Chapter 2
AVA
Ava stared at the printout of the recently decrypted files as she paced the floor of the kitchen, waiting for her coffee to brew. Knowing she wasn’t alone in being violated by PharmaTech and their experimental drugs did little to ease the anger boiling under her surface.
Their use of Neuroprisol-X to cause her blackouts and behavior changes both infuriated and frightened her.
She pressed a hand against her jittery stomach, willing it to calm down, but wave after wave of nausea rolled over her.
With a hand pressed to her head, she sank onto one of the stools. Was this a side effect off the cocktail of drugs Kyle had given her or was she heading for another blackout?
She squeezed her eyes closed, tears forming in them as worry made her heart hammer against her ribs.
When would this end? When would she be able to trust her own actions?
“Hey,” Kyle’s voice said, drawing her back to reality.
With a start, she opened her eyes and glanced at him. “Hey.”
He raised his eyebrows, his features questioning. “You okay?”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head.
He crossed to her, pressing a hand against her forehead before he grabbed her wrist to take her pulse. “Your heart rate is really high. You feeling any other symptoms?”
“Hard to tell. I’m nauseous and jittery but that could be because I’m terrified of another blackout. Doc, do you think I should check myself in somewhere?”
“No, I don’t. I wish you’d trust me on this,” Kyle answered, his features conveying a slight annoyance with her.
“It’s not you I don’t trust, Doc. It’s me. And we have no idea if those drugs can counteract Neuroprisol-X that quickly. I could go for weeks with blackouts.”
“You need to calm down. The stress isn’t helping anything, Ava.”
She heaved a sigh, shaking her head as she slid to her feet and crossed to the coffee machine, grabbing the pot.
“Ahh, I wouldn’t do that,” Kyle said.
She twisted to face him, the pot’s spout hovering over the mug. “Why?”
“Coffee tends to cause more anxiety. If you’re already stressed, it’s not a good idea. We don’t want to exacerbate your symptoms.” Kyle crossed to her, lifting the mug and pot from her hands and returning them to the counter. “How about a nice cup of tea?”
Ava grimaced at him. “Tea? Ugh.”
“Go sit down. I’ll make you a lovely cup to relax with.”
“Why do I sound like I’m seventy when you say it that way.”
He grinned at her. “You’re definitely not seventy. I just would prefer you not to have too much caffeine with this new cocktail of drugs–which, by the way, is likely causing your nausea.”
“Do you promise?” she asked, her eyes searching his for any sign of concern.
“Most likely, yes. And then you’ve got yourself in a tizzy-”
“What?” she asked, her lips pulling back into a confused smile. “Did you just say tizzy?”
“Yes, I said tizzy. You are in one. Definitely. Go sit down, we’ll game while you drink your tea.”
Ava sucked in a sharp breath. “Ohhh, trying to set up a gaming date while Alex is working on searching for more information on PharmaTech. That’s bold, Doc.”
“You need downtime. I have to do it for you.”
She grinned at him as she shook her head. “Remember that when he ruins your credit score.”
“Don’t let him do that!” Kyle called as she shuffled from the kitchen into the living room, wandering to the sliding door and staring out over the roiling sea.
Things had become so messy lately. Her lack of confidence in herself was a new sensation, and she didn’t like it at all.
She’d always been sure of her decisions in the past. Now, with the effects of the chemical burning through her body, she couldn’t tell what was truly her and what was a chemically induced impulse.
And she had no idea when she’d be able to trust herself again. She pressed her lips together, sliding her eyes closed as she took a steadying breath. She had to trust the people around her to keep her safe.
With a heavy sigh, she crossed to the couch and collapsed into the soft cushions tugging a throw pillow onto her lap. The pitter-patter of tiny paws reached her ears as Gizmo raced around the corner of the couch and yipped at her.
“Hey, Giz,” she said, scooping up the small dog and setting him in her lap. He snuggled closer, curling in the crook of her knee as she sat cross-legged and closed his eyes. “I wish I was as relaxed as you.”
“Still not feeling any better?” a new voice asked as she settled back into the cushions.
She twisted to find Chris striding into the room. He plopped onto the cushion next to her, his nose wrinkling at the tiny dog sleeping with her.
“I don’t know,” she murmured.
He stared at her for a moment before he shifted to face her. “Want to talk about it?”
She screwed up her face. “With you?”
“Yes, Ava, with me. Remember not long ago we almost got married.”
“Yeah, and we didn’t because we were completely mismatched.”
He sucked in a deep breath. “That doesn’t mean I don’t still care about you. I do. Actually, I care a lot.”
“Yeah, that’s evident. I mean, the way you betrayed me, sold me out to The Board–”
“Okay, please stop,” Chris said, holding up a hand. “That was all a mistake on my part. Okay? I was hurt. Extremely hurt, Ava.”
“You weren’t hurt, Chris, you were angry. There’s a big difference.”
He lifted a shoulder, balancing his elbow on the back of the couch as he let his head settle against his fist. “I’m sure I was. But I think I had every right to be upset.”
“How do you figure? Because being with Alex highlighted how very wrong we were together?”
“Were we that wrong together, Ava?” he asked, his features pinched with confusion.
She stared at him for a second, her features pinched. “Uh, yeah. Remember how you hated my hair in a bun, and you hated that I gamed, and you hated that I liked sappy romance movies?”
“I’ve been thinking about that, and…I don’t hate all of that. I just…it was weird for me, okay? Because we had certain roles in life. And suddenly, you were a different person. But now…”
“Now what?” Her mind struggled to keep up with whatever he was suggesting. Was he seriously making another play for their relationship in the middle of a battle against a nefarious organization?
“I just…I think our relationship didn’t really get a fair shot.”
She stared at him, her jaw hanging open as she tried to process his words. “So, what are you saying, Chris?”
“I’m saying…” He pressed his lips together as he let his gaze fall on the cushion between them before he raised his eyes to hers. “I’m saying I want you back. I’m saying I think I can be the man you deserve. And I’m saying that you’re making a huge mistake with Alex Stone.”
“Whoa,” Kyle said as he hovered in the doorway, a steaming cup of tea in his hand. “I think I walked in at the wrong moment.”
Ava shifted her gaze from Kyle to Chris then back to Kyle. “No, uh, you didn’t. This conversation isn’t happening. I’m married to Alex. I love Alex. I’m sorry, Chris.”
Chris heaved a sigh as he rose, stepping closer than she was comfortable with.
His finger traced her jaw, and she flinched but didn’t pull away.
“Think about it, Ava. We don’t know how long those drugs have been controlling you.
Are you really sure about your decisions?
What if… when the drugs clear out… you regret everything? ”
The words hit her like a punch to the gut, leaving her breathless.
She wanted to believe Chris was wrong—that she was in control of her mind, her emotions—but what if she wasn’t?
What if she’d been infected with Neuroprisol-X far sooner than any of them realized?
Every decision she’d made, every feeling she’d had for Alex—what if none of it was real?
Her stomach twisted as doubt seeped into every corner of her mind.
She couldn’t lose Alex. She loved him. But what if love was just a lie the drug had whispered into her mind?
She shook her head as he left the room, and Kyle took his place. No, she loved Alex. She couldn’t live without Alex. And she’d always felt that way.
Kyle thrust the cup of tea toward her, his lips pulled into a thin line. “Well, that was ill-timed, wasn’t it?”
She huffed out a breath as she accepted it, taking a sip before she shook her head. “Why would he do this now?”
“Because you’re vulnerable, and he’s taking advantage of that.” Kyle raised his eyebrows a little. “You want me to rough him up for you?”
Ava chuckled, wrapping her fingers around the warm mug of tea. “No. But thank you.”
She took another sip. “Hey, umm, I hate to ask this again, but don’t say anything to Alex.”
Kyle narrowed his eyes at her. I’m not judging but are you sure that’s a good idea? I mean…now feels like a time to be honest with him.”
Ava clicked her tongue, sliding her eyes closed. The warmth of the tea radiated through her hands as she tried to use it to center herself. “I know. I just…there’s so much going on, and I don’t want him panicking about this. And he will.”
Kyle exhaled a long breath as he pressed back into the pillows.
“Ava, keeping this secret isn’t just going to cause you more anxiety—it’s dangerous.
You’re walking a tightrope here, and any added stress could tip the balance.
I’m not going to tell Alex, but you need to think hard about how much you can handle alone. ”
She patted his hand. “Thank you, Doc.”
He rubbed her shoulder. “What are you doing to do about it? Because it doesn’t sound like he’s going to let this go.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. You heard what I said to him, and he just ignored it.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be alone with him going forward for the time being. He’s just going to continue to pester at you.”
“He’s not right, right?” Ava questioned, craning her neck to glance up at him.
“About the drugs and the implication that any feelings you have toward Alex are only the result of a chemically induced set of emotions?”
She nodded. “Yep.”
Her stomach churned as she waited for his response. What if he confirmed her worst fear? What if everything she’d done in the past few months couldn’t be counted on. Had there been a reason that she and Alex had never been together before now?
Kyle pressed his lips together. “I don’t think what you feel for Alex is the result of the drug. Weren’t you guys close before you fake married him, and then close even after?”
Tears sprang to her eyes as she nodded, her lower lip trembling in a desperate attempt to hold her emotions inside. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Easy, Ava,” Kyle said, pulling her closer. “You need to stop second guessing everything.”
“How can I?” she asked with a sniffle. “I’m filled with some experimental drug, and now with even more drugs to try to counterbalance them.”
“Those drugs don’t change your personality, Ava”
“We don’t know that about the Neuroprisol-X. It’s behavior-changing. It could–”
“It didn’t manufacture the emotions you’ve had since before you came here.” He twisted to face her. “Let me ask you this. Before you came here…didn’t you say you were nervous to tell Alex about Chris?”
Ava stared into her tea, searching it for answers. “Right. I was, yeah.”
“Don’t you think that was because you knew deep down that you didn’t want to be separated from him? If you didn’t care at all about Alex, you wouldn’t have felt that way, right? And that would have been well before you were exposed to Neuroprisol-X.”
Ava heaved a sigh, setting the tea on the side table before she pulled Kyle into a tight embrace. “Thank you.”
He squeezed her tighter. “Any time. And you know you can believe me because I kissed you. And if I thought there was even a small chance you only loved Alex because of the drugs, I would totally be hitting on you. Chris wouldn’t even stand a chance with the full-court press I’d be giving you.”
Ava grinned at him as she pulled back, cupping his cheeks. “You are going to make some very special woman very happy.”
“Uh-huh, well, until then, I’m just going to make sure you stay nice and calm so you don’t have any more blackouts.”
She patted his cheek. “You’re one of the good ones, Doc.”
“Ahhhh, is there something you want to tell me about?” Alex asked as he strolled in, his laptop tucked under his arm.
“Doc’s hitting on me,” Ava said with a wink at him.
“Wait, seriously, or are you joking? I can’t tell,” Alex asked with a wince, shifting his gaze between them.
“I’m joking. Doc is just making sure I’m feeling okay and staying calm.”
“I hope you’re staying real calm,” Sebastian said as he strode into the room behind Alex. “Because we are going to need to figure this out. And there’s no way we can fight back without you, Ava.”
Ava swallowed hard as she grabbed the tea again, holding it close. What they faced seemed impossible. Was she up to the task of defending them and breaking a major criminal organization or would it cost her everything?