38
We return to Amery just as everyone is waking up. I’m not sure if anyone notices that we’ve spent the night in the company of an underground resistance, but no one stops us or remarks on our absence.
Possibly because they’re too busy dealing with the destruction from last night.
The hit we saw from the Storm Tower decimated the plaza in front of the building, carving a hole in the side of Amery large enough to fit five people shoulder to shoulder.
Dust hangs in the air, and construction crews are already swarming over the site.
We skip breakfast in favor of a shower and a bit of rest before we head to our classes.
Dr. Eze said that we must keep up appearances and move through our days as though everything is normal.
I think she suspects we’re withholding information, but she’s giving us some time and space to figure out how to share it.
I drag myself through biology, trying not to fall asleep. The day ends with history, where I find myself sitting alone in an empty row of seats.
Rook said he was too tired to attend, and I haven’t seen Journey or Domino all day. Either they’re sleeping . . . or they’re avoiding me. After what they learned about me last night, I wouldn’t be surprised.
The thought of losing the only two friends I have left makes my stomach feel like it’s buzzing with a swarm of frenzied bees.
I wonder again about my place in this life and this city. When I was in the Veil, I thought I needed to return. Partly for Domino and Journey, but if they no longer want anything to do with me, then what’s the point?
After what happened on the Storm Tower last night, I’m no longer sure that becoming a Breaker makes sense. I’ve always assumed I’d be safe enough with a Spark wand in my hand, and it’s obvious that several Keepers are managing the job while hiding in plain sight, but . . . I’m not a Keeper.
If we find the cure, Rook is leaving New Manhattan. I love him, but we have our entire lives ahead of us. His father will never accept me, no matter what Rook claims. Can I truly leave everything I’ve ever known on the promise of a future that isn’t really possible?
A squeal of delight drags me out of my gloomy thoughts.
“Skies, look at the size of that rock!” someone exclaims as I glance up to find Winter Jenkins and some other members of House Fiama taking their seats a few rows below me.
Winter is surrounded by a group of girls as she shows off what is clearly a sizeable engagement ring on her finger.
I guess it’s official, then. She’s marrying Knox.
Silver and Hazel join the circle of her admirers to ooh and aah. I remember when they once claimed they couldn’t stand Winter. How quickly loyalty shifts in this place.
When Winter notices me watching, she turns and grins, thrusting her hand under my nose.
“Have you heard?” she asked. “Knox and I are engaged!”
She plasters on a smile, and I can tell she’s waiting for my reaction.
Suddenly, the room grows very quiet as I sense every eye falling on us.
Everyone knows our history. Everyone knows I defected from my House last year.
Do they understand that I did this on purpose? Do they think I still want to marry Knox?
“It’s beautiful,” I say, genuinely meaning it. It is a stunning ring. “I hope you’re very happy together.”
I blink down at her and smile, but she frowns.
Clearly, this wasn’t the reaction she was hoping for.
“The wedding planning is in full swing,” she says. “The Ardens are sparing no expense. After all, it’s not every day the scion’s daughter gets married.”
My brow furrows at that. I remember my father mentioning something about a leadership vote, but as far as I’m aware, it hasn’t happened yet. Either she’s confident about the outcome or she knows something I don’t.
She probably thinks I care if my father is ousted in favor of Cameron Jenkins.
“You’re absolutely right,” I say. “I’m sure it’ll be a spectacular event.”
“You should come,” she says. “So you can watch me and Knox tie the knot.”
I open my mouth and then close it. “Should I?”
“Of course. Everyone at Amery is invited.” She sweeps out a hand as whispers erupt around the room.
I’m sure their wedding will be grand and that everyone will want to attend.
I search inside myself, looking for any trace of remorse for the life I gave up.
Is there any part of me that wishes I were in her place?
It’s then that someone else appears, and I look over to see Knox, Jackson, and Sal entering the room.
“Knox!” Winter calls, waving him over. “I saved you a seat!”
Knox looks at her and then at me, his jaw hardening. Slowly, he approaches. It seems like he’s healed from his injuries during the tunnel collapse.
“I was just showing Poet my ring,” she says, leaning against him. “You should tell her the story of how you proposed. It was so romantic.”
Knox’s frown deepens. “I doubt she wants to hear it.”
“Oh, of course she does. Every girl loves a romantic story!” She offers me a fake smile. “Right, Poet?”
“Sure,” I say. Honestly, I am a bit curious. Knox doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body, so what did he do?
“I think class is starting soon,” Knox says.
He’s annoyed, but I can’t figure out why.
Maybe because Winter is making a spectacle of them both.
She’s obviously trying to make me jealous, but if she understood a single thing about me, she would know it’s pointless.
The only reason I ever cared about Knox’s infidelity was that it made everyone pity me.
“Oh, you’re no fun,” Winter says, then turns to me and eyes me up. “But you’re with the Solitude, aren’t you?” Her eyes sparkle, a clear signal that she’s moved on from trying to induce envy to simply embarrassing me.
“I am,” I say, refusing to be anything but certain about Rook.
“Can you imagine what their wedding would be like?” she asks Silver, tossing her head back with a laugh.
Then I understand.
What she really wants is to remind everyone how far I’ve fallen in the eyes of Society.
She wants to assert herself as queen bee.
So I let her.
This costs me nothing, and I truly don’t care about their hierarchy anymore. Not that I ever really did. If I end up leaving with Rook, none of this will have ever mattered.
My future in New Manhattan may be murky and uncertain.
But Winter’s will remain unchanged.
And maybe I pity her for that.
“Nothing like yours, I’m sure,” I say. “Congrats to you both.”
Then I offer them my most sincere smile. Honestly, I’m happy for them. They deserve each other, and I hope Knox will treat Winter better than he ever treated me. He offers me a look that suggests he doesn’t trust what I’m saying, but I’m so beyond caring what he thinks anymore.
“Class is starting,” I say as Professor McCarthy, our history teacher, enters the room. Knox, Winter, and everyone else are forced to find their seats as the teacher calls for their attention.
Once everyone is settled and facing the front of the room, I blow out a long breath. Just another hour and I can get some sleep.
As Professor McCarthy begins her lecture, Knox turns back to look at me, his brows drawing together. He looks like he wants to say something but doesn’t know what.
It’s like I’ve been caught in a spider’s web my entire life, bound by silk strands that I’ve been slowly snipping, one by one. As I focus on the lesson, I mentally cut away the final threads that once gave Knox Arden power over me.
Now, I’m free of him for good, and I have nothing to say to him ever again.
After a solid night’s sleep, Rook and I head to Storm Guard training, talking in low voices about what to do next.
The biggest question is how much we should reveal to the Fog.
They might be able to help us, and they’d definitely want to know about a cure.
Most pressingly, they might be able to help us find Edward.
We enter the gym to discover Henry hasn’t returned to Amery. He must still be recovering from his night on the Tower. When I catch Brooklyn’s eye, she crosses the room and says in a low voice, “He’ll be back next week.”
Suddenly, I grow dizzy.
It’s a punch to the sternum.
I’m overwhelmed with everything that’s happened over the past two days.
I’ve been alone with this secret for so many years.
Then I found Rook, and everything changed.
The Veil showed me there is another way.
And now, discovering there are people within these city walls trying to help is shifting all of my foundations yet again.
It feels like surfacing from the bottom of a lake and inhaling properly for the very first time.
Rook places a hand on the small of my back. “How are you feeling?”
I sag against him. “I’m not sure.”
He kisses me on the temple. “I wish I could tell you everything will be okay.”
I offer him a grim smile before I head to the mat where Domino and Journey are standing. They watch me as I approach, their expressions pinched with worry. After being betrayed by my best friend, I’m so desperate to believe in them right now.
“Hi,” I say, deciding we may as well get this over with. If they’re planning to reject me, then let’s rip off this bandage, skin and all.
Domino and Journey share a look, and my fists clench, bracing for impact.
Will they turn away? Will they pretend I don’t exist? Will they call me out right here? Scream for the Extinguishers roaming the halls? All it would take is a single accusation, and I’d be back in a cell before I could blink. Nothing would save me this time.
“Hi,” Domino says.
She steps closer, wringing her hands and then wiping them on her thighs.
Another step.
Then . . . she rushes toward me, throws her arms around my neck, and hugs me tight.
It takes me a few seconds to process it.
Tears prick my eyes because she doesn’t need to say anything. I understand what she’s trying to tell me. I can’t believe I doubted her for even a moment. Journey comes next, wrapping her arms around us and squeezing us both into a tight hug.
“We love you,” Domino whispers, and it’s all I can do not to completely fall apart.
When we all pull away, several people give us curious looks, and Rook watches us with a pleased smile. Domino and Journey head toward him next and don’t give him a chance to speak before he’s subjected to the double-hug treatment.
The surprise on Rook’s face is priceless, and I burst out laughing before Domino and Journey do, too. More quizzical looks circle the room, but I don’t care. I don’t know if I’ve ever been so relieved.
“Okay,” Brooklyn says, approaching from behind. “No idea what’s gotten into all of you weirdos, but can we get to work?” She offers me a wink, and I know that she understands what just happened, too.
Brooklyn assigns us all to a mat, and Domino grabs my elbow. “Can we talk more about it later?”
“I’m sure you have questions,” I say.
She shakes her head. “Only ones that ensure your well-being.”
“Yours, too,” I say. “I promise you’re safe with us.”
She squeezes my arm. “I never doubted that for a second.”
A hand lands on my shoulder, and I turn to find Journey giving me a serious look. “You know we’d stand by you no matter what, okay?”
Then they both walk away, and I wipe the corner of my eye with the back of my hand, realizing that I finally chose the right friends for the first time in my life.