Chapter 16
February
“Eat it, you crazy animal!”
Moving up a horned worm with the tweezers, I smile, teasing Jagger a bit. I’m not surprised at his side-eye. He watches me, not taking the bait. The new man in my life definitely has an attitude and is very particular about what he eats.
I hadn’t meant to walk into the pet shop while I was listless at a huge indoor mall, using the time to sketch and distract myself from the shit going on in my life and my perpetual horniness around one particular man.
I walked, just intending to look around and kill a few hours before I went to visit my father, which always caused anxiety to burrow deep in my chest. Still, I was captivated by the way the dark brown and tan reptile, covered in black markings and large spikes, tilted its head at me in the pet shop.
Truthfully, he reminded me of Stone. The watchful way he assessed me, and his standoffish energy.
So I caved and impulsively bought a huge 40-gallon tank, food, heat lamps, and every known accessory, including a harness to ‘walk’ my new pet.
When I texted Kingsley a picture, she sent me back a confused emoji.
King: What the fuck is that?
Me: My new pet.
King: Whatever happened to getting a cat or a dog?
Me: More work. Isn’t he cute?
King: If you say so, You can’t even cuddle with it. Is it the one that squirts blood out of its eyes?
Me: What? No! No blood squirting. Calling him Jagger. I’m a beardie mom now!
King: And he had better stay in your room. I’ll pass out if I come home and see him crawling around.
Me: He’s not a fan of me touching him. Half the time, he ignores me.
King: Welp. Sounds familiar. Figures you’d go for a moody guy who has a complex.
Kingsley isn’t far off. Moody asshole is definitely my catnip these days. It figures I’d go for another male with spikes and a snarky attitude who most likely wouldn’t be into cuddling.
A quick swipe of Jagger’s tongue and the squishy green worm disappears. I drop the rest in his bowl, check his water, and adjust his heat lamp. Per his usual, he turns his back on me and climbs his gnarled wooden branch, sunning himself.
“Ungrateful asshole,” I mutter and watch him for a few more minutes.
Done with pet duties, I turn around, staring at the boxes of my things I’ve packed up since deciding to buy an art studio and open my own art gallery. I do a little dance. It feels right. It feels good to do it on my own. I haven’t asked Jace or my Father for anything.
After our fight, I backed off from being around Stone even more. Jace tried to apologize again, but I couldn’t help but feel like he was watching me for any move. I know he and Stone have seen each other.
Living with Kingsley for the last few months, I marvel at how little I have. Over the last year of medical school, I haven’t amassed much. I left Reed with everything, except for my clothes and shoes. I’ll need to buy everything from scratch.
I haven’t seen the new place, but I put a deposit down once I saw the photos online and had the video tour with my realtor.
I didn’t care about the small one-bedroom apartment as much as the 6,000-square-foot gallery underneath it.
The apartment next to mine is much bigger, but it was rented months earlier.
I really should be getting ready to move in, but I don’t want to think about all the things I have to do right now.
Tonight is girls’ night, and I want to hang out with the ladies.
I need this night out. A drink, some laughs. A chance to forget the fact that I haven’t had sex in a long ass time.
I open my closet and think about what to wear.
It’s freezing, but I do not want to wear a thick sweater in a hot, sweaty club.
Pulling out my red micro skirt, I wonder if he will be there.
I wouldn’t mind Stone being the one to help me orgasm.
No one has to know. Not that the girls will care.
They are all in favor of having a good time.
And if that means sex, then they are definitely on board.
My brother might put up a stink, but he’s so in love with Sophia, who is now six months pregnant with their daughter.
I was so happy when she told us at Christmas, despite the pall over everything with my father’s cancer diagnosis.
Pulling out my polka dot top, I hold it up against my red skirt.
Perfect. I think I’ll skip the underwear too.
Fuck it, why not? I’m going to have sex tonight if it kills me.
A nice one-night stand. A flash of Stone pushing his hands up my skirt and finding me without underwear flits through my mind.
I squeeze my thighs closed, hoping that it might happen, but knowing it might not.
Maybe I can find someone else, someone like him.
But I have a feeling that a man like Stone will be in short supply.
Our favorite club isn’t exactly crawling with sex tattooed bikers who look like they could make you scream.
“You might have to let it play out. See what happens. Unless you’re ready to grab him, take him home, and fuck him,” I quip, reapplying my apple red lipstick.
Looking back at Meela, my friend who is struggling to decide if she wants to fuck her best friend.
Her face is so sad, and I feel for her. I also want a man who seems way out of my reach.
Turning in the mirror, I think about taking my own advice.
Take Stone home and fuck him. Kingsley is off on another adventure, and I have the place to myself.
Which is another reason to move into my new place ASAP.
The moment he walked in, I knew. I felt his stare from across the room.
Fuck pretending like I didn’t see him. We never got that kiss.
He wanted to kiss me, and Lara interrupted us, and I never got the chance.
Then he disappeared off the face of the earth, it would seem.
But tonight he’s here. I’m here. Jace’s life is back on track. There is no Reed. No drama. Just an opportunity. I’m feeling reckless, horny, restless, tired of fucking my fingers and glass dildo to his image.
I smooth down my red micro skirt, remembering I have no underwear.
Oh god, the thrill runs through me. Never in my life would I imagine doing something like this.
I listen absently as the other women chatter on about Meela and her issues with Tate.
The man she’s been in love with for almost a decade.
I head to the stall. I’m wet, embarrassingly so, but it feels nasty, slutty, and I want that.
I want to be fucked. I’m not frigid. Reed’s words come back to me, and I push the hurtful feelings away.
He’s gone, Cam. His opinions don’t matter anymore.
Seducing Stone is what matters. He can probably deliver.
Who am I kidding? I know he can deliver.
No one has to know. My brother doesn’t have to know. Just one damn night.
Leaving the bathroom, I try not to look like I’m actively seeking him out.
And it’s not long before I find him. The cluster of men who are somehow part of my life form a circle.
Jace has Sophia wrapped in his arms. Dru is resting on Silas as he lifts her enormous belly in his massive hands.
Lara is dancing next to Jacks and talking to a man who looks like he’s on some sort of steroid.
She’s scowling, and he’s smiling. Onyx is sitting in a corner looking like a bodyguard, and Riggs is watching Jacks, who is dancing confidently while he studies her.
I wish I had her confidence. Eleanor is texting on her phone and smiling.
I wonder who put that flirty grin on her face.
I step next to Jacks, who pulls me toward her, singing as Tate’s McCrae’s “Greedy” booms out from the speakers.
It feels like fate. The lyrics are about a man eyeing a young woman, half his age.
She’s his sweet escape, and I want to be that for Stone.
I want that for myself. I wish, like the subject of the song, that I was getting a chance for one night.
When I turn to Stone, he’s watching me. Jacks’s confidence must be rubbing off on me because I follow her.
I dance for him. I dance knowing he can see me.
I wish I were brave enough to reveal that I’m not wearing underwear.
I could bend over and flash him my ass. But I’m not that brazen.
Maybe one day. For now, I let go of my inhibitions and my worries.
My father, my brothers, Reed, medical school, and the fear of failure are all sent to the back of my mind. They can stay dormant tonight.
When I open my eyes, sweaty and relaxed, I turn around and stop short because somehow he’s gotten closer.
He stands in a dark corner next to the bar.
Sloane Alexander is there too, but he doesn’t hold my interest. He’s the only one whom I care about.
There’s something otherworldly about him.
Erotically malevolent. It scares me, but also makes me want to get closer to sample the darkness I can sense inside him.
There are just a few feet between us, but it might as well be the Grand Canyon.
There are too many eyes watching. But I can enjoy dancing for him.
He doesn’t take his eyes off me, and I move as close as I dare, feeling that electrical pull that’s there anytime I’m around him, buzzing up my spine. It’s the best kind of voltage.