head and then slid under the covers, watching as Silas did the same.
“How long have you had this cottage?”
Silas pulled me into his arms, making me feel found in ways I hadn’t even realized I’d been lost. “I discovered this place by accident about a year and a half ago. I was up here, trying to clear my head after you were traded, not wanting to be too far from you. There was an older couple who would also be up here, so I started helping them. Every day I would pick lemons, help load them, and carry them back to their house. I got so used to being here that I started sleeping on the ground, under the trees. They found me, and the next day, the old man led me here. Said it used to be for their groundskeeper. I bought it off them before they retired and moved back to Texas.”
I hummed, feeling tired, sad and happy all at once. The grief over Red, Alec and Brooks was a knife prick against my sternum, refusing to let up or go away but seeing this place, and how settled Silas was, I’d only ever hoped he’d find a place like this.
Silas hesitated, pushing some of my hair back. “Do you like it?”
My eyes slid shut, as a smile slipped free.
“It’s better than anything I ever hoped for…would you…” I stopped, suddenly feeling nervous. “Could I stay here with you?”
His soft chuckle was firelight against my exposed neck. “Yes, Caelum. This is yours. All I am is yours, including this cottage.”
“So you’ve been up here, on top of my town, just watching over me like a dark shadow?”
Slow strokes started against my stomach as he kissed my ear.
“Two years, I’ve never been more than five miles from you.”
Pain radiated like a webbed piece of glass, forcing my eyes shut and sleep to claim me.
The next morning was gray and full of clouds that snuffed out the sun. It felt fitting for my mood. Silas had brought me coffee in bed, and I realized I didn’t have the energy to leave it. I was sad.
So sad that tears trailed my face, leaving a cold sting behind.
I sipped the coffee, then closed my eyes and fell back asleep.
Silas would wake me for meals. But I wouldn’t eat them.
I wasn’t trying to be difficult; I just didn’t have an appetite.
When I slept, I saw Alec’s gray eyes right before he stopped living.
The way he talked about me one day living a life he’d never be a part of, one where he didn’t get to meet his niece or nephew, one where he didn’t get to fall out of love with me, and just be the friend he’d always been to me.
I’d see Red’s face as we laughed about playing charades. Her hands moving as she rolled out dough. Brooks grease-stained fingers as he helped me tune up my secret bike that no one was supposed to know about.
I’d see things that had knit invisible pieces of hope inside my heart, creating a snapshot for when their presence evaded this world. All that would be left would be those pieces of hope, stuck in our heart like chunks of forever.
Silas stroked my hair as I drifted off again, and I realized it was dark and an entire day had passed. I closed my eyes and let it drift away.
The following day began without Silas checking on me. Eventually my bladder had me leaving the bed. Once I relieved myself, I shuffled out of the room. Still in the shirt Silas gave me, my hair a wreck as I searched the cottage for my husband.
A note was left behind for me, indicating he was working the orchard.
A fluttering sensation started in my stomach. He’d become a peaceful man…a farmer, and I had yet to see him in action.
I turned around, located my clothes that Silas must have washed for me, and dressed.
Then I went in search of the orchard.
Sunshine soaked the world, doting on all the trees.
I covered my eyes with my hand as I walked past the enclosed yard, and back down the path Silas had initially driven up.
There were white buckets abandoned every few yards or so.
I grabbed one and began walking with it, still no idea where Silas was until I saw yellow and remembered lemons.
I found my husband wearing a white, gaping Henley with the sleeves shoved up to his forearms, brown gloves were on his hands.
Thick canvas jeans covered his legs, and work boots replaced the motorcycle boots I’d always seen him in.
There was also a black ball cap on his head, covering his hair and helping protect his eyes from the sun.
The sight of him…it was like a searing piece of metal plunged into my gut and swiped around.
Was this what he meant when he said he’d begun to fall in love with me all over again?
Because it was starting to feel that way as I watched him gently pulling a lemon free and tossing it down to a bucket; I felt like I was seeing him for the first time and completely in love already.
“Hi,” he said, looking down at me.
I realized I was just staring at him.
“Hi.”
“Lunch?”
How late was it?
“I guess.”
He smirked then scaled the ladder he was perched on.
“Penelope, Laura and Callie would like to send a message along to you that roughly states if you don’t contact them by today, they will begin tearing the town apart in search of you, which will include calling in the aid of any and all motorcycle club allies. ”
I snorted, imagining who drafted that little text. I did need to check in with them…they had to be so worried about me. I just disappeared.
Silas was down, walking along the trees with me, while carrying that bucket, so I turned to join him.
“Would that include yours? We going to talk about what you did, or how Fable was able to get to you, or better question, how you got out of the chair?”
His hand found mine as the quiet in the trees seemed to settle around us. It was so tranquil and perfect.
Finally, Silas took a deep breath and explained, “I gave them up. Lance is the new president.”
I stopped and faced him.
“You gave them up?”
Silas pushed a piece of hair out of my face.
“I lost my mind after I discovered you were hurt. I got rid of every single person who was ever a part of Dirk’s circle, or had ridden with him.
I had to get rid of that house…and somewhere in that blood lust, I wasn’t paying attention or watching.
Lance was trying to deal with the bodies because I’d created such a mess.
I took off toward the grove, but Fable had already been watching me. ”
I held his hand in mine, stroking along his wrist.
“So he took you?”
“He knocked me out but didn’t check me for weapons. I had a slim fragment of iron from the stakes…” He trailed off and that’s how I knew he was still good inside. Because even though those men deserved it, he still struggled to even talk about it.
His eyes drifted to some place behind me. “I had a small piece still in my back pocket. I was able to use it to cut through the rope.”
“He was toying with us…” I drifted off, but Silas pulled my chin back.
“Doesn’t matter. We won. Now let’s go see your friends before they find us and murder me.”