Chapter 12 #3
Gently, Irish sat up and rose from the bed. She tiptoed to the bathroom to relieve herself. After washing her hands, she slipped back in bed and laid her head on Noble’s broad chest. He stirred a bit before pushing strands from her ponytail off her bare shoulder.
“You good?”
“Yeah.” She gently traced the curvature of his peck with her finger. “The storm woke me up.”
Noble wrapped his arm around her, unknowingly bringing her comfort that she desperately needed.
“What’s wrong?”
She smirked, wondering how he knew her mind was racing.
Inhaling a deep breath, she revealed, “I gotta go see my mother soon.”
“What’s so bad about that?”
“I lowkey hate her,” she confessed just as thunder boomed outside the windows.
“But I suppress it because… for a number of reasons. When I used to go to vacation bible school during my teenage years, they taught us to honor our mother and our father so that our days will be long. I guess I’ve hung onto that scripture all these years but I’m living a lie. ”
The only people who knew about her tumultuous relationship with Daisy was Ivory and Jovanis. Opening up to Noble was a big deal for her. Irish couldn’t believe she had led him into that part of her life.
“So, when I go to see her,” she continued, “I don't offer any emotional support. I give her a little bit of surface talk then leave her money for bills. She complains about my lack of concern for her, then I leave. That’s my monthly routine with my estranged mother.”
“Where did your hate come from?”
Irish gulped down the bile traveling up her throat. This part of her existence was painfully agonizing. Trying to find words to match her feelings were almost impossible because the pain was too great to paint a picture for.
“She just… she sold me out. And when her husband died, she checked out on me and my sister. I was fifteen years old, carrying my two-year-old sister around like she was mine. I was responsible for everything. I had to feed her, bathe her, take her to school, and pick her up. Everybody thought I was a teen mom when I wasn’t.
My mother would ignore us and put everything on my shoulders. I’ve hated her ever since.”
Watching Daisy clock out of her role as mom had been a bitter dose of trauma. To this very day, she hadn’t stepped back in. She only held her hand out whenever she was in need. Irish didn’t go above and beyond for her, which was why Daisy always had a speech when she did visit her.
Noble slid Irish on the side of him and turned to face her. She could only see one of his eyes since the rest of his face was shielded by darkness. The pad of his finger brushed across her cheek, urging her eyes to close as she relished his soothing touch.
“Doing all that shows how pure your heart is. I actually love that about you.”
She sighed. “Yeah, but I don't always wanna be the person with the big heart. Sometimes, I want to treat people the way they treat me.”
“I know.” He caressed her bottom lip with his thumb. “But that ain't you. You were meant to be how you are, Pumpkin.”
Irish loved that nickname. It made her feel as if she belonged, which was something she’d always strived for.
“Can I tell you something?”
“Sure.”
“I’m the same way with my mama, too. She disappointed me and I cut her off emotionally. We don't have a normal son/mother relationship, and we never will. She does help me run my company though.”
“How can you trust her with your business when she let you down in the past?”
“Because business is always first. I’m able to put my feelings to the side when it comes to my money. Other than that, I don't fuck with her, and she hates it.”
“Wow, our relationships with our mothers are really parallel.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy, right?”
“…what’s crazier is that I don't know how to rid my heart of the ill feelings for my mom.”
“You probably can’t. Some shit just is what it is. I don't try to make sense of everything in life.”
“Why is that?”
“Because I don't have that level of comprehension. God does, not me. So, me trying to find the answers to everything in life is pointless.”
Noble’s wisdom was astounding. Each time they shared a conversation, Irish took something from it and stored it inside her heart. He was a man she could learn something from if they lasted that long. She laid her hand on his hairy cheek and kissed him softly.
“We really should put an end to this,” she whispered.
He pecked her lips, pulling her naked body closer to his.
“I know.”
Noble and Irish both knew what needed to be done but no one wanted to make the first move.
They were too tangled in their sheets of passion that they couldn’t bear to walk away.
The soil was moist, and the seed had been planted.
Their harvest had bloomed into something neither one wanted to say because it would confirm that they had gone way too far.
Noble rolled her on her back, inserting his tongue inside her mouth. Her pussy was sore from the beating he’d already put on it but that didn’t stop her from opening her legs for him.
“Let me put you to sleep, Pumpkin. We can talk about that sad shit later.”
“…Okay.”
Noble plunged back into what seemed like his new favorite place and stroked all the somberness from Irish.