48
After that night, rumors circulate that Garret Dire has been stripped of his title and banished from the Extinguishers. They must have learned that his key card was used the night we broke Edward out of the Tempestade.
Do I feel bad about it? Not really.
Trinity messages me occasionally, but I ignore her texts. We don’t need her anymore, and I never intended to forgive her.
At Ada’s insistence, we all settle back into our normal routines, waiting for what’s next.
Henry takes a leave of absence from Amery to work with the Fog on plans to locate the research facility and Dr. Mowry.
I want to see Edward and let him know how his mom is doing, but we can’t risk another visit yet.
Brooklyn assures me she’ll pass along the message.
I hope that once the cure is found, Edward can leave New Manhattan with a clear conscience. His mother is safe and cared for, and though I know he’ll miss her, he can use his talents to help the Tiera Frais. He won’t be forced into Society’s box. Maybe he can find happiness.
I reach out to my mother, and finally, she responds. I guess my father finally allowed her to resume contact with me.
We plan to have lunch at one of her favorite fancy places. I put on a dress made of soft purple cotton and pair it with the leather jacket that saw me across the Tiera Frais. I find I’ve become attached to it.
When I arrive at the restaurant, I give the hostess my name and find my mom already sitting at the table, staring out the window with her brows furrowed. I wonder what she’s thinking about, whether she has any idea what’s going on with my father.
I turn his words over and over in my head. He had my nanny killed. He tried to force me to hurt someone. He’s a monster.
I think he lied to me about the murders and who’s actually responsible.
Perhaps most importantly, something about the truth is scaring him.
A glass of wine sits in front of my mother, already empty, and that’s when I realize she’s probably just as nervous as I am.
When she spots me, a smile spreads over her face. Though I can tell she’s happy to see me, her thick makeup doesn’t hide how tired she looks.
After wrapping me in a big hug, she tells me to order whatever I want. When the waiter arrives, she chooses a spread of decadent appetizers for us to share, along with the rest of the bottle of wine she already started drinking.
“So,” she says, leaning in. “Tell me how you’re doing.”
I guess we’ve agreed not to bring up all the drama and turmoil of the past year.
I don’t love it, but I also don’t want to ruin this moment, so I play along while she asks me a thousand questions about school and cadet training, about Domino and Journey.
But mostly she asks about Rook. Whatever reservations she has about my being involved with a Solitude must come in second to her curiosity.
I appreciate that she’s trying to accept him, at least. It’s honestly more than I expected.
“He’s good to you?” she asks, crunching on a bite of her salad. “You’re so young, and I worry about you.”
“He is,” I say. “He’s nothing like Dad. I promise you.”
She nods, her eyes shining. “I got that sense the day I found you in the penthouse. Do I want to know what you were really doing there?”
“Probably not,” I answer. “But the reason was mine, not his.”
She offers me a penetrating look. My father thinks she’s helpless, and maybe I’ve been guilty of assuming that, too. But my mom is stronger than we give her credit for. She wouldn’t have survived her marriage otherwise.
My father asked me to take care of her, and I would protect her with my life. I thought I could leave with Rook and Edward . . . but after that conversation with my father, I’m worried. What would happen to my mom without him?
“Just be careful with your heart and your body,” she says. “I want better for you than I had. You deserve that.”
Her voice drops to a whisper as she reaches out and squeezes my hand.
“Thanks, Mom.”
That’s when I know I can’t ever leave her behind.
I could never live with myself.
If Rook finds the cure, he’s leaving New Manhattan.
He wants me to come with him, and I’ve pictured it many times.
But with or without my father, I can’t abandon my mom.
She grins at me, and I feel my smile waver, crumbling at the edges in a conflicted tangle of guilt.
And once again, I’m not sure what any of this means for my future.