Chapter four
Lily
Iwake up to urgent knocking. My eyelids are sticky and it takes a second for everything to come back. The gala, the wine, Brennan’s words, Gabriel’s scent, how it all went wrong. My cheeks feel puffy and tight; I know what I look like before I even see the mirror.
The knocking doesn’t quit.
“Lily?” Mom’s voice, muffled through the door. “Sweetheart, it’s Mom. Can I come in?”
Of course the registry called her. They probably didn’t waste a second.
Her daughter, being scooped up in a few hours by one of the most powerful packs in the region.
Temporary or not, it’s news. I should’ve called her last night.
I should’ve done a lot of things instead of crying myself to sleep in a ruined dress.
I force myself out of bed, catch a glimpse in the mirror above the desk, and instantly regret it.
Mascara all down my face like black rivers, eyes swollen, blue dress wrinkled and stained with a giant purple wine splotch across the chest. I look like a walking disaster.
Which is exactly right. I’m an omega mourning a bond that never had a chance.
“Just a minute,” I croak, raspy from sleep.
I splash water on my face at the little sink in the corner, scrub at the worst of the mascara until I look slightly less terrifying. The dress is hopeless. The eyes are hopeless. But Mom’s seen worse. She’ll see it again.
I change into some jeans and a t-shirt, trying to make myself look just a tiny bit less… depressed? Depressing? Either way.
When I open the door, there she is right in the hallway, clutching her purse like a life raft, tears already streaming down her cheeks.
“Oh, Lily.” She doesn’t hesitate, just pulls me in hard, both arms around me. “Oh, sweetheart. The director called me this morning and told me everything. I came as fast as I could.”
I let her hold me. I’m not proud; I want that comfort. She smells like home. Like that laundry detergent she’s always used, lavender lotion, nighttime. Safety. Everything I’m about to lose.
“Let me look at you.” She pulls back, hands on my face, eyes scanning every inch of me. Her blue eyes match mine, except hers are full of worry, love, and a whole lot of pain. “My baby. My poor baby. Come, let’s sit down. Tell me everything.”
She leads me to the bed, and we sit, backs to the wall.
Just like when I first presented and she’d visit me here, bringing snacks, stories and hope.
In the early days, she visited every week.
As time dragged on and every pack was a dead end, the visits slowed down, the reassurances faded.
But she never stopped coming. Never gave up, even when I did.
“The director said you found your scent match,” she says. “He said it was Gabriel Santos. The Gabriel Santos, from the Santos pack.”
I nod. I don’t trust myself to speak.
“And he said…” She chokes up, pressing her hand to her mouth. “He said Mr. Santos is taking you in temporarily. That he’s not… that he doesn’t…”
“He doesn’t want me.” I say it flat, like I’ve worn the words down overnight. “He already has an omega. Miles. He promised him he’d never take another omega, and he won’t break that promise. Not even for a biological match.”
My mother makes a small, pained sound. “But that’s—not how—it’s not supposed to be like that. You’re his scent match. You’re meant to be together. That’s how it works. That’s how it’s always worked.”
“Apparently not for us.”
Her face crumples, pain spilling over. “When your father and I found each other, when we imprinted, nothing could have kept us apart. Not family obligations, distance, or anything. The pull was too strong. We needed each other like we needed air.”
I know this story. I know it so well I could recite it in my sleep. Their great love story: omega and alpha, one whiff and it was fate. My father would’ve torn down the registry itself to keep them together, my mother always said.
But Gabriel Santos isn’t tearing down anything for me. He isn’t fighting. Isn’t chasing. Isn’t looking at me like someone he actually wants. Taking me in is simply the safer option—for me and for him. Temporary. Practical. It has nothing to do with desire.
“Maybe the bond is different for different people,” I say, even though it sounds like a lie the second it’s out. “Maybe it wasn’t as strong for him as it was for Dad.”
“Or maybe…” She lets it hang there, but I know what she’s thinking.
“Maybe something’s wrong with me.” I finish it for her.
“No.” She grabs my hands, squeezing so hard it almost hurts. “No, Lily, that’s not what I meant. Nothing is wrong with you. You’re perfect. Any alpha would be lucky to have you.”
She says it, but I see the confusion in her eyes. The doubt. She can’t make sense of it. If it’s supposed to be an unstoppable force, why is Gabriel able to just… let go? Why doesn’t he need me like Dad needed her?
The only explanation is the one that keeps me up at night: I’m defective. It’s easy to walk away from me. Match or not.
“Tell me about Dad,” I say, because I need something else to focus on. I need to remember the match can work, even if it didn’t for me. “Tell me about when you first imprinted.”
She softens. No matter how sad she is, no matter how many years have passed, talking about Dad always lights her up.
“It was at a summer gathering,” she begins, and it’s got that lilt of a story she’s told a hundred times.
“I was twenty, had been at the registry a few years by then. Not as long as…” She catches herself.
Not as long as you. “I’d met some nice packs, but nothing ever clicked.
My omega was always looking for something.
I didn’t know what until I walked into that gathering and caught your father’s scent. ”
She closes her eyes. She’s there again, reliving it. “It was like being struck by lightning. One second, everything’s normal. Next second, I can’t breathe, can’t think, my omega screaming at me to find him, claim him. I didn’t even know his name yet. Just that I needed to find him or I’d die.”
“And Dad felt the same?”
“Exactly the same.” She opens her eyes, all tears and love and loss.
“He told me later he was across the room and nearly knocked people over getting to me. His friend had to hold him back. When we finally met in the crowd, it was like coming home… like nothing in my life had made sense until that moment.”
I think about last night. Gabriel’s scent in the hallway. How my omega went wild, how it felt like the world shifted, how I needed to find him, claim him, never let go.
But when I came to him, he said no.
“What if Dad had already had an omega?” I ask quietly. “What if he’d made a promise to someone else before he met you? Would he have been able to walk away?”
She’s silent for a long time. “I don’t know,” she admits.
“I’ve never thought about it. But Lily, sweetheart…
” She turns to me, takes both my hands. “Your father was a good man. A man of his word. If he’d made a promise to another omega, I think he would have struggled with it the same way Gabriel Santos seems to be struggling.
It wouldn’t have been easy for either of us. ”
“You think he still would’ve chosen you?”
“I think it would have been too strong to resist.” She’s sure. “I think we would’ve found a way. The pull isn’t just attraction. It’s on a deeper level. It doesn’t just go away because it’s inconvenient.”
So why is Gabriel able to resist it?
“But you can choose it, apparently.”
She looks like she doesn’t know how to answer for a second. Then: “I guess so. For some people.”
Nothing makes sense.
“If your father had already claimed an omega, our bond would have dissolved,” she points out. “So why is…”
“He said Miles isn’t officially marked,” I tell her. “But they still call him pack and he won’t take me anyway.”
“Why would his omega not want to be marked? Omegas crave an alpha’s bite.”
“He had a pack before. They died. Maybe that has something to do with it.”
“Oh,” she says. “That’s sad for him.”
I nod and we sit in silence for a while.
“The director said Gabriel is coming for you this morning,” Mom says eventually. “We should get you packed. Do you have everything you need?”
I glance around the tiny room. The narrow bed, the closet, the desk where I’ve spent so many hours waiting for my life to start. Omegas aren’t supposed to settle in. Never make the room a home. Always be ready to go.
“I don’t have much. It won’t take long.”
We work together, packing in silence. Clothes, toiletries, all going into the same small suitcase Mom bought me years ago.
It’s weird, packing like this. Instead of being whisked away by my dream pack, I’m being shuffled to a temporary holding cell.
Because my alpha is doing his duty, not following his heart. Or maybe he is and that’s the problem.
“What’s this?” Mom holds up the blue dress with the stain.
“Wine,” I say. “There was an accident at the gala.”
Her eyes narrow. “An accident? Lily, what happened? Did someone do this to you?”
I hesitate. She doesn’t know about Brennan’s pack.
She knows they’re interested in me. She’s been lightly pushing me in their direction for the last two years since it became obvious that I wasn’t going to have a lot of choices.
But she doesn’t know about the months of being hounded, about how they’ve been cutting off my options, or how the registry director is basically ready to hand me over to them.
I never told her. No point worrying her. I thought I could handle it myself.
But I’m not handling it, am I? I’m running to a pack that doesn’t want me, because the alternative is so much worse.
“Brennan’s pack,” I say. “You know they’ve been pursuing me for a while. Last night, they…” I trail off. How do you sum up all those months of pressure, the wine incident, Brennan’s words, without making it sound even worse? Without setting off protective omega mom mode?
“What did they do?” Her voice goes to steel, every bit of fear replaced by anger. “Lily, tell me.”
So I do, though I admittedly leave out some parts. I tell her how they crowd me at gatherings, how they sabotage my opportunities to meet other packs, how the registry director is pushing their offer on me.
By the end, Mom has gone pale, shaking with fury and fear.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks. “Lily, if I’d known…”
“What could you have done?” I ask, tired. “There’s no proof. Brennan is careful. To the registry, they look perfect, and I should be swooning over the chance to bond with them. If I’d told you, you’d just worry. There’s nothing you could have done.”
“I could have…” She stops. She knows I’m right. Omega mothers have zero power. Omegas have no power. The registry decides, and if they decide Brennan is my future, that’s the end of the story. It’s a cold reality that I’m beginning to understand.
“That’s why Gabriel is taking me in,” I say. “When the director told him about Brennan, about how they were going to push me to accept the Foster pack, he couldn’t leave me to that. He couldn’t just walk away.”
Mom is quiet, processing. Then her voice is softer. “He’s protecting you,” she says. “Even though he won’t claim you, he’s keeping you safe.”
“Yes.”
“It’s… something, isn’t it?” She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, and I almost lose it at how normal it feels. “It’s not what you deserve. But it’s something.”
It’s something. That’s been my mantra since last night. Gabriel won’t love me, maybe, but he’s giving me a way out. Maybe even a chance to find something else. At least I won’t end up with Brennan Foster.
I guess it’s at least a step in the right direction.
“I should tell you about the Santos pack,” Mom says, straightening up. “What I know, anyway. If you’re living with them, even temporarily, you should know what you’re walking into.”
“What do you know?”
“Not much. They’re private. But their reputation is very good.
Gabriel Santos is known as a fair businessman, a strong leader.
The pack sponsors charities all the time, including the one last night.
They’re wealthy, but not flashy about it.
” She frowns. “I’d heard they had an omega, but not the details. ”
I remember what Gabriel told me. About the massacre and the broken omega they rescued. Miles has already lost everything once. No wonder Gabriel made him that promise. No wonder he’s scared to break it.
I almost understand him. Miles is about to have another omega come into his territory—what he might perceive to be a threat to everything stable. He’s going to hate me. If I were him, I’d hate me too.
“I’m scared,” I admit. “Not of them hurting me. Just of being somewhere I’m not wanted. Of being the reason someone else feels threatened.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Mom pulls me in, holds me like I’m little again, like she can keep the world away. “You are not an intrusion. You are a gift. Any omega would be lucky to have you as a packmate. Any alpha would be blessed to call you theirs. If they can’t see that, that’s on them—not you.”
I want to believe her. I do. But it’s hard when even my match found it easy to turn me down.
We finish packing. Clothes, a couple books, the jewelry box from my grandmother, a pearl necklace Dad gave Mom when they bonded and she gave to me when I entered the registry.
“Take this.” Mom hands me a small photo, framed. Our family: Mom, Dad, my sister, me. We’re all smiling, all together, back when things were simpler.
“Mom, I can’t take this. It’s yours.”
“I have copies.” She closes my fingers around it. “I want you to have something to remind you that you have a family, no matter what. You’re not alone, Lily. You’ll never be alone.”
I tuck it in between sweaters, trying not to cry again. But I do.
A knock at the door makes us both jump.
“Miss Ashworth?” Director Gibbs, voice muffled through the wood. “Mr. Santos has arrived. Are you ready?”
I look at my mother. She looks at me. For a second, time stands still. This is it.
“I’m ready,” I call, though I’m not sure it’s true.
Mom cups my face, brushing away tears I didn’t even notice. “You are strong,” she says fiercely. “You are worthy. And you’re going to find the happiness you deserve. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Mom.”
“Good.” She kisses my forehead, then steps back, putting herself together. “Let’s go meet this pack of yours.”
I grab my suitcase, take one last look at the room that’s been my whole world for six years, and step out.
Gabriel Santos is waiting at the end of the hallway.