Chapter 38
Lydia
I felt light again. My head was spinning from how I was moving in the best way possible. I knew he was in the room at some point, watching me. I always knew when someone was watching me. I didn’t care. I needed this, and it still wasn’t nearly enough.
I moved to ‘Sex and Candy,’ slowing down and calming my breathing from the previous song. I felt his body heat behind me, and his hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me to him. I didn’t want to stop until the song ended, so I ignored him and kept moving with my eyes closed.
“Lydia…”
His voice was low and strained. I could feel it reverberating through his chest to my back. I didn’t answer and rolled my head back on him.
“I don’t know how slow I can go when you’re doing this,” he grumbled.
I moved and spun out of his reach until the song ended. I took the earbud out and opened my eyes, my body now calmer and my breathing more even. The night before was far away now, but I still had more to do to get myself back. I needed time alone.
Daniel stood in front of me with my other earbud still in his ear. His hair was a mess, his jaw was clenched, and his pupils were dilated so wide that his eyes looked black. I didn’t bother looking any lower.
Do I say something?
He broke the silence and cleared his throat. “Do you do that often?”
“Yes. It helps me calm down.”
He nodded and swallowed. “I…”
I took a step toward him and put my hand on the middle of his chest. “If this is going to work, we need to get used to being direct with each other.”
He put his hand on mine. “I was worried you had regrets.”
I frowned. “I don’t do regrets. You?”
“Yeah, I have a lot of regrets. Not about this,” he said the last words with an exhale.
I took my phone from his hand and sent Becca a text.
?? I accept. Can I start next week?
She answered instantly.
?? Oh my god yes! We both need this week off. I’m so happy!
He was watching my every move, so I put the phone on the counter and looked up at him. “Will you update Madelyne?”
His phone rang from my bedroom before he could answer and he went to get it. All I could hear was faint whispering and chuckling.
My phone buzzed with Becca’s name.
?? You and DANNY! I’m talking to him right now!
?? Yes
?? That’s it? I want details! Not THOSE details but you know
?? Are you ok with it?
?? Yes of course!
I heard him say his goodbyes and she sent another message.
?? Just don’t hurt him ok?
?? I’ll try not to
Not unless he asks me to.
I closed the chat when he came back with a sheepish look on his face.
“So, Becca knows about us,” he said. “I hope it’s okay that I told her. She called to ask how I felt about you quitting and—”
“I think the point of me doing that was so we wouldn’t be keeping this a secret.”
He shook his head, grabbed the belt loops on my jeans, and pulled me to him.
“I still don’t completely understand you, or how your brain works, but I want to.”
He kissed me softly, staying there for a moment before pulling back.
He was holding back every time he touched me, and I wondered what he would have been like with a normal person who didn’t have my…
baggage, I guess. Would he have still been gentle and slow, or would he have slammed me against the wall back at the hotel?
I moved my fingers through his hair, fixing it a little bit and trying to ignore how fast his heart was beating, which was very visible on his neck.
“You need to go back home, talk to Cole and Jake.”
He tightened his hold. “Come with me.”
I shook my head and smiled. “We’ll talk, but I need to be alone for a little bit. Tomorrow, too. I just need one quiet day to… recharge.”