Chapter 4
Two Weeks Later
It didn’t matter what I had to do personally or professionally, I would always show up for my girl.
Today, her cousins wanted to get a few things out of their parents’ home, so I told her I would be there.
I wasn’t worried about things getting physical, but I knew they had smart ass, disrespectful mouths, and I didn’t tolerate that shit.
Being loyal and protective was a part of my nature—maybe because a part of me wished people were more loyal toward and protective of me when I was growing up—either way, that shit was in me, so I pulled up whenever I could, to be there for Cordova.
She was trying her hardest to grieve in a way that didn’t consume her, but she still had her moments.
I knew today would be hard. As excited as she was about quitting her job and focusing on starting her own business, she was holding back.
I wondered if it was fear or because she felt she wasn’t ready and planned to talk to her about that.
Since the moving truck was in their driveway, I parked my Challenger in my pops’ driveway and walked across the grass.
I bobbed my head in the direction of the movers and headed straight to Cordova’s room, because I knew that was where she’d be.
Sure enough, she was sitting at her vanity, staring into space.
Her brief moment of disassociation allowed me to appreciate my best friend’s beauty without looking like a creep.
Cordova was short and slim, and she had the prettiest milk chocolate brown skin.
Her hair was blonde and cut in a bob that brushed her shoulders that she often wore in messy curls that framed her beautiful diamond shaped face.
Cordova’s eyes were slanted and coffee brown in color, and her nose was pierced.
She couldn’t see for shit, but she only wore her glasses to read or at night, which I thought was cute as hell,…
especially when she’d scrunched her face and push them up the bridge of her nose.
And she had the most beautiful smile and round, juicy lips.
I’d dreamed of kissing those lips since the night we met.
I didn’t feel like my feelings for Cordova were a secret, because I’d made it clear the moment we met that I was hers.
Since she never said or did anything that suggested she felt anything deeper for me, I played the friend role.
My plan was to be more the moment the opportunity presented itself.
While I was in the streets, I felt like I wasn’t good enough for her.
She deserved better than a nigga she had to worry about dying prematurely or catching murder charges.
That was part of the reason why I retired when I did.
For her, I wanted to be legit before my thirtieth birthday.
For her, I wanted to settle down,… get married,…
have babies,… have the family neither of us had growing up.
I pulled the pack of Juicy Fruit out of my pocket and handed her a piece.
She jumped slightly, clutching her chest with a smile.
When she looked up and realized it was me, Cordova gasped and hopped into my arms. I loved how happy she was to see me.
No matter what was going on, Cordova acted like just my presence made it better.
That shit always made me feel good as fuck. Always made me want to be around her.
“You’re here,” she whispered, keeping her arms around me but leaning back so she could look up at me.
“Where else would I be, boo?”
Every time I called her that, she smiled, which was crazy because I’d been calling her that shit for over a decade.
“You said you had a staff meeting today—”
“Nothing is more important to me than you.”
To reiterate that, I lifted the piece of gum. Her eyes watered, and she blinked back tears. As she accepted the gum, she repeated what Brenda used to always tell her when she chewed Juicy Fruit. “Something soft and sweet when life is hard, painful, and sour.”
Every funeral, every bad day, every sickness, her aunt said that and chewed that gum. In her honor, today would be no different.
“Thank you, Him. I love you so much. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You could’ve, but as long as I’m alive, you’ll never have to.”
Cordova’s eyes closed as she savored the gum, and when she smiled and inhaled a deep breath, I felt like my job was done.
“Does it ever get easier?” she asked. “Grief?”
My head shook as I finally released my hold on her.
“Nah. Time doesn’t heal the wound like people say.
It just… forces you to learn how to live with the shit.
How to not be consumed by it. Sometimes the grief is a big circle that takes up the entire box of your day, your life.
Sometimes it’s like a small dot that you can’t even see or feel.
Literally just have to take that shit a day at a time and remember grief is just leftover love.
Ain’t nothing wrong with feeling it when it hits you. Just gotta… keep going when it does.”
Cupping my cheek, she scratched behind my ear before lowering me to her for a kiss.
Honestly, the shit caught me so off guard I couldn’t even kiss her back.
I tried to convince myself it was a platonic display of gratitude, because it wasn’t like she’d slobbed a nigga down or no shit like that.
It was a simple brush of her lips against mine.
“You’re my person, pooh. I thank God every day for you.”
Before I could respond, Cam’s annoying ass voice floated down the hall.
“Take all this shit,” he commanded. “All the furniture in every room except this one.” He pointed in Cordova’s room, and when he noticed I was inside, he took a step back as his head jerked.
“Should’ve known you’d be here,” he grumbled before continuing down the hall.
“Is that cool with you?” I asked Cordova, ignoring him. “Them taking everything?”
She shrugged and avoided my eyes. “I figured that’s what they’d do. Technically, Aunt Brenda only left me the house, not everything inside. Plus, she was their mom, so they can take whatever they want.”
Sucking my teeth, I gripped her hand and led her out of the room.
“Aye,” I damn near barked, stopping the movements of all four men.
“Don’t nobody else touch a motherfucking thing until after my girl gets what she wants.
Do y’all understand me?” They all nodded while Cam and Brandon rolled their eyes and looked at each other.
My voice softened when I looked down at Cordova and asked her, “What chu want, boo?”
She hesitantly looked at her cousins and back at me before almost whispering, “Um,… maybe just her glasses, one of her robes, and one of Uncle Joe’s watches. She left me her jewelry, so that’s all I need.”
“Are you sure?” I confirmed, and when she nodded, I followed her to her aunt and uncle’s old room so she could get what she wanted. When she was done, I told them they could continue.
“Can I talk to you, Cuz?” Brandon asked as we headed back into her room.
Sighing, Cordova nodded as she set the items on her dresser.
“Sure, B. What’s up?”
He rubbed his palms together as he neared her. “Me and Bro been talking, and since Mama gone now, we were hoping we could come to an agreement.”
“An agreement about what?” she asked with a smile, and it broke my heart to know there was hope in hers that this would be a good thing. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was on some bullshit though.
“Well, you know we work for Matthew, and he told us we can have our own crew if we can use this house for a trap house. It’s in a central location in the neighborhood.
You’on really wanna live here by yourself anyway, do you?
Me and Cam were thinking you could just sign the house over to us, and maybe we can give you like…
fifty K or some shit for it. What do you think, Cuz? ”
“Oh,… um…” She chuckled nervously before releasing a shaky breath. “Actually, I want to stay here, Brandon. Sorry.”
He stared at her for a while until she looked away. “What you mean? This really ain’t yo’ house.”
“Actually, it is,” I countered. “Brenda left it to her. She can do what she wants with it. If she wants to stay here, that’s what she’s going to do. Besides, who gave you permission to set up here? This is still my pops’ block, and I know he didn’t.”
Over the years, business expanded, and Pops excelled.
He might not have been a good father to me, but he was a beast in the streets.
His organization supplied now, so none of his sons had to deal.
I was the shooter and enforcer before I retired, and he had no problems capitalizing off the aggression that came from me growing up without my parents.
We might not have had a personal relationship, but there was no doubt in my mind that Pops would have told me if he planned to use this house for a trap house.
That shit didn’t even make fucking sense.
Why would he let his competition come into his neighborhood, right the fuck next door to him, and set up shop?
He wasn’t even selling drugs out of his own house when he was pushing weight.
“I’m about sick of yo’ ass getting in my family business,” Brandon said, pointing toward me.
“Nigga, I will bite yo’ finger and yo’ nose off,” I warned, closing the space between us.
Cordova stepped between us, and the only thing that calmed me down and kept me from doing exactly what I said was her laughter. The girl was goofy as fuck to begin with, but when tensions rose, she either shrunk or laughed to release the energy.
“Draco, please.” She rubbed my belly, knowing that shit would instantly relax me.
I couldn’t stand when she protected them. It had been a good ten years since I’d beat both of her cousins’ asses, and I was itching to do it again. She hated fighting and confrontation, though, so I took a step back.
“Get the fuck outta here, man,” I ordered. “You come back in her room on some bullshit and I’ma lay ya ass out. That’s the only warning you get.”
Like I figured he would, he tucked his tail and left like I said.
Cordova shook her head as she closed and locked the door behind him.
When I sat on the edge of her bed, I knew she wasn’t all the way there mentally, because she didn’t yap about me having on outside clothes.
Instead, she sat next to me and rested her head on my arm.
Taking my hand into hers, she kissed it.
I didn’t bother trying to think of something to say.
Sometimes, all you needed was a person next to you while you went through whatever it was you were going through.
And when words failed me, I let my presence do and be what they could not.