79. Chapter Seventy-Eight
Chapter Seventy-Eight
Xane
Riley sits up bolt upright about an hour after Trick and Kian stopped bickering in their tent.
I move around to the front of his tent and unzip the opening.
“You good?” I ask.
One look inside tells me he’s not.
He’s gasping as he pushes away the sleeping bag.
Climbing out of the tent, he stumbles forward and pukes into the bushes.
I move to crouch at his side and rub his back.
He heaves and wheezes a few times before he’s done.
It’s always the same. If he binges, this is what happens.
“Feel better?”
He sits up, wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, and blows out a breath.
“Fuck off, Xane.”
He sounds hoarse.
“Sorry, can’t.”
He turns his head to glower at me before he gets up.
I move at the same time, giving him something steady to lean against while pretending I’m the one leaning on him.
He moves away quickly, clearly heading for the beach.
“Where are you going?” I ask as I follow him.
“Away from you,” he croaks back.
“That’s not gonna happen.”
“It is,” he insists, stopping to cough.
“Not this time it’s not.”
I’m determined, and it doesn’t matter how much he tries to push back.
I should have done this a long time ago, but I won’t let guilt shame me into giving him space.
He’s had enough time to deal with this his way.
It hasn’t worked. He isn’t doing better.
If anything, he’s getting worse.
He storms off, moving faster, as if running will make a difference.
I chase him out onto the sand, and he finally stops and looks back at me.
Even in the dark, I can see the pain etched into every line on his face.
He stares back at me, hands in fists by his sides.
I get closer, and I can see he’s fighting to stay angry.
“Why?” he roars. “Why this time? Why now?”
“It’s been five years, Riley. I can’t pretend anymore, and I don’t think you can, either.”
He frowns at me, his chest heaving as he draws a ragged breath.
“You let this happen!” he shouts at me. “It’s because of you!”
“I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry,” I admit, catching him in my arms when he collapses into tears. “I’m so sorry, Riley. I’ll never let it happen again. Never.”