Chapter 9
9
With Hawk next to her— close to her—this was panning out to be the tempest of the decade in multiple ways. But she had to admit she appreciated the warmth his body provided in addition to the blanket. Exhaustion threatened—tromping through the woods in the raging wind and rain really took it out of her, and she fought the need to lean her head against his very broad and adequate shoulder and close her eyes. Soak up even more heat. But he’d asked a question, and she owed an explanation, didn’t she?
Except Remi didn’t have the answers.
What. Is. Going. On?
I wish I knew.
Squeezing her eyes shut, she sighed. How did she tell this complete stranger that for some inexplicable reason he had triggered something forgotten in her? She needed time and space to think, which was hard to do when she was taking refuge with Hawk, cozying up to him. For survival reasons, of course, and nothing more. Nestled so close she could practically feel the strength and power contained in those muscles, which should have felt awkward but instead made her feel safe and comfortable. Maybe she was too tired to care about the proximity. But she really should care because she needed to know if she could trust him.
She opened her eyes and angled toward him. “To be honest, I kind of hoped you were the one to leave the puzzle pieces, then I’d have answers because you would tell me what was going on.”
He huffed a laugh. “And why would you even think I had anything to do with it?”
She lifted one shoulder, though he probably couldn’t see. “I don’t know. I guess because you showed up at the same time as the attacks, and on the same day as a puzzle piece had been hand delivered.”
“Anything else going on that you haven’t told me? I need context. For one thing, you mentioned you came here to remember. What did you mean?”
Oh, Lord ... what if me being here with him is not a good thing? How would she know? But shoot if she didn’t want to trust this guy. He’d shown himself trustworthy, if that counted for anything. And maybe God was watching out for her by sending Hawk just when she needed a little help.
Because with missing days lost to her, days surrounding something vitally important, she was all alone in this, and she didn’t feel like she could even trust herself. Her own mind had betrayed her.
“The night isn’t getting any younger,” he said. “And as soon as the storm dies down to catch its breath, we need to try to make it back to the lodge and hope Masked Man isn’t so stupid to sit out there and wait for us. You might not get another chance to tell me—at least one in which we can be sure no one else is going to hear.”
Hawk was a man of reason. And she desperately wanted to talk to someone. She’d hoped to meet with Dr. Holcomb again, but that wasn’t happening anytime soon.
Lord, let him be one of the good guys, please.
“The two pieces of a puzzle came separately. The first one was mailed and included a card that simply said, ‘remember.’ The second one was hand delivered and also included a small card that told me to remember before it’s too late.”
She waited a few breaths to let that sink in.
“Go on,” Hawk said.
“When you pulled me from that cliff, your hand triggered a flashback. A memory.”
“So, you lost some memories? See, I didn’t know. I’m sorry. What do you remember?”
“Nothing. I lost almost a week. Five days, really.”
“What were you doing at the time?” he asked. “I need a lot more details here.”
Where did she even start. The details felt so convoluted. She shared about being a former military photographer and then deciding against reenlisting and traveling instead. Being at a café, then waking up in the hospital. About the man questioning her at the hospital and then following her back to the States.
“So, did you go to the police, the FBI?”
“What would I say, exactly, that wouldn’t make me sound paranoid and make myself a target? I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone else.”
“I wasn’t questioning your decision. I completely understand it. How did you end up here at Cedar Trails Lodge?”
She snorted a laugh. “I had to disappear. Get lost. It’s almost impossible anymore. I withdrew as much money as I could from the bank. Bought the old Bronco and then went on a long road trip. I took the back roads and did my best to avoid being tracked. I used a different name, an alias, everywhere I went and paid cash. I found my way to the Puget Sound region. Mom and I had always wanted to see it, and so, with no place to go, that’s where I headed. I knew I needed to talk to someone. Get some help, and I found Dr. Holcomb because she accepted cash patients. I told her everything, well, because she’s a doctor and our conversations are private. I needed her help if I was going to find out what was going on.”
“And?”
“And I met with her for a year and a half, but nothing was resolved, and so about six months ago, I just stopped going.”
“What did she say about your amnesia?”
Remi shared everything Dr. Holcomb had said, adding, “She said that usually, our brains will block out memories to protect us when something simply too horrible to comprehend has happened.” Her words echoed off the concrete walls and made her story sound even more ominous. “She said that it could be that I know something, and someone doesn’t want me to remember.”
Hawk said nothing for a while, and Remi figured he might be thinking the same things she wondered. Why not just kill her in the hospital? Why let her walk out and walk free? Maybe he had those thoughts, but he didn’t say them out loud.
“But how did you end up here?”
“You mean Cedar Trails Lodge?”
“Yes.”
“Dr. Holcomb had a reservation for two weeks and something came up, so she gave it to me. Said maybe the time spent in peace and quiet would help me to heal. Now that I know more about the place, I see that she thought I could find refuge here. And she was right. The woman who owns the place—Evelyn Monroe—she offers a safe place for a few of us.”
“Us? There’s more?”
“Yeah. Please don’t ask me who else because I don’t know. I only suspect.”
“And you’re running the place after only a short time.”
“Well, I have experience running a bed-and-breakfast. I grew up on a small farm in Nebraska. When Dad died, Mom sold the farm to pay the agriculture loans he took out to maintain the farm. I know that sounds so cliché, but it happens. She had just enough money left over to invest in a new business—one she’d always wanted to try. She put a down payment on a home on the outskirts of Omaha. We turned it into a bed-and-breakfast. It was fun for a while, and we got to meet a lot of interesting people. In fact, that’s kind of how I ended up in Zarovia.”
“Zarovia, as in the Eastern European country?”
She laughed. “Yes. An older couple from Zarovia had stayed with us and shared all their stories. They invited Mom and me to come and visit them. What a pipe dream, but they obviously planted a seed. So, when Mom died, I failed to keep the place going and decided I wanted to do something else. I was lost, really.”
“I’m sorry this happened to you, Remi.”
“I’d always pass the Army recruiter office when I went in to grab groceries, and one day he was standing outside and caught me. We talked a bit, and he asked what I wanted to do in life. I told him I wanted to travel the world. I’d never seen anything but Nebraska, but I wanted to see much more, and that’s when he talked me into joining the Army. Said I could see the world. With no one to keep me in Nebraska, I enlisted that day. I eventually served as a military photographer, and I wanted to be a combat photographer, but I ended up taking staged photos for public relations purposes when I’d wanted to be on the front lines. I decided once my time was up, I’d see the world on my own and maybe start a travel blog.”
Those memories were bright in her mind, clear as a bell, as if they happened just yesterday. “So, when I came to Cedar Trails and stayed at the lodge, I don’t know. I started taking photographs. Losing myself in the beauty. The ocean waves reminded me of the amber waves of grain in Nebraska—like in the song. I’ve seen those waves. Mom had a Scripture plaque on the wall at our bed-and-breakfast—‘For I am the L ORD your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar,’ Isaiah 51:15. It would always make people ask because we weren’t anywhere near the ocean. Those waves of grain were so mesmerizing. Anyway, an opening for a barista came up and I was experienced, so I took that job and made myself useful.”
Those had actually been such good times. She’d been happy at Cedar Trails, pretending that she belonged and that the shadows of the past weren’t chasing her.
“Eventually, Mrs. Monroe decided that she wanted me to run the place. But right now, I feel like I’m failing her. Some guests come to stay at the lodge, but a few come here looking for refuge, sent by others who know it can be a place to hide. There’s no internet or Wi-Fi or cell, and it’s just so remote. Probably the closest thing to a deserted island.”
Guilt surged through her for telling him so much and possibly compromising others hiding at Cedar Trails Lodge.
Her flashlight flickered. Shoot, they were running out of batteries.
“So, someone has found you now,” he said. “How did that happen?”
“I don’t know. But I figured that it was just a matter of time.”
The wind rattled the door, jarring her. When would the storm give them a reprieve? Let them escape the bunker?
“I’m in this with you now, Remi. I’ll see you through it, if you’ll let me.”
Unless she was imagining it, his voice sounded tender, caring in a much deeper way than she would expect from a man she had known for a day. But she craved that connection. Remi reached for his hand and squeezed.
Blustery gusts swooped under the cracks, hitting her in the face. A cold slap in the face—that’s exactly what she’d needed. She had to get out of this immediate proximity to Hawk Beckett. She released his hand and threw off the blanket.
Standing, she stretched her legs and immediately missed the warmth of his nearness. “We should get going soon, even if the storm doesn’t quit.”
“What is it, a mile to the lodge from here?”
“Give or take.” A mile sounded so far at this moment.
“Okay. We can do it. We have to.” He stood too and switched on his flashlight. “One more question, Remi, before we get going.” Frown lines deepened in his face. He knelt to pick up the blanket, then stuffed it in his duffel. “Do you think the attacks on you earlier today were related? Someone doesn’t want you to remember?”
“I wish I knew.”
“You were right to disappear, but now that you’ve been found, what do you want to do next?”
“Go see Dr. Holcomb.”
He sent her a half-grin. “We have to get out of this bunker first.”
She wanted to trust him, but she wasn’t doing him any favors bringing him along into what was looking like a dangerous situation. She’d had time to prepare for this day. She should have expected some kind of physical threat, but she hadn’t understood the level of danger that she was in since she had no idea what had taken place during those lost days.
She would give this guy an out—his chance to be free and clear of her troubles. “Look, Hawk, I appreciate your help today, really, but this isn’t your battle, and you don’t have to help me.”
“Sure I do.”
“Why would you go to all this trouble for me? You don’t even know me. Forget that I don’t even know you.”
He took a step closer and gazed down at her. “You know me, Remi. I’m the guy who’s going to help you get your memories back.”