Chapter 32
Broken
Nick sat on his porch, watching the night transition into day. The glances of those around him had stabbed like daggers, as if they were waiting for him to shatter into pieces right before their eyes.
They didn’t get it—none of them.
He was already broken, and had been for a long time, long before this mess started. Hell, his own parents hadn’t wanted to be around him.
Woah! What was he thinking? His parents had been irresponsible idiots. Their opinion meant nothing to him—never had. Damn, he must be more depressed than he realized.
With a grunt, he pushed up and wandered over to the coffeemaker.
In moments, the distinctive aroma of brewing coffee filled the air, rich and inviting, but it couldn’t drown out the chaos in his mind.
He poured a steaming cup and sank heavily into his desk chair, its worn leather familiar and comforting.
He needed caffeine and a swift kick to the head.
Time to stop wallowing and start thinking clearly. No more letting his heart lead the way; he summoned his usual cool, logical self.
First: Jessica. The situation wasn’t her fault, but she hadn’t left after Zach told her the truth about the invitation being a hoax. She was still hanging around, acting like a diva. It drove him crazy; he needed her out of his life for good. But how? Maybe Michael would have an idea.
The resort problems. Was someone after him specifically, this resort, or the company as a whole? The previous incidents had been frustrating but relatively minor annoyances. But this bit with Jessica? It struck him as personal, aimed at him rather than the resort itself.
Nick rubbed his forehead, tension a dull ache in his temples.
The thought slithered into his mind that Kate might be better off without him screwing things up for her.
He had been wrestling with the question of what he wanted ever since Marguerite brought it up, but he was still stuck, spinning in circles.
Did he want Kate in his life for the long haul? A flutter of hope ignited within him, his heart leaping, but it quickly soured. Did she see him? Or did she only see the image he projected?
Marguerite believed there could be something real between him and Kate.
Nick had believed that too—before Jessica came along.
Now, though, doubt crept in. Kate had accused him of playing her, and that cut deeper than anything he’d ever experienced.
He would never do something like that. The relentless gnawing sensation in his gut urged him to sort things out, yet clarity eluded him.
Marguerite insisted it was Kate’s own insecurities talking, but Nick couldn’t shake the question: What fears could someone like Kate have? She was smart, beautiful, and fiercely independent. Her career was thriving, allowing her the freedom to work on her own terms.
But then she made that comment about writing smut while he was a successful CEO. He frowned. Did she not recognize her own success? How was that possible?
His thoughts tumbled in circles, spiraling into frustration. Aargh! If only he could hear what was going on in her mind!
Nick. Zach’s growl echoed through his head.
What’s up, Zach?
Stop thinking so hard. You’re giving me a headache.
What? Confusion swirled in Nick’s mind
I can’t hear your actual thoughts, but you’re sending out a buzzing sound, like static. It’s driving me crazy.
Sorry, I didn’t realize. Shit, he’d been transmitting without knowing. Thank god it wasn’t his actual thoughts!
Don’t apologize. Just fix things. It’s simple, Nick. Can you let Kate go into someone else’s arms?
No! Kate was his!
Nick’s entire body tensed, immediately rejecting the idea. His heart hammered in his chest, each beat echoing the panic swirling inside him as the question hit him like an icy wave.
Thoughts crashed through his mind, but he forced himself to breathe, forced his trembling muscles to relax as he straightened his fingers one by one.
The answer appeared absurdly simple, yet the weight of his fear pressed on him.
Doubt, thick and bitter, pooled in his mouth. But he had to move past it.
Thanks, Zach. I don’t suppose you know where Kate is, do you?
Saw her head for the beach a few minutes ago. Now go away and stop bothering me.
Gratitude washed through him. Zach always knew what to say.
Time to find Kate, time to confront what terrified him most.
Nick raced down the stairs, heart pounding with urgency as he crossed the lawn to the beach. The cool morning air brushed against his face while his emotions swirled in a weird mix of hope and anxiety.
Her prints in the sand led away to the north—away from his side of the house. He pushed the thought away—it was doubtful she’d done it purposefully. People instinctively veer right; it didn’t mean anything.
Relief washed over him when his eyes landed on her. She sat alone on a rock at the cove’s edge, the salty breeze ruffling her hair, eyes fixed on the endless expanse of water. Each step toward her weighed heavier than the last. Hopefully, she wouldn’t run when he approached.
How should he start this conversation? Where was the beginning? Jessica, or the whirlwind of emotions that spiraled through him?
His mind raced, making it hard to focus as he reached the end of the beach and Kate’s rock without realizing it.
Kate remained poised on the rock, lost in the horizon, with her knees drawn up and arms wrapped around them. Had she noticed him?
She glanced back over her shoulder. “Good morning, Nick.” Her voice fell flat, devoid of emotion, leaving him grappling with clawing doubts. What was she thinking? Did she feel as lost as he did?
“May I join you? I owe you an explanation.” Nick fought to keep his voice steady, unshed emotions threatening to spill. The last thing he wanted was to put any pressure on her; she was the innocent one in all of this.
Her sigh was soft and almost weary. “Sure.”
With little effort, he climbed up the rock and settled beside her, the cool surface pressing against him as he angled himself to gaze out over the view. What did she see out there? His heart raced a little as he turned to her. “Will you listen?”
For a moment, their eyes connected. Something flickered in her eyes before she dropped them to her hands, where they wrapped and unwrapped around her legs. “Yes, I’ll listen.” Her voice held steady, but it didn’t disguise the tension beneath her calm exterior.
“I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just dive in.
I didn’t invite Jessica here, or Jessa, as she’s apparently calling herself now.
I do know her; our parents were friends once.
They used to joke about marrying our families together, but that was light years ago.
” He swallowed hard. “We were kids then, and honestly, I never gave any credence to the idea. I never dated her. I did escort her to a charity gala a few weeks back at her request, but it was only to help an old family friend. It meant nothing.”
Nick tried to gauge Kate’s reaction, but her expression remained so blank his stomach twisted. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension, but it only amplified his nerves.
“She got the invitation to come here by email, so David hacked in and got a copy. It came from a spoofed email, not from mine. Of course, Jessica wouldn’t know better.
David is trying to track it back to whoever sent it.
” He gulped a breath before continuing. “It’s logical to think it came from the same LLC that paid Victoria, or the same people, anyway.
We think it was meant as a distraction for me.
We’re guessing they hadn’t heard we’d supposedly left the resort when it was sent. ”
He paused again, stomach knotting as he again tried to read her reaction. She focused on the horizon, leaving miles of distance between them. Taking a deep breath, he braced himself for the hard part.
“As for us, regardless of everything that’s happened, you asked a fair question. Where do I see us going? I’ve been thinking about it for the past couple of days, which is why I didn’t come find you sooner. You deserve an honest answer.”
Nick shifted his gaze away from her, looking out over the water, the waves lapping against the shore. It was easier to speak if he didn’t analyze every fleeting emotion crossing her face.
“If someone had asked me that before all the chaos with Jessica, I would’ve brushed it off, said I didn’t do relationships, called it a fling.
I never planned on anything serious; I never trusted anyone enough to let them in.
But now? I’ve shared things with you that I’ve never told another.
I want something real. I want to give us a genuine shot.
You’re special, Kate. I really want to try—us, together. ”
Anxiety bubbled up inside him as he waited for her response. The silence stretched on, heavy and uncomfortable. “Kate?” he called softly, his heart racing as he searched for any sign of her reaction.
She dropped her head onto her arms, her confusion palpable in the air between them. When she turned to face him, her expression revealed a mix of uncertainty and anguish. “I don’t know what to say, Nick. I wanted that too, before, when I wasn’t thinking, only feeling. Now I’m just confused.”
“I did hear what you said about Jessica, and I do believe you. I also owe you a major apology for not giving you a chance to explain before. Everyone should have the right to defend themselves.” Her voice shook, and he glimpsed the strain in her eyes.
She sighed and looked down at her twisting hands again. “But Nick, you’re never photographed more than once with the same woman, and they are always gorgeous. They are never ordinary people like me, just trying to make a living. We have nothing in common.”
Her words punched into him, the sting acute.
He swallowed hard. “You’re right,” he said, his voice steadier than he felt.
“I was a player in that regard, but I never cheated on anyone. I always made it clear that I was not looking for a relationship, and they would get nothing from me other than a good time.”
He took a breath, gathering his thoughts. “As for you, there is nothing ordinary about you, Kate. You are gorgeous, smart, and caring.”
He studied her beautiful features, the way her brow furrowed as she processed his words. Every second stretched; Nick wished she could see herself the way he did. “Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life,” he added, hoping to break through that wall of doubt that shadowed her.
“You mentioned something the other day about us being from different worlds. It may be true, but that doesn’t have to stand between us. Look at my family. Marguerite was our butler. David was an orphan, about to be homeless, and Zach and his mom were struggling in poverty.”
He searched her face. “Now, we’re one big, messy family. Our backgrounds don’t define us, Kate. It’s where we choose to go from here that matters. Just because we come from different places doesn’t mean we can’t share the same space going forward.”
Seeing the stress in her beautiful eyes made a knot form in his stomach. He hated that he was the cause of her upset.
“I won’t pressure you. Just… think about it.
” Leaning over, he pressed a quick kiss to her temple, then slid down off the rock.
“I took the last couple of days to do my own soul-searching, to confront my fears. I’ve always been afraid that nobody would see the real me—and love me for who I am under the public mask.
But you know what? I’ve finally realized that’s just leftover nonsense from my parents. ”
He looked up at her, voice steady. “I have an amazing family now. People who chose to be there for me and have stuck by me through everything. There’s room for more in that family too, if you’re willing to take the leap.”
He offered her one last small smile before turning toward home, a turmoil of hope and fear twisting inside.