39 Full Disclosure
Full Disclosure
The drop back into my own body when I leave Orion’s memory download is jarring.
Like I skipped a step coming down the stairs and stumbled into an ice-cold pool.
The first gasp of air, sinking into the warmth of my own familiar body.
Disorienting. It feels as though years should have passed, but the sensations of existence in an alien body rapidly fade like waking from a dream.
It’s still all there, but it’s receded into a bearable file full of facts inside my head.
“It only took seven seconds,” Luca says, looking at me. He hasn’t even shifted. “I was curious to watch from this side.”
Calvin’s hands are shaking, and Meredith has silent tears streaming down her face. Zara’s eyes have an absent look. Wolff is paler than usual, and Gemma’s eyes are wide.
“The spaceships in the sky, the activity all over this world—that’s my species, those who survived the fall of our planet,” Orion says.
“They’ve finally found us, the rest of the survivors.
The Helpers have been able to restore limited communication with Mothership now that they are closer.
They don’t mean humanity any harm. They’re coming for us; they’re coming for the children who made it to evacuation. ”
“If you had told me years ago that you left Agency 51, you’d have known all this already,” Luca says to me. He sounds like he’s struggling to maintain his composure. “I would have been there for you. Orion could have found Eldi a long time ago.”
“Reggie isn’t entirely at fault,” Orion says, cutting through the thick film of guilt that I’ve already been sinking into without Luca’s help. “Reggie helped me escape, and I knew she had escaped, too, and I lied to you, Luca.”
“Why would you lie about that?” Luca says, eyes narrowing.
“I asked him to,” I say, meeting Luca’s eyes even though I want to look away. His expression is the definition of looks that could kill.
“And I didn’t trust Reggie,” Orion says. “Not until recently. I knew too much about her. I hated Adele, and Reggie is Adele’s . . . child.”
Orion stops short of spilling my secret.
He could tell them he didn’t trust me after he learned I’m Adele’s clone.
That I’m an exact copy of her. I remember that fateful night, running from Adele, Orion crouched behind me on the steps, listening as she told me the truth about who I am.
He was there when I left my sisters behind.
Calvin squeezes my hand. He’s the only other person in the room who knows this worst fact about me.
Orion is watching me with a cool, calculating stare, and I know he’s remembering that night too.
When I don’t take the opportunity he gives me to confess, Orion continues.
“I thought she might turn on you or me, especially once I knew your history with her. You would fall for any trap she set.”
Luca glares but doesn’t dispute this, and I resist the urge to shift uncomfortably.
Orion turns to me and says, “But also I thought you seemed more like me than any other human I’d met.
That the monster everyone saw might actually be just a mask.
I watched you treat her”—his eyes flick to Zara—“like I treated Eldi. Like you had no choice but to take care of her like she was yours. I saw you loved her. And the Winnebago, our friends, helped you. That had to count for something. You’d asked me to lie for you, say you were going back to work for Adele.
Then it looked like you actually did do that. ”
“It wasn’t me,” I say.
“All we knew was that there was someone at Agency 51 wearing your mask, your weapon,” Luca says. “I didn’t want to believe it, but it sure seemed like you didn’t want to escape anymore.”
“Why would none of you at least mention that the oldest Kingsley sister was a farce? That she was no longer at the base?” Gemma asks. “You were working with us. That’s a big piece of intel to hide.”
I’ve seen Zara humiliated enough times to recognize the look on her face, though she’s gotten better at hiding it. Shame.
“It was Adele mostly,” Zara says. “Hiding behind that mask and fooling everyone into thinking you hadn’t left.”
“Mostly?” I ask.
“Sometimes one of us,” Meredith says. “Anyone could wear that Gauntlet, but she always controlled it.”
“We couldn’t fight it like you could either,” Zara adds.
“You could have at least said it was an imposter.”
“What would I have said?” Zara says. “Oh, by the way, that masked person torturing and intimidating people, that’s just me. But I promise you can trust me anyway. Or blame it all on Meredith? There were times Adele and her eldest appeared together; you wouldn’t have believed it was only Adele.”
The true horror of it sinks in then: They were like puppets on a string.
“The part I don’t understand,” says Calvin, “is why bother pretending you were there all along?”
“Aside from saving face, having to admit her favored child turned their back on her? She knew I would be listening, would hear the rumors and realize Regina Kingsley could never be anyone but Adele’s daughter.
To make sure I remembered her message, ‘You and I are the same. You never really get to leave, can’t escape who you are. ’”
“What you are is different than who you are, Reggie,” Calvin says.
“You can’t escape your genetic makeup; you can’t rewrite your origin story.
But you’re more than the sum of your mistakes and your mother’s sins.
The future isn’t written by your past; people get to change and grow.
The way you behave and treat others matters more than the blood running in your veins.
You get to choose who you are as a person. ”
“I heard those rumors of you that filtered out too,” Orion continues.
“So I didn’t know what to think about you.
Now I know you actually stayed away all those years, that you went back for Eldi, even though you left your sisters behind .
. . When I remember the sacrifices I made, the judgment calls, I realized you were doing the same.
You were trying to save them all, even if the way you did it was wrong. ”
All the terrible things Orion showed us.
All the moments he entrusted to us. Every cruel thought, every mistake, every moment of shame.
He hid none of it, trusting the better moments would make up for it.
When he saved Eldi, when he held her through those cold nights, when he gave her a chance to hide and run.
He trusted us to judge him worthy anyway. I meet Orion’s eyes and understand.
“So you kept my secrets,” I say.
“You helped me escape Agency 51. You kept Eldi safe when I wasn’t there. I owe you one for that.” He’ll keep this last secret of mine; he will tell them nothing about my being Adele’s clone. He might not even judge me for keeping it. This part of the story is mine to tell.
“So, what do we do?” Luca asks. “We can’t let Adele destroy Orion and Eldi and the last of their species.”
“My kind will protect their own,” Orion says. “We aren’t violent. Our aim was never to conquer and kill for the sake of it. I’m the reason the other children are on this planet. We were looking for sanctuary, safety. Your planet was my last hope. We landed here alone and lost.”
A little voice in my head. Clearer, louder than before, insisting I pay attention. Never alone. Tether, together, tether. We are together.
The answer to beating my mother is obvious. I do the opposite of what she’s counting on me to do. The opposite of what she would do. Secrecy, distrust, discord. Adele has always worked alone and has always worked to keep me that way. Isolated.
Tethers, the one thing that separates me from her.
The one thing I can cling to that proves I am not my mother.
Our genetic code might be the same, but she and I are not the same.
So I will tell them everything, tell them the worst about me and trust they can see through it to the better parts.
Adele may hold more cards alone than I do, but I have a deck of friends, allies, and family that she lacks.
“There’s something you should know about me before we go any further. You all already know Meredith and Zara aren’t Adele’s children by birth or even genetics.”
“And you are, Reggie,” Zara says. “We’ve all figured that much out; it’s kind of obvious. You realized that a long time ago, even if you never said anything.”
“I’m not her daughter. I’m her clone. Everything Adele is, I am too. Her magical signature, her blood, her DNA. I am the same in every way.”
There’s a ringing silence and then—
“Well, fuck, that clears up so many of my questions,” Zara says, eyes unfocusing as she seems to shuffle through childhood memories. “I feel stupid for not thinking of that.”
“Sounds like a reckless experiment Mom would do,” Meredith says nonchalantly.
“You aren’t Adele; you aren’t the same,” Calvin says fiercely, something he said last night too.
“He’s right,” Gemma says. “If you want proof, look at your hands. You’ll have different fingerprints. Even identical twins have different fingerprints.”
Luca snorts. “What, you thought everyone would abandon you because of your genetics? Something you have absolutely no control over? Something that isn’t your fault at all? Sounds about right.”
Just like that, my deepest secret is no longer mine alone.
They all know. And no one cares. Incidental information unless they can turn it into a helpful tool.
I’m reeling, trying not to let it show. It’s not like I expected to be entirely kicked out of this mission, but I expected some resistance.
I was ready for a fight. I mean, it hadn’t entirely escaped my notice that I have people on my side lately.
But it’s a shock to realize how easily I might have had them all along.
It’s a shock to realize how many allies I have. How wrong I’ve been all these years.
“It’s why she could steal the Gauntlet from me in the first place.
But if we go back there, I can fight her now.
I can get the Gauntlet away from her. No matter what she has up her sleeve, I can stop it, rescue the rest of the Chupacabra children she’s taken.
Then we can peacefully resolve this and return the lost children to their parents.
Let her destroy herself trying to form another magical conduit, a weapon to kill the Chupacabras. ”
“What makes you think you can achieve all that?” Zara says.
“I won’t just hold her back. I’ll give her a shove.”
“She overpowered you before. Why do you think you could win this time? We can’t afford to gamble. What if she succeeds in using you, accessing your magic through you?”
When our eyes meet, we’re both back in that moment so long ago. As Adele forced me to turn the Gauntlet on Zara.
“Because I have one thing she never will. Tethers. That’s why I could win this time. She has no one on her side. I have all of you.”
“And we could get a lot more people on our side really quickly,” Calvin says.
Zara catches on first, looks to Wolff with a grin. “Today’s your lucky day, babe. I know how you feel about full disclosure. We might not be breaking the news about aliens, but we have plenty of other gossip no one’s heard yet.”
Wolff looks like Christmas has come early.
Zara turns to Calvin, Luca, and Orion. “So, wolf-boys and lizard-kid, how do you all feel about throwing together a live stream?”