33 Clean Out Your Skeletons from the Closet #2
“She sent me tips on cases, sent me money. I took the cases but tried not to accept payment. But then the cases she tipped me off about, they always paid mysteriously huge sums. I felt too guilty not letting her know you were safe.”
“But why wouldn’t you tell me?”
“She asked me not to, said it would scare you off. And, Reggie, I was afraid you would run, that I’d lose you too.
It was selfish; I know it was. And I should have told you.
When I found out about Eldi, I started to realize something wasn’t right.
I stopped telling her anything, but she knew you were with me, and I’m easy to track.
Before we came here, I almost told you, but I was afraid to.
I wasn’t sure what her motives were for keeping tabs on you, but I kept telling myself it couldn’t affect anything. Obviously, I was wrong.”
Calvin finally withdraws his hand, sinks to his knees so we’re level.
“Reggie,” he goes on, “I swear I didn’t think any harm could come from it.
She never asked for much. If it makes you feel better, I saved the money.
Eldi has a college fund set up in her name.
I kept thinking it was strange how much was in there.
I’d check the balance and be shocked, but then every time I looked at Eldi, thinking I would confess, I would forget how much money there was.
Once Eldi stopped using that watch to hide from me, I checked the amount.
The account, it’s worth, like . . . millions? ” he finishes meekly.
A burble of laughter comes unbidden. They all stare at me, worried, like I’m losing it. I cover my mouth with my hand, but I can’t stop grinning. Eldi is an alien who’s been two for at least seven years, and Calvin has a college fund for her.
“You know what? I don’t care.” I really don’t.
It all comes down to Adele. She’s the one turning us all against each other.
And I’m done letting her have power over my life.
“Eldi isn’t going to college. Or if she wants to, I’m funding it.
” With all the other money I’ve stolen from Adele.
The ridiculousness of it. “You’re forgiven.
I blame Adele for all of this. All of it.
But you’re hiring me a babysitter and taking me on a nice vacation. A really fucking expensive vacation.”
Meredith cuts in. “There are a few things we should take care of first. Mom isn’t about to roll over and give up, and I have some ideas about what she’s doing.”
With a jolt, I remember files full of children like Eldi, everything I stole with Eldi’s watch.
Zara clears her throat. “I have information to add to this little meeting as well.” She taps the Winnebago and calls up to the driver’s seat. “Hey, can you take us to the Waffle House?” She shouts out the familiar address.
“What do you know about the Waffle House?” Calvin asks.
“Have the Whistlemen mentioned they have an informant in Agency 51?” Zara asks with a wicked grin.
“Yeah, it’s me,” Meredith pipes up. Zara’s double take is comical.
“No, it’s me,” Zara says, but she sizes Meredith up and says, “Huh, well, I guess that makes sense.”
“It was both of you, separately, wasn’t it?” I say, looking from Zara to Meredith. “Tipping off the Whistlemen. And the things you did for me. The emails . . . Meredith sent them. And the nursery rhyme, it was a clue. You were giving me hints. And Zara, you sent Eldi to me.”
“I thought you knew that,” Zara says. “I just thought you didn’t care.”
“Why didn’t you leave?”
“The same reasons you didn’t. I was just a teenager. You’d left me behind. I had Meredith. I had no one else.”
“You took that little boy along, but you left us behind,” Meredith says.
“You made it pretty clear you didn’t want us with you after all.
If Mom found my emails, I didn’t want them full of tip-offs to someone who didn’t even want me.
If I didn’t ever outright warn you, I could tell her it was my way of keeping tabs on you, sending you looking the directions I wanted.
And the ones that looked threatening, well, I could claim to just be taunting you.
I thought maybe you’d get the message anyway. ”
It’s never once occurred to me that my sisters could misinterpret my motives. That they couldn’t see the reasons that are crystal clear to me.
“No, it was never that. Of course I wanted you with me. But I wanted to give you a shot at a completely fresh start. I was sure Adele, without me there to hold her back, would push past the edge, destroy herself.”
Zara huffs. “You weren’t the only one who couldn’t let go. She was different after you left. For a while, the way she treated me changed. Almost like she cared about me. I fell for it. By the time I realized even if the enclosure was comfortable, it was still a cage, she had Meredith in her claws.”
“Third time’s the charm?” Meredith asks. “Personally, I was on my way out. I only stayed because the alien stuff was getting interesting. Adele didn’t suspect I was a double agent until you two messed it up.”
Zara whirls on Meredith. “Why didn’t you tell me? Work with me? I was trying to figure out a way to get you out.”
“Oh please, excuses,” Meredith scoffs. “You stayed because you were afraid. It was easier to stay than face the mess it would be if you left.”
Zara looks like Meredith slapped her. “I did what I could to work against her. I went to the Whistlemen the second I had any freedom.”
“And then you came back and played the good daughter,” Meredith says.
“So did you.”
“The difference is I remembered that I wasn’t that person,” Meredith says.
“You forgot. I always remembered when we were a team. Figured that once I escaped, I’d eventually track you both down, lock you in a room somewhere until I was sure I could trust you both and you’d worked out your shit with each other, and then we could deal with the Mom situation.
The last couple steps of my plan are moving faster than anticipated, so I’m kind of winging it at the moment, but I’m sure we can come up with something now we’re all on the same side. ”
My youngest sister, the best iteration so far. I long to feel pride for her persistent optimism, for her will to cheerfully climb over any obstacle life throws at her. But she is nothing like me—I haven’t shaped her. All I feel is shame for never seeing her clearly, for assuming I knew who she was.
My sisters didn’t trust me. I left them behind.
They couldn’t count on me to be there for them, so they kept their secrets close.
The weight of my failure, the enormity of how badly I’ve made my choices, sits on my chest, pressing the air from my lungs.
The silence is broken by the quiet shuffling of Dave, surreptitiously prodding at a pair of unfamiliar bags in the corner.
Eldi snores loudly, the normally grating sound like music to my ears.
The Winnebago rocks gently as the wheels touch down and the headlights flick on.
I should probably call Manny up from downstairs to take the wheel before we hit the highway, since it looks like we have a lot to catch up on.
“I think it’s past time we unpacked some of our emotional baggage,” Zara says. “But we can probably throw a suitcase or two straight into the trash without ending up with nothing to wear on vacation.”
Meredith stretches as she gets to her feet. “And I’m tired of sitting on the floor.”
Calvin holds out his hand to me again, and this time I take it.
“Adele doesn’t just hate your toddler,” Zara says.
“She wants to destroy all the Chupacabras.” She looks over at Dave and clears her throat pointedly.
Dave retracts his metallic tentacles from the depths of Zara’s bag and scurries out of sight.
“Snoop,” Zara mutters under her breath as she pulls out a laptop from one of the unfamiliar bags and slides onto the bench by the table.
Doug nudges the second backpack toward Meredith. “Thanks for tracking these down,” Meredith says, accepting her bag. Doug purrs like a cat at her praise.
“No rest for the wicked, I guess,” I say. “I snuck some files too.”
At that, Eldi’s watch whistles, unlatching from her wrist and skittering across the wall like a miniature version of Doug or Dave. It creeps onto the table, where its little tentacles immediately emerge, as if eager to tell us all it knows.
The first flutters of hope rise in my chest, like a hundred butterflies carrying with them all the pain and regret, ready to fly away at last. I have my sisters, I have Eldi, and Calvin hasn’t abandoned me yet.
I sit on the bench next to Zara. I’m acutely aware of Calvin’s every move as he slides tentatively onto the bench across from me.
“Well, luckily you have an expert researcher on your hands. Who wants to share their intel first?” He looks at the three of us, Meredith and Zara with their laptops and me with Eldi’s watch.
“Me,” Zara says, popping open her laptop. “Middle kids never get to go first.”