Chapter 13
Storm
She’s been at the clubhouse with me, or I’ve been here and I can’t say that I don’t like that shit because I do. It took a bit for Kenz to feel comfortable with me being in her space, but now that I’ve been there, she seems fine with it.
The two of us have gotten closer, talking more, and I think I like that part the best. I like knowing all about Kenz and what she likes and doesn’t like.
But I also know there’s still some fear in her, and that part pisses me off.
I don’t want her afraid, but after what happened to her dad, I know that fear will always linger there until we get all of the motherfuckers that did this to him.
I hear sobbing when I stand from Kenzee’s bed and walk to the bathroom door. I knock lightly, and the sobbing quickly stops.
“Open the door,” I demand. At first, she doesn’t, but then slowly it opens, and I see her tearstained face. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Kenz, don’t. What happened?”
“It would have been his birthday,” she says softly, and it all hits me. Her dad. It would have been his birthday today. I motion for her to come to me, and she does, wrapping her arms around my waist and nuzzling her face in my chest.
“He was a good man.”
“I know. He did everything he could for me.”
“You know he’d be proud of you, Kenz.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because you’re a great person. He raised you right, darlin’. He’s lookin’ down at you and smilin’ right now.” Now she laughs a little, and it makes my heart swell. I know she needs this. She needs to hear it, and I’ll be the one to tell her over and over again because it’s what she deserves.
“You were really wild last night in your sleep,” she tells me. She pulls back, wiping her face as I look down at her.
“I get like that at times.”
“From prison?”
“Not just prison.”
“What else?” I shake my head. There’s no way I can tell her that. “No secrets, Storm. You said it yourself.”
“It’s his birthday, Kenz. You don’t wanna hear this,” I tell her. Her face pales, but she nods her head anyway.
“Yeah, I do.” We both walk over and sit on the edge of the bed before I grab her hand in mine and hold it in my lap.
“The call went out. Your dad, he called right after he must have sent you to hide. I was closest to the house,” I tell her.
“Really? But you weren’t the one who found me,” she adds.
“No. I, uh, I found him.”
“Oh my God.”
“I got there as fast as I could. Fuck, I was only about ten minutes away, and by the time I got there, they were all gone. I would have killed them, Kenz. Every one of them, if they were still there but they weren’t. I had my gun pulled and ready. I walked in the front door, and there he was.”
“You saw it all,” she whispers.
“Yeah. Every single thing.”
“Storm,” she whispers before standing and climbing into my lap. “I’m so sorry. You were just a kid back then.”
“I’d seen a lot more than that as a kid, but that was probably the worst of it all,” I admit to her.
“And you still see it?”
“In my dreams. It’s like being back there all over again and findin’ him again. Your uncle came in not long after me, and he lost it. The others went in search of you, but I couldn’t handle it. I had to leave. I had to get the fuck outta there.”
“I don’t know what to say.”
“Nothin’. There’s nothin’ to say. I want you to know that what they did to him, I’m gonna do worse to them, Kenzee and I don’t want you to be a part of that. You’re not a killer.”
“I can’t sit back and not do something, Storm!” Now she’s out of my lap, pacing the floor.
“Yeah, you can. You can let the club handle this. Let us take this on because you don’t want to have these fuckin’ dreams, Kenz.” She turns to look at me, and I can see that fire in her eyes.
“You think I can’t handle it?”
“I think you shouldn’t have to. You lived through this shit once, baby. There’s no reason for you to do it again.”
“This is bullshit. You trained me, Storm!”
“I know I did. And I’m gonna keep trainin’ you if that means you can defend yourself but this isn’t you. Killin’ people? That isn’t you. You don’t want to live with what that does to a person, Kenz. Trust me.”
I still live with every single kill in my head.
Even as a kid, I knew what the fuck I was doing and at the time I didn’t care.
It meant nothing to me to watch the life drain out of someone else.
It meant nothing to me to see the blood on my hands, but as I grew up, there was something heavier sitting on my chest. Something deeper to what I’d done, and now I can’t get past that.
I see it. In my dreams mostly, but I see it.
And when I look at the guys and now at Kenz, I can’t imagine losing one of them the way someone else lost someone to my hands.
I know who I am, don’t get me wrong. I’m a killer, but I guess you could say I’m a killer with a conscience now.
The kill needs to mean something, something more than it did back then.
“So now you’re going to take away my right to kill them?” I shove off the bed and move to stand in front of her, watching her.
“You think your heart can handle that? Takin’ a life?”
“For him, yeah. For my dad, I can do it.”
“You think that’s what he would have wanted? You out there killin’ people?”
“It doesn’t matter what he might have wanted. This is what’s going to happen, Storm. I need some kind of closure. Don’t you get that?”
“I do get it, but I also know what that comes with. Holdin’ that shit inside, knowin’ what you did. It fuckin’ kills you, Kenz. Bit by bit, piece by piece. It will fuckin’ eat you alive.” She doesn’t care. I can see the look in her eyes, she doesn’t care. At least not right now.
“You tellin’ me you’re good with what you saw me to do, Kristy?” I ask her. She looks up at me and slowly shakes her head.
“No.”
“But you think you can handle killin’ someone else?” I ask her. I see the tears in her eyes, and it breaks a part of me. I hate to see her like this, but I get it.
“Storm,” she whispers. I reach for her, cupping her cheek in my hand as I look her in the eyes.
“The club will handle them. I can promise you that much. Not a single fuckin’ one of them will walk away from this, Kenz.” She blinks rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling as she looks at me.
“Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I’ll let the club handle it.” I lean down and press a kiss to her lips before grabbing her hand and dragging her out of the room and down to the living room.
“What are we doing?”
“Eatin’. I’m starvin’.” She laughs as I pull my phone from my pocket, ready to call and place an order. But we don’t get that far.