Chapter Six #2
Jane made haste, and as she returned to the parlor, she observed a footman bearing a note for her hostesses, who were whispering in the parlor.
The garden doors were still open; Jane might have simply passed through the parlor to rejoin her friends, but instead she hesitated, fearful of disturbing the ladies.
Lady Sophia took the letter as Lady Dorothea reached for it; the older woman broke the seal and scanned over the letter. “It is from Mr. Bingley – he writes that he and his friends are delayed until tomorrow.”
Her breath caught in her throat, and Jane stepped back from the doorway, knowing it would be wrong to listen.
The Gouldings had made it clear that they wished the other guests’ identities to remain a mystery, and she could not bear to hear another word of what they may have planned.
She had seen another parlor on the other side of the house that also led to the garden, and Jane made a hasty retreat.
She squinted into the bright light of the overcast white sky, and turned in a direction that offered the most shade, tears pricking at her eyes.
Happily, nobody seemed to notice Jane, for the rest of the part was already scattered about the expansive grounds, most of them already at some remove from the house.
She was blessedly alone to indulge in her feelings.
A small stone bench under a sprawling oak at one side of the garden afforded her a modicum of privacy to overcome her panic, and Jane sat staring distractedly at the flowers nearby as she took a few slow, deep breaths to calm the tempest that raged inside her chest. And then, she heard footsteps.
Before she could wipe away the few tears she had shed, Captain Wentworth sat beside her and offered his handkerchief. “Forgive my intrusion, Miss Bennet. I will leave you, if you wish, but I could not ignore your distress. If I may be of any assistance….”
Jane dabbed at her eyes and then tried to give the handkerchief back to him, but he laid his hand atop hers, closing her fingers over the fine linen. He quickly withdrew. “I hope you are not unwell.”
“No. I only require a few moments’ repose to recover.”
“May I ask – I hope I am not too bold – but if you would speak of whatever has distressed you, I should be happy to hear you, Miss Bennet.”
“You are very kind, but I fear I would not acquit myself well in the telling of it.” Jane was overcome with another bout of fresh tears, and her face grew warm from shame.
“Perhaps I should leave you, even if it is against every impulse of gallantry, and my own inclination.” Captain Wentworth stood, but he did not move away. He turned back to her, his fingertips barely brushing against her chin as he tipped her face upward, obliging her to meet his eye.
“Miss Bennet, may I speak plainly with you?”
“Of course.”
“My sister informed me that the Gouldings have a penchant for inviting guests to their parties who have some previous connection – often, some unpleasantness. She confessed it because that is just what has happened to me.” He hesitated, his boots shifting on the rough gravel before he resumed his seat at her side.
“I would tell you of it, if I thought it may be of any comfort to you – if you are similarly afflicted by something that ought to have stayed in the past.”
She turned toward him, looking past the wide brim of her bonnet to meet his eye. “I must admit I am, though not in the way that you might suppose. You will think me terribly cold….”
“That is not possible, after the kindness you have shown James.”
“It is no more than anybody might have done.”
“Not so, Miss Bennet. We recently visited my brother in Shropshire, and his friends there had not half your patience. James knows he must go on with his life, but he requires more gentle coaxing than even I can provide, and you have done splendidly.”
A little sob escaped her lips, and Jane was obliged to make use of his handkerchief again.
“I owe your friend a debt of gratitude, for he has taught me to comprehend my feelings, and those of another, far better than I had previously done. He truly loved Miss Harville – I should like very much to be loved so deeply. I thought, last autumn, that a certain gentleman admired me, but circumstances have made it plain that whatever he felt for me was nothing at all like the sort of love your friend once knew. I am at once relieved to have escaped such a shallow attachment, and mortified to learn that the Goulding ladies have invited that same gentleman to their party.”
“Undoubtedly by design,” Captain Wentworth said with a sigh.
“I daresay they expect me to be grateful, and perhaps I might have been, had I not the occasion to truly consider the sort of enduring devotion Captain Benwick is wont to lament. I would have been grateful to receive the frivolous addresses of a man whose friend and sister persuaded him to abandon me; now I am only glad that I no longer find myself susceptible to such caprice. But I must face him.”
“And I daresay you will do so gracefully, Miss Bennet.” Captain Wentworth moved a little closer to her, his gloved hand briefly grazing hers as he shifted his posture.
“I am impressed by your capacity for such reflections, even if they are unhappy. Would that I had managed such self-knowledge so swiftly after my own heartbreak. I allowed it to torment me for eight long years – and now, as you say, I must face her.”
Jane sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you love her still?”
“My initial reaction to the very sight of her was so averse, so full of anger and asperity, that I thought perhaps I did. And yet, there is wisdom in what you have gleaned from James’s sad story.
Our bond could not have been as strong, for her to give me up, to be persuaded by her father, who now asks me such impertinent, mercenary questions about my fortune, as if he would magnanimously reconsider. I would not.”
Jane instantly comprehended exactly whom he alluded to. “And is Sir Walter’s behavior your only objection? I think he only means to stay until the weather clears.”
“She did not expect to see me, either; she claims she did not, and so I must surmise that she came to this party with the same intentions as I have – to perhaps fare better in a second attachment.” Captain Wentworth’s piercing green eyes locked on hers, and Jane smiled up at him, softening at his tender implication.
“I am sorry you should know the same pain as me. I daresay she must regret giving you up.”
“Perhaps she does, but I cannot know if it is only because her own family’s fortunes have fallen, as mine have risen. We have only spoken a little; I doubt we shall anymore. She has the comfort of her fine friends to ensure she is spared any awkwardness.”
Jane nodded, supposing that he must refer to Miss Elizabeth Elliot. She had seen the haughty woman giving Captain Wentworth the occasional look of disdain while she was holding court with the Bixlers and her father.
“You have friends who would give you that same comfort.” Jane spoke softly, but she felt rather bold. She forced herself to hold his searching gaze, and as his elegant lips curved into a slow smile, she mirrored his tender expression.
“Then perhaps we are both indebted to James, after all, for teaching us to look elsewhere for what we have sought. We have been ill-used, Miss Bennet, but we have found a kindred spirit in one another.”
Captain Wentworth took Jane’s gloved hand in his own and slowly brought it to his lips.
Jane felt a delightful flutter of excitement, beyond anything Mr. Bingley had ever inspired, and she allowed herself the thrill of softly stroking his cheek for a moment before suggesting they walk together.
She would not get too carried away by the rush of such a promising beginning, but she would certainly take the longest path to rejoin their friends.