38. Chapter Thirty-Seven #2
“Xane kicked that shitty warm-up band off the tour when he caught them talking about bringing in underage girls from a local high school,” she finishes for me, giving me a wry smile.
“Wow, you really did your research. That wasn’t a big story when it happened.”
“Yeah. The stuff that should make the headlines rarely actually does. The singer of that shitty band has a rich daddy, so his band is still out there, touring with other bands who either don’t know, or don’t care.”
“Oh, we know,” I admit, surprising her this time. “Trick sends out warning notices to schools in the area wherever they tour now, to make them aware of these guys and to keep their students safe. Riley got a couple of other bands to fire them, too.”
She smiles. “Good to know you guys are on it.”
“The bands that still hire them are probably as creepy as they are.”
“There’s no shortage of creeps in the industry.”
“Said like someone who knows the industry.”
Her cheeks flush and she shakes her head. “It’s just one of those things everyone knows.”
She’s not being completely honest, and I’m not sure why.
The image of her sitting with that Fender in her arms flashes through my thoughts.
I know music means something to her. It’s not a hobby, or a pastime.
She wrote with so much passion on her blog.
It makes me wonder if she’s been trying to make it into her career.
It’s possible. Clearly, it’s something she loves.
Maybe she’s just not ready to admit it.
“Yeah,” I start. “It is kinda full of creeps, but we’re not all like that.”
“I know,” she says, like she means it.
The way she looks me, I know she’s into me.
Now, she’s starting to sound that same way.
Warm, inviting. Interested.
I’m so damn tempted to let everything spill.
To tell her who she is to us and hope for the best.
But she’s not ready, and I can see that now.
She’s not comfortable enough to admit she’s into music the same way we are.
It’s on me to open up first, to give her a way to trust us.
So, I remind myself what we started out talking about and I go back to that story.
“So, yeah, Larry was a piece of shit. I always thought he was kind of a sleaze, but he was only a few years older than Riley and Xane, and they liked all the same stuff, so I guess they didn’t see it until that happened.
Some of the groupies kind of liked him, too.
He was always full of innuendo, and people thought he was kind of funny.
To me, he was just our manager. I didn’t want to hang out with him as a friend. ”
But Xane and Riley did.
That’s how they saw him.
Oh my God.
I didn’t even think about that.
How could I not notice?
They were actually friends.
Xane didn’t just fire a manager that night.
He lost someone he thought was a friend.
That had to add another layer of hurt to what he was feeling.
He trusted that guy. He thought he was this good, fun person.
To find out he was completely wrong must have been like taking a knife to the heart.
“I’m not close to anyone outside of our pack. These are the only people who mean anything to me, really. But Xane and Riley have other friends. Guys we spend time with while we’re working, but I think … I think I just realized how seriously they take those friendships.”
I like some of those guys, sure, but I’d never put my trust in them.
They’re more like acquaintances, or work colleagues to me.
I might help them out if it’s not a hassle, but that’s about as far as I’d go for any of them.
Xane and Riley have put their necks on the line for some of those guys.
They definitely don’t see them the same way I do.
“A good friend is worth their weight in gold,” Sapphire tells me.
It sounds like something she knows for sure.
“You have a lot of good friends?” I ask, curious.
She shrugs. “A few. The good ones aren’t that easy to find.”
“I count my pack as the good ones. I’ve never met anyone else I’d consider a good friend.”
Of course, I’d called plenty of classmates friends when I was younger.
That was different. High school was so fake.
Everyone wanted to be best friends with the Alpha.
I acted like everyone was my friend, so no one would feel left out.
It was exhausting, and I’ve never wanted to do that shit ever again.
But that isn’t the same as having a real friend do something so heinous.
It’s no wonder Xane was so angry in the aftermath of firing Larry.
He’d liked the guy. He’d thought he could trust him.
Only for Larry to do something so repulsive that Xane was angry enough to break his jaw before he permanently ejected that asshole from our lives.
“I’ve never seen Xane so mad. He literally screamed at the start of our shows for like a week.
The parties after our shows stopped and the drugs that used to get passed around backstage were gone, too.
Riley warned any acts we worked with that we wouldn’t be allowing any illegal substances in the venues. None of it started back up.”
“No parties and no drugs after that night?” she sounds shocked and I don’t blame her.
“Not very rock and roll, right?” I ask, a wry smile forming on my lips.
If she was into that lifestyle, she wouldn’t be made for us.
I’ve never been into it, and neither has Trick.
Riley and Xane put it behind them a long time ago.
“It’s kind of refreshing,” she tells me. “I could see from your tour schedule you guys work hard, but usually that means a band who also plays hard.”
“We drink sometimes,” I add with a shrug.
“Sometimes?” she asks. “Like on vacation?”
She picks up her beer, and I can tell she’s thinking about Riley.
“Uh, yeah, or after a show. Riley isn’t an alcoholic …” I start, trailing off when I realize I might be lying. “I mean, it’s just a few … Holy shit.”
A day hasn’t passed since that night.
Not one full twenty-four-hour period, without Riley reaching for a beer, or several.
Sure, it used to be spirits, and sometimes it’s only a couple, but he drinks every single fucking day.
Fuck. Our Riley problem is worse than I thought it was.
He’s been drowning himself ever since that night.
And none of us even noticed.
“Sorry,” Sapphire murmurs.
“It’s okay. I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner.”
I don’t know what I could have done about it, if I had.
But I would have had to think of something.
Because I wouldn’t have organized this plan if I’d known.
It makes me worry that I rushed things.
I didn’t think about anything other than finding a way to meet her once I read that blog post.
Now, our true mate is alone with us, and I don’t think any of us are ready for that.
“Obviously none of this can go in the interview,” I joke, trying to lighten my own mood as well as hers.
She smiles. “I know. I haven’t been writing it down.”
Of course not. She’s here to promote us, and she knows that.
Besides, even if she was like most reporters, she’s also meant for us.
Our true mate would never let the world know our deepest, darkest secrets.
She sips at her beer and then sets the bottle back down, resting it against her thigh.
“So, why are you telling me all of this?” she asks, watching my face carefully.
I ignore the voice inside me that screams this is the perfect moment to tell her the whole truth.
It’s not the perfect anything. It’s too soon. As much as that hurts to admit.
She might like me, but she doesn’t see me as a potential mate.
At least, not yet.
When she sees it, when she gets there, that’ll be our moment, and I’ll grab hold of it with both hands when it comes.
Luckily, there’s another reason I told her everything, I guess.
“I’m telling you because it’s time for Xane to let go of that shit. Before he completely loses himself. He won’t listen to me. He won’t listen to Trick, or Riley. But I think … No. I know. He’ll listen to you.”
She blinks at me. “Uh, what? Why would he listen to me? I’m a complete stranger.”
“That’s exactly what it’s going to take. Someone from the outside of the pack to make him see sense. To help him see what he’s doing to himself. To us.”
Fuck, this actually hurts. We’ve been so broken, for so long.
So far apart while we’re performing on the same stage.
She’s quiet for a few seconds, clearly thinking about it.
“I can’t make any promises,” she starts.
“We need him back as our lead Alpha.”
“I can see that. I’ll try to talk to him.”
“Thank you. I’m not gonna lie, he won’t like that you know. He doesn’t think Trick and I know the full story, and I guess we don’t, not really, but he won’t be too much of an asshole to you.”
Even if he’s conflicted about who she is to us, he would never be awful to someone without a reason.
He might get mad at me, but I’m prepared for that.
I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but he shut me down.
He won’t shut her down, because he won’t get the chance.
She’ll catch him off guard. He won’t expect her to know anything.
“Because I’m a stranger?” she guesses.
“Yeah. He’ll be mad at me for telling you, but he won’t be mad at you.”
“I’ll take your word for it.”
“You won’t regret it. Trust me.”
It might even make him see that she’s really meant for us.
I don’t understand why he’s having so much trouble with that.
But this will help prove it to him for sure.
All he has to do is listen to her.
Her words might even sink in.