Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
“ F ind someone to take me there!” Kadar thundered. “Get someone to take me east of the mountains and then we will find her.”
His vizier snapped his finger as if to confirm Kadar’s instructions and everyone went running in all directions, leaving Kadar and his vizier alone.
But Kadar was hardly aware of Nabil’s presence. He was beside himself with grief and guilt. He’d never forgive himself if anything happened to her. Never forgive himself for treating her as a political pawn rather than the love of his life.
“We will find her, Your Highness.”
Kadar turned to Nabil, who rarely called him by his official title. It seemed even his vizier understood the seriousness of the situation.
“You better had, Nabil, or else our lives will never be the same again.”
“And why is that?”
“Because I will leave this city and go looking for her and not stop until I find her.”
The vizier looked appalled, which went some way to appeasing Kadar. It meant he was on the right track.
“You cannot do that.”
Kadar shot him a dark look. “Watch me.” He jumped up as if he were about to leave that very second but, instead, strode over to the window and looked out to the east, where the sun was rising over the mountains. “She’s there, somewhere, Nabil. And we drove her there. She will want nothing to do with me after talking to her family.”
“And, no doubt, she’ll want nothing to do with the marriage to unite our country. Her family has never sought peaceful solutions to our differences. They’ve never been interested in compromise.”
“Because the solutions you and my father presented them with weren’t acceptable. We were never interested in compromise either.”
Nabil shrugged. “Whatever. That avenue is no longer open to us, I’m afraid.”
“You’re afraid that your plans have failed?” Kadar bellowed. He inhaled slowly. “Believe me, it is not your plans I’m concerned about. But my future.”
“There is still hope, Your Majesty. We will track her down and have her brought back here.”
“ No! No one will be brought anywhere against their will ever again. Is that understood?”
Nabil didn’t speak. For the first time, Kadar thought his vizier looked his age. He’d never seen him look older. But he felt no weakening when confronted with the old man’s vulnerability. “I said, is that clear, Nabil?”
Nabil opened his mouth to speak, but swallowed whatever he was going to say and simply nodded. Then he nodded again. “It is , Your Highness. It is .”
“Then I want you to draw up a new plan.”
“Along what lines?”
“Along the lines of peace. I want peace at any cost. This cannot continue.”
“Then, please, Your Highness, reconsider your visit to the east for now. Wait.”
“Why?” Kadar shot straight back, anxious to be on his way and find Sarah, to make her understand how much their love meant to both of them. She had to be a part of his future.
“Strategy,” replied Nabil simply.
“I’m done with strategy.”
“There is no point racing over to her before we know what we are doing. Wait—weeks, maybe months—and then go to her with a plan for the future.”
Kadar glared at Nabil, even angrier because he could see the sense in his words. He couldn’t find Sarah only to force her into being with him. It hadn’t worked out the first time around, and wouldn’t this time. No, if there was one thing he’d learned from Sarah, it was that domination wouldn’t work. But maybe conciliation would. Maybe, just maybe, handing over the power to her just might work.
He continued to stand by the window, looking east, as he heard Nabil leave the room. The sun rose higher, and he remembered a line from Shakespeare. “It is the East, and Juliet is the sun,” he murmured. His Juliet. His Sarah. He could no more be apart from her as the sun would stop rising every morning. Nabil was right. He could no longer take what he wanted. He had to wait for it to be freely given.
The weeks passed and Sarah had gotten to know her family better. Her cousin, Amena, had become her constant companion. She not only talked with relatives and learnt more about her parents and her culture, but she also found time to be alone. And it was those moments, as she wandered around the souks, absorbing the atmosphere of this ancient city her family had called home for centuries, that she realized she’d found a peace inside herself which she’d never had before. But it was a peace which became unsettled whenever she reflected on her time with Kadar.
At first, she’d tried to forget him and everything he’d done. But it had proved impossible. She couldn’t maintain her anger, because the fact was she understood him. She knew that even if duty and responsibility hadn’t been drilled into him since he was a child, both came naturally to him and, no matter how ill-at-ease he was with the role of king, he was determined to do his duty. Peace was the goal and had to be achieved at whatever cost. Even if it meant repressing his loving heart. Because that was another problem. She believed he did truly love her. But what could she do with that when she couldn’t trust that he wouldn’t betray her again for a truth he held even closer to his heart? The future peace and prosperity of his country.
And now, as she sat with her cousin, Amena, on the terrace of their house overlooking lush gardens, she considered a further complication which she’d recently identified. It turned out that Kadar had planted something else within her, besides love. She was pregnant. The one time they’d had unprotected sex had been enough. She couldn’t believe it. After Kadar had insisted on protection all the other times, and yet that one time had been sufficient. But of course it had. Somehow it seemed inevitable that that first, intense connection had proved fruitful. And now she knew, she couldn’t regret it. Trouble was, she hadn’t a clue how she was going to tell her conservative family.
“The king will want you back, Sarah,” said her cousin, oblivious to the complications which Sarah had yet to confide in her.
“He can want all he likes, but he’s not getting me back. I cannot trust him.”
“He’ll believe that you will unite us as we haven’t been united since your parents died and that we’ll bring a force against him and threaten his family’s rule. Your existence will have him and his advisers desperate to retrieve you to neutralize the threat.”
“I’m not a pawn to be used in political power plays.”
“ I know that. But they don’t. Every aspect of those people’s lives is political. And I’m afraid if you stay here, you will inevitably be drawn into it.”
“ If I stay here?” Sarah was incredulous that her cousin would imagine she’d leave now, just as she’d found her family.
Her cousin shrugged. “You have a choice. You can return to the country in which you were raised, or you can stay here, in Sirun. What do you think you will do?”
“I have no reason to return to England. And I have all of you here. Yes, I will stay. I don’t want to live anywhere else. I’ve lived my whole life not knowing about my family because my grandfather wanted to keep me safe by keeping me ignorant. But now is no longer the time for safety. It’s the time for action.”
Her cousin nodded. “We hoped you would say that.”
Sarah looked away. “Trouble is, I’m not totally sure what that action will be.”
“You will have to figure that out soon, Sarah. Because I think time isn’t something the king and his advisers will want to give you. They will imagine that the more time passes, the larger the threat will grow.”
“I’m beginning to realize that. All I know is that my grandfather wanted peace and so do I. Whatever our history, I have no wish to be the cause of more bloodshed.”
“Then perhaps you would consider marriage to someone within our tribe. Someone who could help you bring us together, unite us in a way we haven’t been for a generation?”
Sarah knew she couldn’t keep the information to herself any longer.
“I can’t.”
“I realize it’s difficult to imagine, and I’m not suggesting you marry straight away. There are many fine men in our tribe.”
She leaned forward and placed her hand on Sarah’s arm and looked into her eyes intently. “I can’t, Sarah, because I am pregnant.”
Amena’s eyes widened. “Pregnant?” She held her gaze and opened her mouth to speak before closing it again.
Sarah knew what she’d been about to ask, but didn’t dare. So she nodded. “Yes, it’s Kadar’s.”
Amena sat back in her chair. “Then this changes everything.”