Chapter 34
“S he’s an eagle shifter.” Honey sounded cheerful, but Buck could see the way her hands twisted together, giving the lie to the smile on her face.
“One of Leonie’s many cousins, apparently.
Just finished college. No formal teaching experience, but she comes from a big extended family, and she’s volunteered for a lot of different children’s charities.
A wonderful role model for the campers.”
“The kids don’t need a wonderful role model.” Buck pitched his voice low, mindful of the cabins nearby. The campers should be out of earshot, but you never knew with shifter hearing. “They’ve already got one. Damn it, Honey. Why are we even talking about this?”
“We both know this was always the plan. Your plan, Buck.”
“Well, it was a stupid plan.” Inside his chest, something was clawing to get out, desperate to stop her from leaving. “I’ve changed my mind. I’m going straight to Conleth to tell him to shove that CV up his equine ass.”
Honey caught his arm. “It’s too late, Buck. The new counselor is already on her way. She’s arriving tomorrow.”
“Then she can turn around and go straight back home.” Buck shook her off.
The need to do something, anything , boiled under his skin.
“Or hang around and help out as an extra counselor. Or spend the rest of the summer working on her tan down by the lake, for all I care. I mean it, Honey. You’re not leaving. ”
Honey smiled at him, her eyes sad. “You said it yourself, Buck. I can’t stay here.”
“You can.” He clenched his fists, heart aching worse than his scar. “Nobody’s spotted you so far, have they? Why not just carry on?”
“You know why not. I can’t. It’s not safe.”
“Woman, a few hours ago, you were perfectly happy to carry on for another four weeks.”
“When there was no choice!” Honey’s voice started to rise.
She took a deep breath, her tone leveling out again.
“It’s not just the risk of discovery, Buck.
It’s never sat right with me, having to lie to the kids, and Zephyr, and Leonie, and everyone else here.
I can’t keep hiding this from them, not when there’s a different solution. It wouldn’t be right.”
“But the kids.” In desperation, he played his trump card. “They’re imprinted on you like motherloving ducklings. This new counselor could fart rainbows, and they’ll still hate her because she’s not you. They’ll be heartbroken if you leave.”
“And I’ll hate leaving them.” Honey stopped, swallowing. “That’s another reason why I have to go. Because I love them so much, Buck. And the camp, and this time with you, and our friends here… all of it.”
“Those sound like reasons to stay, not leave.”
She shook her head. “I love it all too much, Buck. I don’t belong here. The longer I stay, the more attached I get… it only makes it more difficult to leave. Better to go now, while I still can. Before it gets too hard to say goodbye.”
The beast hadn’t bothered him in weeks. He didn’t even have to chain himself to the bed any more. He only really felt its presence when he was buried deep in Honey’s heat; that feral urge to sink his teeth into her skin, marking her as his forever.
Even that was instinct getting easier to control. That first time had been the closest he’d come to actually completing the mating ritual. He’d expected the motherloving animal to fight harder, but it had been oddly dormant. These days, it barely bothered him at all.
Or at least, it hadn’t. Now it was back in full force, pacing through his blood and rattling his bones.
He couldn’t tell what was him and what was the monster; how much of his agitation was his own natural desire to keep Honey close, and how much the beast’s blind, animal possessiveness.
The line between them was more blurred than ever.
He swallowed the growl that was trying to escape his throat. “I’ll have to stay the rest of the summer.”
“I know.” Honey's eyes glimmered with unshed tears. “The kids need you.”
They need you too, he wanted to say… but she was right. It wasn’t fair on Honey, to make her stay when she knew it couldn’t last.
“We’ll muddle through,” he said instead. He pulled her into his arms, holding her close; trying to soak up enough warmth to last the rest of the summer. “And the minute camp closes, I’ll be on that plane to Chicago. You aren’t getting away from me that easily, woman.”
She held on to him too, just as fiercely. “Good.”
* * *
Honey went to Zephyr straight away, before she could lose her nerve. She found him over in the meadow, sitting in a circle with half a dozen of the older campers, apparently leading them through some sort of guided meditation. As she hesitated, not wanting to interrupt, his eyes opened.
“Ah,” Zephyr said, as though he’d expected to find her there. He looked around at the campers. “That’s all for today. Later tonight, find somewhere peaceful and try reaching for the earth on your own. If you have any questions, I’ll be available during office hours. Off you go now.”
The young teens reluctantly dispersed, looking rather mulish at having had whatever they were doing cut short. Honey waited until the last one had trailed off.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Honey said to Zephyr. “Could I have a moment of your time, Director?”
Zephyr’s dark eyebrows lifted at the formality. He got to his feet, brushing bits of grass and dirt off his pants. “This sounds like a conversation we should have in private. My office?”
Conleth was still working at his desk as they came in. Zephyr exchanged a single wordless look with his business partner, and Conleth tucked his laptop under his arm and departed without comment.
“We won’t be interrupted.” Zephyr settled himself behind his desk, motioning Honey to take the seat opposite. “What’s this about?”
Honey stumbled through her pre-prepared story—a sudden unspecified family emergency, an urgent need to go back home to Chicago. Zephyr listened without interrupting, his dark gaze still and impenetrable.
When she’d run out of words, all he said was, “I see.”
“I know it’s a breach of contract.” Honey kept her hands clasped in her lap, hoping he couldn’t tell how her palms were sweating.
“And I understand if that means you have to dock my pay, or impose other penalties. But at least the kids won’t be affected.
Conleth says he’s found someone to take over for me. ”
“Yes,” Zephyr said, tone utterly neutral. “I signed off on the contract yesterday. A backup counselor, Conleth told me. In case of an unexpected emergency. Such as this one. Even for Conleth, that seems unusually efficient.”
“I… may have had some inkling that I might have to leave,” she confessed.
“Conleth knew. He was looking for a replacement, just in case. Please, Zeph—Director. I know I’m letting you down, and I hate it.
I can’t tell you how much I wish I could stay.
But I can’t. It’s not just for my own sake, either.
Please trust me on this. I really do have to leave. ”
Zephyr leaned back in his chair. He looked at her for a long, long moment, his face perfectly expressionless. She had no idea what might be going through his mind.
“Honey,” he said at last. “Is this because you’re not a shifter?”