Chapter 18 #3
Irish had wrestled with this reality for a while, but it was time for her to be selfish.
She wanted Noble at full capacity. Not just parts of him but every fiber of his being.
His presence gave her a high that not even marijuana could rival.
The endless possibilities between them were boundless.
Irish saw her future clearly with Noble.
Marriage, children, and bliss were what she desired, and no man would suit except him.
“Okay, and I’m assuming you’ve thought about this which is why it makes you anxious.”
“Yes, but I don't want to be without my husband. I still want us to be best friends, but I know him… he won’t be happy about me severing our marital ties.”
“Then what’s the alternative?”
“The alternative is staying with my husband and keeping up this charade. The man I’m in love with made it clear that he has the same feelings for me that I have for him. I’m ready to do something that’ll make me happy.”
The tides had turned and now Irish felt differently. She wanted to prioritize her needs and be selfish without guilt. Noble was her first selfish decision.
“Then, it seems as though you’ve made a choice that you're okay with. Being anxious is normal. You're about to turn a new leaf and it’s going to change all of your lives.”
“That’s the scary part. What if my husband doesn’t want to be friends anymore? What if I let him down?”
“Well, what are you afraid of most? Letting him down or not being friends anymore?”
“Letting him down.”
“Irish, you just said you're ready to do something that’ll make you happy.”
She closed her eyes briefly. “I did.”
“Then, you need to decide if you want to choose yourself first or stay in your husband’s good graces. Either way, one of you will suffer.”
Irish thought about that theory. Being with Jovanis seemed like a reality she couldn’t stomach.
He was her confidant. Her safe haven when life got rough.
She still needed him in her life but now she needed Noble more.
Would the two men be able to exist in her world?
Irish wasn’t certain and that’s what terrified her.
“I believe we talked about hard decisions last time. Sometimes in life, we have to make difficult choices that will disappoint people. If you can live with your husband’s disappointment, I say go for what you want.
If you can’t, then you need to take a deeper look into why you don't like letting people down and choose to suppress your own desires.”
Irish gulped hard, knowing her trauma played a part on why she hated disappointing others.
“I know. I’ve been running from my past for a while now.”
“And it’s best to confront it so you can make sound decisions in the future. In the meantime, if you feel this is necessary, then do it. If you don't, then take a step back and hold off on it.”
“I don't want to hold off. I want to be with the man I love.”
Irish was one hundred percent confident in her decision to choose Noble. She just hoped Jovanis would understand her choice.
“Well, you sound like your mind is made up, Ms. Irish. I hope everything works out in your favor.”
“Thank you for listening, Carrie.”
“No problem. If you need to talk, don't hesitate to stop by.”
“I won’t. Have a good night.”
Irish hung up and stepped out of the booth. She noticed the sun had set, casting an orange glow over the city. While walking back to her car, she pulled her phone out and dialed Noble.
“What’s up, Pumpkin?”
She smiled every time his deep tone graced her ears.
“I’m surprised you didn’t fuss at me for calling you.”
“I made an exception for you. What you need?”
“I just… I want to know if you're serious about us.”
Noble huffed. “Haven't I been showing you that I’m serious? Stop acting crazy, Irish.”
“I only asked because I’ve decided to tell Jovanis about us, but I want to make sure you're going to be in my corner. I don't want you to leave me hanging since I’m possibly going to ruin my friendship.”
“I got you and I mean that shit. Do what you gotta do. You don't have to worry about me not having your back, Pumpkin. I promise I’m here.”
She exhaled just as she sat down inside her car. “Okay, I need to be with you one more time before I do it. Is that cool?”
“Yeah. Meet me at the condo.”
“Okay, I’m going to stop at home first.”
“A’ight, baby.”
Irish ended the call and started her engine.
She drove home, listening to Olivia Dean’s acoustic version of Dive while allowing her soothing tone to calm her nerves.
How ironic that this song expressed the feelings she possessed for Noble.
It almost made her teary eyed because their love was so freeing and bound by nothing.
By the time Irish made it to her home, it was dark outside. Getting out, she made the short walk up the walkway and opened the door. As soon as she passed the threshold, her body was snatched by the collar of her shirt.
“What the fuck?”
Before Irish could process what was going on, her back was slammed against the wall.
The scent of his liquored breath hit her before his cold gaze did.
Irish had witnessed Jovanis in this form before.
The one where anger took over his entire system.
Words wouldn’t be able to penetrate him in this state.
Only blood would calm the furious side that she now faced.
“Out of all the niggas to fuck with, you chose, Noble? You really fucking him, Irish?”
To be continued...