Chapter 6
Six
This stage was agonizing.
Irish stood in the middle of the living room, watching her entire house get packed up.
Noble had come through and hired a moving company to pack her home and take her things to storage.
The hollowness in Irish’s chest crept up her throat, making it ache.
Before she had arrived, she coached herself not to cry.
She wanted to be strong even if it was a facade.
However, watching the pictures of her, Jovanis, and Ivory be placed in boxes left her despondent.
Margie: Irish, can I please have Jovanis’ ashes? I need something of my son since we didn’t do a funeral. Please consider it. I would appreciate it.
“Irish, do you want these?” Ivory asked, holding up a pair of Givenchy shark boots.
She looked up from the phone and said, “Yeah, I do.”
“You don't even wear them,” she retorted.
“I will one day.”
Ivory pursed her lips. “In hot-ass St. Parklynn? I don't think so.”
“I’ll take them,” Cali offered, entering the home.
Seeing her was like sunshine cutting through gloomy clouds. Cali had been a godsend, handling business on her behalf and being a supportive companion.
“Don't you have a pair?” Ivory shot.
“Yeah, but they're in storage, which means I’m not going through those boxes to find them.”
Irish chuckled when Ivory rolled her eyes at them and walked away. Cali looked around at the boxes and nodded.
“They not playing, huh? They got this big-ass house packed up so fast.”
“Yeah, I know.” Irish sat on the windowsill. “Is it bad that I haven’t gone into the bedroom? Seeing them put his clothes in the box would’ve broken me down. I can’t do it.”
“It’s okay.” Cali rubbed her arm. “That’s why they're here so you don't have to do it.”
“Thank you for being here for me. I know you’ve been dealing with your own issues so I appreciate you for real, Cali.”
“It’s no problem.” She leaned against the couch. “You were there for me when Rio was in a coma. How could I not show up for you?” Cali beamed. “Oh, I didn’t tell you this but I emailed my hiring manager and asked if I could push my start date back. She agreed.”
A knowing look covered Irish’s face. “Cali, you didn’t have to do that for me. I don't wanna hold you back.”
“Girl, stop.” She flicked her hand at her nonsense. “It’s cool. I told her it was a death in the family so she understood. I wanna help you cope. You don't have to do this alone.”
Irish was so appreciative of the people in her corner. For most of her life, Jovanis had been her lifeline, ushering her through different seasons. Cali had always been her best friend, and Noble was a blessing. She’d even leaned on Ivory when the weight of grief became too much to carry.
“Thank you…” Irish mumbled. “I have to go to the funeral home to sign some papers but… I think I’m going to let his mother have his ashes.”
“Wow.” Cali’s forehead creased, shocked by Irish’s plan. “I thought you said he wanted you to throw it in the ocean.”
For the last week, Irish had honored every request Jovanis’ had made in life. After reading his mother’s text for her to have his ashes, Irish obliged. This was her way of actually letting him go by sending him back to the woman who had shepherded him into the world.
“I do but… I hate to say this but I gotta be real. I’m so fucking mad at Jovanis.” Irish shook her head as her voice cracked. “Why would he expose Tuck and put himself in danger like that? I can’t believe he was so fucking reckless.”
The tears dripped from her eyes but these weren’t tears of sadness. They were tears of rage. Did Jovanis not think about her when he exposed Tuck? Did he not think how his death would affect his entire family? Not only was he selfish in life but death as well.
“I know, friend.”
“No, it’s not right.” Irish swiped away her tears with the pads of her fingers. “This shit ain't fair.”
“Life isn’t fair, Irish. Everyone has to deal with grief at some point. Unfortunately, this is your turn.”
“Ugh, I go from crying to being mad and then depressed. I can’t keep living like this.”
Cali expelled a breath. “You can’t skip the process, Irish. Van was a big part of your life. It’s a given for you to mourn him.”
Irish exhaled and reached for her water bottle. Taking huge sips, she hoped this phase would pass soon.
“Am I making a big mistake by giving his ashes to his mother? Tell me I’m trippin’ because my decision doesn’t even feel right.”
“I mean, why are you giving them to her instead of what he asked you to do?”
She shrugged. “I don't know. I feel bad for her. She said they had made amends and were making plans to spend more time together. She feels like she was robbed and, in a way, I was too. Me and Van had come to an agreement. We were going to divorce but still be friends. I would’ve loved to see how we navigated that.”
And how he would’ve reacted to me being a mother…
“Yeah, me too.” Cali smirked. “His jealous ass probably would’ve went back on his word.”
Irish laughed. “I know right. He was never good at controlling his emotions.”
“Well, I’m here until further notice.”
Irish stood and pulled Cali in for a hug. “Thank you for staying a while. I can’t deny how much your presence has helped me cope.”
Cali hugged her tighter. “You know I got you.”
Irish gave a faint smile. “I need to go to the funeral home. You think you can come with me?”
“Of course. Let’s go.”
The loud chords of music quietly resounded through the funeral home.
Irish stood in the entry way, feeling her senses heighten.
This was the final place after death. There were dead bodies being prepared for a homegoing service, which would leave their loved ones in shambles.
Irish was lowkey thankful Jovanis had restricted her from planning a funeral.
Knowing it would’ve been hard to see him lowered to the ground, she was thankful she was saved from that visual.
“Hello?” a woman with a blonde bob greeted them. “How can I help you?”
She was an older lady but looked regal in a black dress and heels so high, Irish wondered how she was able to walk in them.
“I’m Irish. I came here to sign papers for my husband’s cremation.”
“Oh.” She pointed at her. “We spoke earlier, right?”
“Yes.
She extended her hand to shake Irish and Cali’s hand. “I’m Henrietta, the funeral director. Follow me to my office so we can get your signature.”
They walked down a long hallway as Irish took a peek in each room. She silently gasped when she spotted a man laying in a casket. Shaking the visual from her mind, they entered a cozy office that had large, oak wood furniture.
“Firstly, I want to extend my condolences. I know losing a spouse is one of the worst occurrences that can happen. We here at The Redmon Funeral Home are here to ensure this transition is as smooth as possible.”
“Thank you,” Irish muttered.
“So.” She typed a few things in her computer. “Will you be doing a viewing and service?”
“No, I just want him to get cremated.”
“Okay.” She typed in the computer. “Your husband has been ID’ed as Jovanis Durell Page. Date of birth is December 2nd, 1992. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
Henrietta picked up a manilla folder and grabbed a few sheets of paper.
She clipped them to the clipboard, grabbed a pen, and passed it to Irish.
“This here is an identity verification form that I need you to fill out. This is to signify that the body has been properly identified and is ready to be cremated.”
Irish began filling out the form. She was so frazzled that her handwriting was shaky. All morning, she’d prepared herself for this and now she felt like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Jovanis was gone, that much she knew but filling out this paperwork made everything a reality.
“So, while you fill that out, I’ll continue asking questions. Now, what do you want him to wear?”
Irish and Cali shared a confused expression.
“They wear clothes during cremation?” Cali asked.
Henrietta nodded. “Yes, ma’am, or you can choose to have him wear a standard gown that we provide.”
Irish felt a headache emerging. All of this was too much. As if she was encountering an out-of-body experience. She still found it hard to believe she was planning Jovanis’ cremation process.
“Um…” Irish swallowed hard, feeling a heat flash coat her body. “I-I guess uh—”
“You can just put him in the standard gown,” Cali answered for her.
Irish was so thankful for her interception since she’d suddenly drew a blank.
“Great.”
Henrietta typed some more. She then stood. “Let me go grab his things. I’ll be right back.”
Her heels tapped against the hardwood floor as she made her exit out the room. Irish filled out the form, fighting back the images of his lifeless body laying in her arms.
“You okay?” Cali questioned.
Irish shook her head, not having the will to lie. “No, I’m fucked up.”
Rubbing her back in a soothing motion, she assured, “I know this is probably the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to do, but you have people who are going to hold you up.”
A faint smile covered her mouth. “Thanks ‘cause I’m going to need it.”
Henrietta entered the room carrying a bag. “This here are the items that were recovered from the body.”
Irish put the clipboard on the desk and grabbed the bag with Jovanis’ possessions. Her eyes became cloudy, distorting her vision until tears cascaded down her cheeks. She pulled out Jovanis’ beloved Rolex, his diamond earrings, and Saint Laurent wallet.
“Thank you.”
Henrietta smiled at her. “Of course. We’re here to ensure that you don't have to worry about a thing when it comes to this. Now that this is filled out, we can start the process of cremation. It will last anywhere from one and a half to two hours. Once done, the remains will be left to cool then grounded down and placed in an urn. When that happens, we will call you to pick them up.”
Irish bobbed her head, still looking at Jovanis’ belongings. “Um, his mother will pick them up. Let me write her number down.”