Chapter 16 #3
There was so much defeat in Tuck’s tone. He was wounded emotionally. As a man, what was he to do? He’d been outed for the whole city to see. His once menacing reputation was ruined in a matter of posts and now, he couldn’t even fight the narrative because it was true.
“Who you think did it?”
Tuck finally gazed at him. His eyes were filled with rage that prompted them to appear red.
“It was that bitch-ass nigga, Jovanis.”
Noble’s eyes bucked in complete disbelief. “Get the fuck outta here. Jovanis did this shit?”
Somberly, Tuck nodded. “He was the nigga in the…” He cleared his throat. “In the video.”
Noble reclined in the chair, stunned that Jovanis had done something so low. How could someone, who had been hiding in the closet, out another man? How could he humiliate someone when he was sailing in the same boat?
“Why would he do this?”
“Because I didn’t wanna be with his bitch-ass,” Tuck griped, cracking his knuckles. “I told him I’m not gay and that I don't wanna be in no fucking relationship. He got mad and did this.” He shook his head for the umpteenth time.
“Why you think you not gay?”
Tuck cut his eyes at him. “What the fuck you mean? I’m not.”
“Cuz, if you needed someone to tell you, let me be the one. You gay, fam.”
“What?” Tuck’s head reared, offended by his words.
For years, Noble had avoided this conversation with Tuck. Mainly because one, he didn’t want to know about him being with men sexually, and two, it wasn’t none of Noble’s business. Evading the conversation had left too many narratives on the table and now was the time to set things straight.
“You fuck with men, right?”
“Man,” Tuck drawled, looking at the table next to them. “I don't be like… it’s not nothing like that… I mean I love women more.”
“Nigga, you can’t even explain it,” Noble pointed out. “As a matter of fact, you don't need to explain it. You like fucking with niggas. That makes you gay or I guess bisexual. Hell, I don't know but you one of those.”
Tuck scratched his eyebrow, mulling over Noble’s words.
“A’ight.” His tone was doused in frustration.
“I’ll tell you how I look at this from my perspective…
When I was younger, I recognized right away that I was attracted to other niggas.
I never acted on it until I was like eighteen.
I wanted to try some shit and I did.” He shrugged, chewing on his inner cheek.
“I liked it, but I knew I never wanted to be with another man. I still loved women. So, I guess that makes me bisexual not gay. But I never saw myself settling down with a man. That’s what Jovanis wanted from me, and I couldn’t give it to him.
So, he does this bitch shit and out me. Cuz, you gotta get that nigga for me. ”
Noble’s relaxed features suddenly grimaced. “Get what?”
“Van.” He looked around before he whispered, “I need that man gone.”
Shaking his head, he couldn’t believe Tuck had even allowed the words to spill from his mouth.
“What the fuck I look like to you, huh? You think I’m your errand boy, nigga?” Noble snarled, growing irate with each question. “You think I take orders from a man like you?”
Tuck snorted. “I thought you were family.”
“That’s never gonna change. You my blood but I’m not about to go lay a man down because he exposed you. I ain't no fucking send-off, Tuck.”
“But Jovanis is plotting on you, too. You think he gon’ let you take his bitch and ride off into the sunset? You better get that man before he get you. Jovanis not playing about his wife, cuz.”
Noble chuckled. “You can’t manipulate me, Tuck. I’m not one of those jits in TLM. You fucking with a heavyweight. Remember that.”
“So, you can’t take care of this shit for me?” he seethed, raising his arms. “This me, Noble. Your blood.” He smacked his chest with his open palm. “You gon’ let a nigga disrespect me like that?”
Noble had so many reasons to put Jovanis down for good, but Tuck’s issues wouldn’t be one of them. He didn’t believe in taking on another man’s problems, especially when it was as personal as an illicit love affair.
“Man, don't come at me like that. Now you want me to come to your aid when you were the person who put the bug in Van’s ear about me and Irish.”
“You never said not to tell him.”
“I shouldn’t have had to,” Noble countered, glowering at him. “I didn’t give a fuck that you did because I’ma always stand on my shit. But you weak as fuck for going back to your boyfriend and discussing what I told you.”
“Stop saying that shit. That man ain't my boyfriend. The fuck.”
Tuck claimed to love women but Noble disagreed.
He never treated them with the highest respect.
He had never openly loved one out loud. The most Tuck would do was buy a female a bottle at the club.
There were so many chances he had to truly make a woman his, but Tuck chose to take advantage of their pussy and never took care of their heart.
“Look, I understand your frustration but I’m not the man for the job.”
Tuck snorted. “I swear every time you show me who you are, I always give you the benefit of the doubt.”
Cocking his head, Noble exhaled, trying to figure out what Tuck was saying.
“Nigga don't look at me like that. You stay abandoning me when I need you. You left me high and dry when we first started TLM. You left and didn’t give a fuck about how I felt.
Now a nigga exposed me for the whole internet to see, and you don't give a fuck again. What happened to being your brother’s keeper?
I know we only cousins, but I looked at you as my brother.
Nobody could tell me shit when it came to you, Noble.
How come you don't give me that same respect?”
Maybe Noble was this fucked-up individual underneath this character he portrayed.
Maybe he didn’t care about anyone except his son.
It could’ve been a fact, especially after he crossed the line with Irish.
He tried his best to do right by the people in his life and he would admit, he fell short with Tuck.
Despite that admission, Noble came to the conclusion that he didn’t owe him shit.
Yes, they’d made plans to take over the state of Florida but that fell through when his son was born.
Tuck’s insistence on not understanding Noble’s stance troubled him.
Tuck was selfish and so was Noble. They both refused to see each other’s point of view, leaving them stuck at square one.
Noble rolled his tongue across his teeth.
“I looked out for you more than you know. You know how many niggas were gunning for you and I intercepted? I never said shit because I didn’t need no praise from you.
You only got ten years because I made sure you had a good lawyer and that those witnesses disappeared.
Did you forget you were looking at a life sentence?
I put my life on the line to come back to TLM, knowing my heart wasn’t in this shit.
I’ve showed up for you, Tuck, so don't dare sit in my fucking face and act like our kinship has been one sided, ‘cause it ain't.”
No words were exchanged, just deep eye contact as the men ruminated on their thoughts.
“So, you not gon’ hit that nigga for me? Just like that? It’s no? You gon’ let him fuck me over like this?”
Noble snorted a chuckle before sniffing back his anger. “I got my own issues with Van, but I’m not willing to take on yours. You can’t use me for that.”
Tuck bobbed his head, inhaling a deep breath. “Heard you. But you ain't gon’ get the chance to say fuck me again. Now, it’s fuck you!”
Noble chuckled, amused by Tuck’s attitude. “Why? ‘Cause I ain't running down on your lover? Get out yo’ feelings.”
“Fuck you, Noble. I mean that shit.”
Tuck stood and walked toward the door where the inmates had come from. Noble watched him disappear before he stood and was processed out the prison. Tuck was his cousin, but he was no one that he needed in his life. So, his farewell wasn’t bittersweet. It was whatever.