Chapter 5
Five
Irish hated how cold exam rooms could be.
She rested on the table, dressed in the dull hospital gown while Noble sat in the chair.
This was their first prenatal exam, and she was a ball of nerves.
She hadn’t been getting proper rest or eating a healthy diet, and Irish was nervous the baby would be affected.
“Do you think the baby will be okay?”
Noble looked up from his phone with his ominous eyes. He was dressed down in a Fear of God crème shirt, light blue joggers, and designer sneakers.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
“I don't know. I’m probably overthinking.”
As soon as the word left her lips, the doctor entered the room. She wore a bright smile with thick, black hair and shiny, brown skin.
She extended her hand. “Well, hello. I’m Dr. Burnell, and I’ll be your OB-GYN. You must be Irish.”
“Yes.” She shook her hand.
She then turned to Noble who did the same. “And you must be Dad.”
“Noble,” he confirmed.
“It’s so nice to meet you guys. She walked over to the stool and took a seat.
“So, is this your first child?”
“It’s mine but this is his second child,” Irish answered.
“How exciting,” she gushed, looking down at her open laptop. “And it looks like we already collected your vitals and the date of your last menstrual cycle. Is this your first pregnancy?”
Irish shifted her body on the table. “No, it’s not.”
Immediately, she felt Noble’s eyes on her but didn’t meet his gaze.
“Okay, and how did that pregnancy go?”
“Uh, I had a miscarriage.”
“Okay.” She typed something on the keyboard. “Well, let’s lay you back so I can do your ultrasound.”
Irish laid back and the doctor pulled out the stirrups. Placing her feet in each, Dr. Burnell grabbed the probe and inserted it inside of her vaginal canal. Irish watched the screen in great anticipation, praying everything was normal.
“It looks like you are twelve weeks and two days.”
Irish’s eyes expanded. “I’m that far along?”
The doctor smiled as she bobbed her head. “Yes, you are. Everything looks normal. I’m going to order some blood work and send a prescription for vitamins. Are there any other questions you may have?” She removed the probe.
Noble helped Irish sit up.
“Um, I haven’t had an appetite because I’m grieving. Is there anything you can suggest so I’ll remember to eat?”
Removing her gloves, she replied, “Well, for one, make sure you're taking your vitamins and staying hydrated. Also, instead of big meals, try smaller ones with a snack in between. If that doesn’t work, then come back and see me.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“It has been a pleasure to meet you two, and I’ll see you next month.” She beamed.
She excused herself and Irish got dressed. Afterward, they walked out the office and went to the lab so Irish could give a blood sample. The entire time, Noble’s eyes were trained on her. He wore a look of curiosity which she assumed was about her revelation.
“You hungry?” he asked when they walked out the building.
“Not really.”
Irish had only had a piece of toast and that was a chore to finish.
Noble opened the door to his car, and she got inside. When he joined her, he turned to her.
“You were pregnant before?”
She opted to bob her head instead of replying orally.
“Why you ain't tell me?”
Hunching her shoulders, Irish sighed. “I don't know. I didn’t think you needed to know.”
“Why is that?”
Peering at him, she responded, “Because it was before you.”
“Yeah, but I think I should've known that. You were acting like this was your first pregnancy.”
“No, I wasn’t.”
“Yeah, you were.” He sat back in his seat and started the engine. “How far along were you when you lost it?”
Irish swallowed hard at the memory of her second heartbreak. “Close to five months.”
Noble glanced at her while maneuvering out of the parking lot. “Damn, you were that far along?”
She nodded, hoping it was his last question.
“Who were you pregnant by?”
“I did not know you were this nosy,” she joked. “Why you gotta know all the details?”
“Why you being so secretive? Was it Jovanis?”
Irish’s pinched brows and parted lips displayed how stunned she was by his question. “What would make you think that?”
Noble shook his head, pulling up to an intersection. “I don't know. I feel like something happened between y’all. Maybe when y’all were young.”
“But why?”
“I don't have an answer.” He shrugged, trying to find words. “I understand what he did for you but… sometimes, I feel like your bond was deeper than you let on. I don't know. I could be wrong but it was just a thought.”
“Well, your thoughts are wrong as fuck!” she retorted.
“Aye.” He glanced at her then back at the road. “Why you getting hot with me? We having a conversation, and I was only sharing my thoughts. Ain't no need for your attitude.”
“There’s no need for you to be speculating about me and Jovanis being intimate. I would’ve told you if it happened.”
“Would you, though?” he challenged.
“Wow.” She shook her head. “You’re really trying to piss me off.”
“No, you pissing yourself off getting mad about my speculation. If y’all fucked in the past, I wouldn’t give a fuck because it happened before me. But I’ll keep my thoughts to myself next time since I can’t say shit to you.”
Noble pressed the button on his steering wheel and the sounds of Future’s Throw Away filled the car. Irish sat, frustrated with his response and her reaction. Her miscarriage was a sore topic for her. Each time she thought about it, it seemed as though the ill feelings possessed her.
Irish reached over and turned the volume down. “Listen, I didn’t mean to get defensive, Noble.”
He said nothing as he looked forward. Irish rolled her eyes and continued.
“My miscarriage was a big loss back then. I hate talking about it because it takes me back to when Jovanis stressed me out so badly that I know the loss of my pregnancy was because of him.”
Noble looked at her. “What he do to you?”
“He got mad because I had gotten pregnant. It was a reason I didn’t reveal my pregnancy to him during our last conversation.
He was always scared of losing me. Me and the guy I was dating didn’t plan to get pregnant but it happened.
Jovanis ridiculed me so much and guilted me into my miscarriage.
He told me I was irresponsible and maybe I was.
Pregnancy had never been a part of our setup, but it happened.
I wasn’t mad about it but he was so disappointed.
” She made air quotes with her fingers. “Jovanis snatched my happiness away to the point where I bled out. After it was confirmed that I had a miscarriage, he apologized but the damage had already been done… Jovanis had some great qualities to him but he could be unbearable to deal with at times.”
Irish wouldn’t miss that part of Jovanis. His rage always took him to heights that he couldn’t control. His words cut deeper than a machete, igniting wounds that would never heal.
Noble grabbed her hand and kissed it. “You ain't gotta worry about that kinda shit now. You can be happy about this pregnancy. When are you going to tell your people?”
She sighed. The only people she wanted to share the news with was Cali and Ivory. Her mother was finally out of her life and Jovanis was gone.
“When I pass the five-month mark. I just wanna make sure I’m good.”
He nodded. “A’ight, cool.”
Noble continued driving while holding her hand. This was such a bittersweet moment for Irish. While elated about her upcoming bundle of joy, she was grieving a person who had been a big part of her life. She was so conflicted.
“TT, I don't want you to move away.”
Cali looked down at Dallas, who stood next to her while she typed her email. He was so adorable with his little plats in his hair.
“Aww, I don't wanna leave you either.” She stroked his cheek. “But TT gotta work.”
“No, you don't. You can stay here and my mommy and daddy can work for you.”
She chuckled at his three-year old reasoning. “I can’t live off of them. I need money to pay my bills.”
“You can just ask my daddy. He’s rich,” Dallas announced before skipping away.
Cali tittered and resumed typing an email to her new employer. With Irish being so down about Jovanis’ death, she wanted to see if she could push back her start date for employment.
“Girl, what is Dallas talking about?” Bria asked, coming into the room. “He asked me if I can pay your bills.”
Cali chortled. “Girl, he’s trying to convince me not to move away. I told him I need to pay bills so that’s why he said that.”
Bria shook her head and took a seat in the chaise. “Oh, the annoying sister is here. She’ll be up here soon.”
Cali rolled her eyes, not in the mood for Enya’s negative ass.
“So, when do you start? I need to know the date because I’m going to come with you guys to help you get settled in.”
Douglas and Cecilia had agreed to accompany Cali to Diamond Falls so they could help her secure an apartment and a car. That gave Cali so much relief since she needed some support.
“Actually, I’m—”
Her words were silenced by Enya’s sudden presence. She smiled at Cali, looking around the bedroom to probably complain about something.
“It’s hot in here.” She fanned herself. “What’s going on?”
“Like I was saying,” Cali continued, “I just emailed them and asked to push the start date back. I kinda wanna stay here and make sure Irish is okay.”
“Irish?” Enya fussed, sitting on the bench near the foot of the bed. “Girl, if you don't worry about your own plans.”
“Please be quiet. Irish lost her husband,” Bria retorted. “If she wants to be there for her friend, then let her.”
“Right, you so fucking negative. That’s why you don't have any friends now.”
Enya smacked her lips. “I actually do have friends. My college friends and I are still in contact.”
“And I can guarantee that they have a group chat without your bitch-ass.” Cali laughed.
Bria chortled. “I know they be dragging her ass like a dog.”