Chapter 30
30
And that’s why they needed to hand this off to someone else as soon as possible. Hawk had been pulled into this quagmire from two directions that had intersected.
Remi and Cole.
“I hope that John is recovering, because he knows about this,” Hawk said. “He needs to know what you just told me.”
John could be off the project now, but he was their best chance at containment.
“So, you want me to tell your former CO, John, what I’ve remembered.” She almost sounded incredulous.
That confused him. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“He questioned me. He followed me.”
“And there’s a good reason for that. Did he explain that to you? I heard you talking.”
She shrugged and shook her head. “He said he was protecting me.”
“You sound like you don’t believe him.”
“I don’t know what to believe.”
“Well, what we do know is that John is connected to this through his intelligence contacts. It seems to me he protected you.” If John had sent Hawk there for that purpose, he could have informed him. That didn’t sit right with him, but there were too many moving parts right now. He knew for sure that Cole was a big part of the chaos.
“But can you trust John, Hawk? We need to be absolutely sure.”
“I’m as positive we can trust John Marshall as I can ever be about anything. And handing this off is the best thing we can do. You can get back to your life.” He hoped. Remi had been put in a precarious situation by this Sergei Petrov. What had the guy been thinking? What an idiot. Scientists could be idiots, couldn’t they? He clearly was unaccustomed to clandestine operations and had dumped all the secretive intel on Remi, a civilian, because of proximity, fear, and pressure.
Once Remi was out of danger, then Hawk could focus solely on Cole. For what purpose, he was no longer sure. When John had given him the intel that Cole had gone to the dark side, Hawk had held on to hope that the information was inaccurate. But Remi’s story confirmed that Cole had been involved with this Sergei business from the start. He wasn’t simply a hired assassin. He could even be working with Whitman. Maybe it had been the plan to take the helicopter down before Petrov was in American hands. But they were missing a lot of information to know the reasons the extraction had been sabotaged.
“Can I really get my life back?” she asked. “How do you suggest I do that? Because from where I’m sitting, I don’t see it.”
“If we can hand this off and somehow transfer the information that makes you the target, then you can go back to your lodge and still be there at the height of storm-watching season.”
Yeah. He was dreaming. When did things ever go that right? But a person had to dream sometimes to make it through.
“I’ll think about it,” she said. “But before I talk to him, I want to know more about it. I want to do some research of my own. What if there’s something more? Something else I need to do? Some agency I need to provide with this vital information?”
“I agree,” he said.
“You do?” She arched a brow as if agreement from him was foreign to her.
“Yes. That’s why...” He steered through the gated community of his condo.
“We’re back at your place?” she huffed. “Why? This place is already compromised.”
“Cole is on the run. I know my brother. He isn’t going to come back here.”
Could Hawk be absolutely positive about that? He hadn’t thought Cole would find it to begin with. And he didn’t miss Remi averting her gaze right after the slight roll of her eyes.
“How safe could it be if he found you and was able to break in?”
“While that’s a good point, it’s the safest place at the moment. And we’re here. You think because Cole has changed and he’s so different now that I don’t know him?”
Now that he said the words out loud, he doubted them. He didn’t truly know Cole. He didn’t understand what was going on. Regardless, he had already reviewed footage from the cameras around the area on his burner smartphone. Nothing. He did it again in case something had changed since he’d last checked. Usually he got an alert, but that didn’t always work. They should be safe here for the time being. His brother wasn’t here. According to his cameras, Cole hadn’t approached the condo. The suspicious vehicle that had set Hawk on edge had finally left. No one besides the few usual tenants who’d snatched up a condo deal in the old renovated warehouse had entered the parking lot.
They got out of the vehicle, climbed the stairs, and entered the condo.
Remi had to be reeling from the sudden burst of total recall, because he was reeling from the story she’d shared.
“I need to catch my breath,” he said. “I’m sure you do too. I’ll cook a frozen casserole for a late lunch. You can clean up, shower if you want. You got dunked in salt water after all.”
“Yeah, I need to get out of these clothes. I can wear your too-large sweats and T-shirt and wash these again.”
Hawk decided to cook the frozen lasagna in the oven rather than the microwave, that way it would taste only a little bit more like a home-cooked meal. He hadn’t had a home-cooked meal in far too long. Remi emerged with wet hair and wearing a Seahawks T-shirt and navy-blue sweatpants that hung off her, even though she’d tied the pants at the waist. She hiked them back up and scrunched her face. She was too cute.
She eased onto the couch and rested her head. Closed her eyes. “If we keep this up, we should stop by a store so I can grab some more clothes, you know, just to switch things up.”
He hoped this would end sooner rather than later, but she was right. “Good idea. My turn to clean up. The lasagna won’t be ready for another forty-five minutes or so.”
After a quick hot shower, Hawk felt three thousand times better. When he came out, Remi had set the small table with dishes. He only kept four plates, which was more than enough.
“You know what’s weird?” she asked.
“No. What?”
“You don’t have nearly enough windows in this place, and the view isn’t that great either. I’m feeling claustrophobic.”
“I figured you’d say as much. After all, you lived on the coast and got to watch the ocean every day.”
“Yeah, I really miss my lodge. I got accustomed to the panoramic view.” Her hand covered her heart. “Did I just call it mine?”
He nodded. “You did.”
“It’s not mine, not by a long stretch. But I miss it. When I first stayed there, it was to have time to get my memories back. Dr. Holcomb said to just focus on nature and enjoy the peace and quiet, far away from distractions. I started taking pictures of the ocean. Of the forest. It was magical.”
He smiled. “The waves crashing against the rocks enraptured me too.”
“Enraptured, huh?”
“What? Can’t I use big words?” He moved to the kitchen to get them water.
“Of course you can. But it sounded unnatural coming from you.”
“It’s just that I can’t think of any other word to describe it. And it’s how I felt when I saw your photos, so I get it.”
“My photos made you feel things?”
“Enraptured.” She was right. That did sound funny, but it was still a good word.
He slowly approached. She’d been through so much. When he’d pulled this woman from certain death, he couldn’t have known that her beautiful eyes would snag him, draw him in. Nor could he have known their lives were already entangled.
She stared at him now, her gaze shimmering with expectation. “Really?”
The question was almost breathless, and he couldn’t help himself. He stepped closer and looked down at her. Believe me ... “Really.”
He felt the draw, the pull, and the crazy desire again to kiss her. Yeah, it was crazy. She was in danger. Vulnerable. He’d be a jerk if he followed through, but he could at least try to ignore the fact that he wanted to. He took a step back to give them both room to breathe. Clear their heads.
And then, of all things, disappointment flooded her beautiful gaze. Hawk couldn’t win, but he was doing the right thing. And the sooner he got her back to the lodge, the better for them both, at least on a more personal level.
The oven timer dinged. “Lasagna’s up.”
“I’ll get it,” she said.
“No, you set the table. I’ll get it.” He rushed to the kitchen, grabbed oven mitts, and pulled the steaming casserole out.
“Normally it needs to rest for a few minutes.” Remi had come up beside him after setting the table. “Or else it’ll just fall apart. It needs to set.”
“Okay.” And there she was in his space again, but he could tell that her thoughts had moved away from whatever the oven timer had interrupted between them.
“I didn’t plan to stay so long at Cedar Trails. I mean, why would I want to stay there when I had planned to travel the world and write a travel blog? But I didn’t have unlimited funds, so I’d need to do it on the cheap,” she said. “Obviously I got caught up in my life at the lodge. I pretended it was my real life.”
“It was your real life. It is your life. The here and now. This present moment is your life. Not the past or some future dream that may or may not come true. It doesn’t matter that circumstances seemed to bring you here, that’s part of it. Haven’t you heard the old saying that life is what happens when you’re busy making plans?”
Looking at him, she ducked her chin. “Wise words from someone so young.”
She made him laugh with that one. He hadn’t laughed in a long time. “I don’t know whether to be hurt because you didn’t think I could say the word enraptured , and now you act like I don’t ever say anything that comes across as wisdom.”
“It was meant to be a compliment.” She sent him a soft smile.
He didn’t let his gaze linger on her lips but started cutting up the lasagna. “I’m hungry, and I’m not waiting any longer.”
She left his side and rushed back to grab the plates from the table. “We can just plate it here. It’s easier.”
Using two spatulas, he tried to get a square piece onto each plate, but the layers didn’t remain completely intact. “Doesn’t matter. It tastes the same.”
“Thanks for making it.”
They took their plates back to the table and dug in and ate in silence for a few moments.
“You said you missed the lodge,” he said. “You can’t wait to get back, can you?”
“I miss the breeze.”
“You mean the wind. There’s rarely anything breezy on the Pacific Northwest coast.”
She smiled. “Okay, I miss the wind. And I love the storms, as long as I don’t have to be standing out in them or hiding from a villain, but I fell in love. I guess I sort of lost myself there.”
“Or ... maybe you found yourself.”
After she finished a bite, she angled her head as if thinking. “Maybe.”
Yeah, Hawk had a feeling that Cedar Trails Lodge might be her permanent home. She’d fit in and, before everything had hit, was in a good place.
“But then again, I was pretending that I didn’t have this dark secret chasing me, closing in on me.” Her shoulders dropped. “Honestly, I hoped it would go away silently. I should have done more to find answers before things got out of hand.”
“You were doing what your doctor advised. Don’t beat yourself up.” He could go down that dark and lonely road too, and he did often, wondering what he could have done differently to prevent his brother from traveling this path that led nowhere good. But he had to accept that he had no control over his brother, over others. No control over their decisions.
“Listen to me, whining about my life. Hawk...” She slid her hand across the table as if she would press it over his, but she just left it there. Just reaching out from her heart? “Your brother. I’m so sorry this is happening.”
“After everything Cole has put you through, you can say this?”
“Yes. You didn’t make the decision for him. He isn’t ... you. And I can’t imagine how hard it must be.”
I believe you. He saw so much compassion in her expression, his heart melted, but with the thaw he felt so much more anguish over his brother. He cared deeply, grieved so long, that he had to build up a wall to protect himself. Anyone would. If he was going to make it through, he needed to keep that wall up, so he pressed his hand over hers, felt the warmth there, the softness of her skin. He ignored the sudden longing that coursed through him. The need to be close to someone and build a life. He pulled his hand away and then stood, grabbed their plates, and moved to wash them in the sink. He had to focus on what to do next.
He finished washing the dishes while Remi sauntered around in the living room. He didn’t want to look at her and see disappointment again or that he’d hurt her. It seemed unreasonable that he was even thinking along these lines, under the circumstances.
He dried the two dishes and the utensils and put them away. Wiped down the counter. Frowned at the leftover lasagna. Would they stay here long enough to finish it off? He covered it and stuck it in the fridge. Then headed to face Remi in the living room.
She’d taken a corner of the sofa, her legs propped up and her chin on her arm.
“Look, we’ll wrap this up as quickly as possible. Talk to John in the hospital. And if all goes well, you can go back to the lodge and be free of the past.”
“I’d love that. I really would. But I can’t shake the feeling it won’t be that easy.”
His fears exactly. But he couldn’t let that distract him. At the opposite end of the sofa, Hawk sat on the edge. “It’s time to figure things out.”
“Like who all the players are besides Cole.”
A traitor to his country. Hawk couldn’t even think about his brother now without seething inside.
“I’m not sure we need to know any of that. We’re not taking this on. We just need to make sure that we deliver the information to the right person at the right agency. You’ve been targeted, and that’s before anyone knew with certainty that you held on to high-value information.”
“So, you think John will know how to help. But what if he doesn’t? Who do we talk to? The FBI, CIA, DOD? And I could keep going with all the many government agency acronyms.”
“Probably the Department of Defense. Operation Blackout has to be some kind of SOCOM—Special Operations Command—mission.”
“Do you know the guy at the top so you can call him and get me an appointment? Because if you don’t, how do I find the right person to talk to? How can I get someone to take me seriously when I say I have information that involves national security? The feds must get all kinds of kooks. And I can’t afford to tell just anyone my story, really. It’s too risky. As for John, have you heard anything? Is he even still alive?”
He shook his head. “John’s wife died three years ago, so it’s not like I can reach out to family. I don’t know his kids. Since I’m not family, I can’t call the hospital to ask about his status.”
“No, but you could call. He’s a patient. Maybe they’ll put you through to his room. If he doesn’t have a room, then we know he’s either in surgery or recovery, or if nothing else, then maybe we’ll learn that he didn’t make it.”
“You have a point. I’m holding on to hope that he’ll reach out to me when he’s able, and that he’ll recover from the bullet wound.” Inflicted on him by Cole. Law enforcement alerts had to be out on his brother by now.
Hawk seethed inside. He grieved. Two conflicting emotions battled for attention.
He checked the communication app where John would reach out to him, but there was no activity. Surely the man would reach out as soon as he was able. He understood how important it was. Under normal circumstances, Hawk would be at the hospital in the waiting room, eager to know what was going on, but with Remi being targeted, he’d wait until he knew John was ready to talk to them.
“Whatever we do next,” Hawk said, “I want to make sure we’re not digging ourselves even deeper into the wrong side. Let’s find out what we can in case John is unable to help.”
Remi paced and pressed her fingers against her lips. He wasn’t entirely sure she’d heard him.
“Let’s say Charles Whitman is still actively after the device,” she said. “He could have been the one to hire Cole.”
“To kill you?”
“But that’s just it. Cole didn’t when he had the chance. And I have no idea who could have sent me the message to remember.”
“Do you know what the puzzle pieces were about now?”
“I only had two pieces before we left the lodge. It’s hard to tell, but it could have been the church next to the café. But now that I’ve remembered everything, I don’t think the image that the puzzle pieces would create—if I ever get them all—matters.”
Her eyes grew wide. “Wait. How does someone know that I’d forgotten something important? I’m the only one alive who can know that. If Sergei was alive, he would know what he told me. No one was with us in the confessional or on the journey through the countryside to the village.”
“See, here’s the thing. You were seen with Sergei. He approached you right before someone tried to take him out, and the hero in you instinctively took over.”
“The hero in me? How about the survivor in me. Someone was shooting. Everyone ran.”
“Yeah, but you ran with Sergei. Sergei approached you, sat at your table, then you left together. On the surface, that could be taken to mean you planned everything and that you know his secrets. And maybe someone wants you to remember before Cole comes for you. It could be as simple as that. Whoever is behind targeting you, whoever is behind wanting to know your story, they suspect that Sergei could have told you vital information. And guess what—he did tell you vital information.”
“And I wish he hadn’t.”
“That means you know more than anyone else. Even Charles Whitman.”
“I’m being hunted by an assassin and an arms dealer.”
God, help me protect her!