Chapter Five
Anne spent most of the afternoon consumed in the mental examination of every look Frederick Wentworth had given her since her arrival, every comment he had made in her hearing, every chance he had not taken to engage with her or even acknowledge her.
She could not shake it, when their party went up to dress for dinner; the feeling was far too oppressive.
“I think I shall say that I have a headache, and take a tray in my room, Lizzy.”
Elizabeth laid a hand on Anne’s arm, and they hung back as the rest of their party ambled up the wide staircase. “Do you have a headache?”
Anne knew not how to tell her new friend that she could not face Captain Wentworth's cheerful indifference, or even her sister’s disdain and her father’s mortifying attempts to flirt with ladies younger than herself. She merely shook her head.
“Anne, do you hope to avoid Captain Wentworth?”
Her breath caught in her throat, and she looked at Elizabeth with wide-eyed panic. “I never said it was him.”
“But I am right, am I not? I… I think my sister admires him.”
“I think he admires her,” Anne quipped without thinking. She brought a hand to her lips and gave Elizabeth an apologetic look. “I should sooner remove myself than cause any awkwardness.”
“We are to be here a month complete; you cannot avoid him for the duration. Have you really nothing to say to him?”
Anne furrowed her brows and gave a little shrug of her shoulders, stammering in a soft, quivering voice. “I… I hardly know.”
Elizabeth extended her hand to Anne. “I hope I may speak with candor, and as little bias as possible. I have no wish to see you deprive yourself of any enjoyment to be had at this party, nor even some chance at a reconciliation, if that is what you desire. If such a thing were possible… better that my sister should avoid forming any attachment likely to end in heartbreak. She has had enough ill luck of her own.”
Anne pressed Elizabeth’s hand in hers. “I comprehend your meaning. I have long been accustomed to neglecting my own feelings, but I hardly wish to wound your sister. Perhaps it is feeble of me to shrink away from something of such importance – I ought to speak to him, I must summon the nerve to speak to him.”
“Take heart, my friend. Once the first conversation is gotten over with, you may feel some relief. You will be past the worst of it, and may know what to expect of your time here. I would have you and Jane both be at ease.”
Anne appreciated her honesty; it could not have been comfortable for Elizabeth to realize she had befriended a lady who had such a history with the man her sister admired.
She resolved that she would handle it with all the same grace, even if it was painful.
And dinner that evening was excruciating.
Just as she had done the night before, Anne spent much of the meal trying not to look at him – or at least, trying not to be found out as she snuck countless glances down the table.
Once again, Captain Wentworth was seated too far from Anne for them to have conversation, though not so far that she could not hear every word he said.
He had been more reticent on their first evening at Richmond Cove; tonight he was relaxed and affable.
Seated near his sister, he was charming everybody around them with apparent ease.
He held the attention of Miss Bennet, Miss Smith, and Lady Julia Bixler as he told stories of his time in the navy, and Mrs. Croft teased him with japes about their youth.
Ere long, the prevailing subject at the table turned to what must be on everyone’s mind – the nature of their party – and Mrs. Croft cheerfully harangued her brother.
“I am delighted, Frederick, that you have finally resolved to settle down! I comprehend your reasons for waiting, but now that you mean to remain in England, I should think you foolish if you did not find a young lady to share your good fortune with.”
“Well, I am perfectly ready to make a foolish match with any woman between eighteen and thirty.” Captain Wentworth laughed, casting a playful look over all the nearby ladies, and then grinned at his sister. “A little beauty, a few smiles, and a compliment to the navy, and I shall be lost!”
When his gaze landed firmly on Miss Bennet, Anne tried to make herself look away from Captain Wentworth. But then his eyes turned to Anne, as if he had felt her watching him. His carefree smile faltered. “After all, what right has a humble sailor to expect any better?”
Anne dropped her gaze, and she was vaguely aware of Colonel Brandon attempting to address her, but still she listened to Captain Wentworth’s words, spoken with candid ease, but undoubtedly meant to chasten her.
“If I am to speak in earnest, what I desire most in a wife is a firmness of character, a woman who knows her own mind, who is not timid and feeble, ever swayed by persuasion.”
“Anne.”
When she looked across the table, Anne searched Elizabeth’s countenance with confusion, so consumed by her self-recrimination that she had no notion at all of what was happening around her.
Elizabeth’s impertinent look softened with comprehension, and she offered Anne a reassuring smile.
“Anne, are you not astonished and amazed at the colonel’s admission that is addicted to gothic novels? ”
Anne had been startled before, but now she fairly gaped open-mouthed at Elizabeth. “What?”
At Anne’s side, Colonel Brandon inclined his head toward her. “Miss Elizabeth thinks to shock us both, Miss Anne, by saying whatever outlandish thing comes to mind now that she has regained your attention.”
Across the table, Elizabeth emphatically nodded her head, giving Anne a cheeky wink meant to cheer her. Colonel Brandon laughed wryly as Anne's posture relaxed. “She is better behaved to you, Miss Anne, than to me, and so I may often be in want of your assistance.”
Anne let out a breathy giggle, relieved at this distraction from her troubled turn of mind. “Lizzy, could this be true? Surely not! I should sooner believe the good colonel to be truly beset by a frenzy of novel-mania, than to think you would turn churlish after only a brief interval of neglect.”
Elizabeth’s face brightened as Anne bantered with her, and Anne was rather proud of how she managed to rally her own spirits.
Her new friends were determined to divert her with their droll banter, and she simply allowed them to do so.
She found it easy, ere long, to match their tone, in her own softer way, and for the next hour the merry trio delighted themselves by professing a series of amusing opinions which were not at all their own.
There was no opportunity for Anne to speak with Captain Wentworth after the meal, and she was glad of it; she ended the evening in high spirits, and she fell asleep feeling far lighter than she might have otherwise done.
Anne had expected neither such delights nor such dismay, in attending the house party, but she was glad that she would not be without friends as she bore the mortification of meeting with Captain Wentworth.
The next morning, Anne told Elizabeth that she was resolved to heed her
advice and speak to Captain Wentworth, and Elizabeth promised she would help her manage it. They seized their chance after breakfast, when the two captains asked if they might peruse the library. They had been gone a quarter hour when Elizabeth gave Anne a gentle nudge.
“We never determined your stance on gothic novels, Anne; the colonel and I are both enthusiastically in favor of them, naturally. Indeed, perhaps I may go find one now, since this rain will not stop! Come with me, Anne.”
Anne stood and began to follow her friend, but she turned over her shoulder to glance round at Colonel Brandon. The corners of his eyes crinkled as he tried not to laugh. “I only said that I found The Mysteries of Udolpho quite interesting, but I shall not be mocked for liking what I like.”
“I daresay Lizzy’s mockery means that you have delighted her as much as myself, for I should never lament a chance to speak of books, Colonel.
What I like is good conversation with clever, well-informed people.
” Anne felt a strange sense of satisfaction as she beheld the colonel’s look of surprise and approbation at her parting remark.
And then Elizabeth hastened her off to the library, and her levity ebbed away.
The two young ladies entered the library, and Elizabeth made quick work of detaching Captain Benwick from his friend.
She beckoned him to join her in examining some volumes of poetry on a shelf near the window, at the far side of the room, and Anne made a slow circuit of the open area until she was near enough to speak to Captain Wentworth.
His posture turned tense and guarded at her approach, but Anne smiled feebly up at him, searching his countenance for the man she once knew.
They were both older, their troubles perhaps etched into their faces, but Anne allowed herself to show him some genuine feeling, though he would not do her the same courtesy.
Instead he wore a mask of frigid indifference; he more no resemblance to the man she had loved.
“I did not expect to meet with you here,” she said softly.
He studied Anne, his gaze piercing her in a way that made her exceedingly uneasy, before he finally replied. “No, I suppose you did not. If you had, you might not have brought your father and sister – or perhaps you might not have come yourself.”
Anne winced and averted her gaze. “My father was quite adamant that both his daughters should attend the party.”
“And you are ever the dutiful daughter. I suppose tomorrow, when the rest of the guests arrive, he will inform you which of them are up to his exacting standards.”
Anne sucked in a sharp breath and stiffened with offense, but she made no reprimand. He had earned the right to some anger and resentment, after all.