Chapter 7 #2
“Brielle, you know this is fucked up and you still gone—“
“You told me to be happy Street.” My voice held even though it cost me. “So that’s what I’m going to do.”
I turned and started walking back toward my car before he could say anything else. Before I lost the battle with everything that was trying to come up through my chest and out of my eyes in the middle of a gym parking lot.
I made it to my car.
Got in.
Pulled the door closed.
And sat there for a full minute before I could make myself start the engine because my hands weren’t cooperating the way I needed them to.
He had done to me exactly what I had been doing to him for years.
And it hurt exactly as much as I deserved it to.
—
When I left there, I drove straight to Simone’s direction.
I had her location and saw that she was still at Gutta’s house.
This was too much for me to handle on my own.
I tried my best for years not to bring up my feelings for Street or hardly mention him because of the respect I had for Gutta and Simone’s relationship.
I knew first hand that drama between me and Street couldn’t trickle down and cause problems with Simone. I never wanted that.
Although Gutta is hood as hell, and rough around the edges, he treats Simone so damn good. Everything he promised that he’d do once he got her, he stood on that and he loved her more than I ever expected.
I pulled up to Gutta spot, parked, and called Simone telling her I was outside. She came to the door and waited for me to walk up. We hugged tight as soon as I got into the entrance. I followed her inside.
“You still over here? Is your man home?” I asked, checking to see if the coast was clear before I started running my mouth.
“Girl yes, I’m going home tomorrow, supposedly.
The renovations should be done at my place.
And I need to be back in my own shit before I kill Deon ass!
Why the fuck I got a random text about him not being who I think he is last night while we were on our date.
Hoes are playing on my phone behind him and he swear it’s not that. ”
Wait? What? Gutta? Are you sure about that?
I just can’t see him having another woman, or cheating at all.
That nigga love your dirty drawls. Let me see the message.
” I said as we walked into the living-room and sat down.
She passed me her phone and I read the message.
I told Simone that message could mean anything, but I understood why she was pissed.
“Girl, pissed ain’t even the word. Then the nigga tried to fuck the sense out of me last night so that I wouldn’t remember or at least not bring it up again. I know my man, and I know something ain’t right. I don’t feel like he’s cheating for real, but I know he’s hiding something big.”
“Well, I hope not. All you can really do is trust his word. I came over here to cry, and you have your own stuff going on. I’m sorry friend.”
“Sorry? Girl please. What’s up? You know I’m always here for you.”
“First off, the other night when I went with Marcus to that political event, Street was there with Kyla Bridges! They were hugged up, and together the whole night. She was his date.” I revealed and Simone picked up her coffee cup from the coffee table in front of us, she took a sip and leaned back.
I knew then that this wasn’t a shocker to her.
“Wait, you knew?” I asked.
“I mean, you see the blogs, who in Dallas doesn’t know that. I honestly don’t think it’s real, but I don’t know. Gutta don’t speak to me about Street love life, but as much as I’m around Street, I’ve never been around her. He’s not with her like that. Maybe it’s just for his image.”
“See, that’s what I was hoping, then I popped up at his gym today to talk to him about Marcus, and Kyla was there.
Again, they were hugged up. That shit triggered me so bad and it hurt like hell to see.
The other night when I saw them at that event together, I slid away from Marcus and blew Street phone like crazy, only to be ignored.
He no longer wants anything to do with me and I know it’s all because of her.
You know people are calling them a power couple?
He’s in the public eye with another woman!
You know how much he means to me,” I explained and damn near cried.
“Wait! You taking me too fast! Bri, you need to hear me when I say this. You made your decision over four years ago, and you didn’t choose Street.
Please let it go, if he’s truly happy with Kyla, and this isn’t just a publicity stunt, why can’t you just let him have that?
You don’t think you’ve hurt that man enough?
Now that you see he’s not obsessed and chasing you, you want to come around and cause friction.
Please don’t be that girl. It’s not you, and it’s not cute! You have a man, be happy with that.”
“And what did you mean when you said that you went to talk to him about Marcus?” She asked.
I took in everything Simone had just said, and she was right.
I couldn’t stand to see Street happy with someone else.
Since his fame, all people knew and cared about was Street, but all my life I had been in love with Xavier.
Hell yeah I was jealous that it wasn’t me on his arm, but he knew why that couldn’t happen. I was stuck.
I told Simone what I’d heard Marcus say and she placed her hand over her mouth while she listened.
She agreed that that wasn’t a coincidence and there had to be some kind of connection.
She said that once harming kids came into play, she couldn’t be quiet and that she needed to at least tell Gutta.
Mazi was no longer a kid, but I understood what she was saying.
I didn’t want to be wrong about what I’d heard and place Marcus in harms way for no reason.
Street and Gutta together would be hell for Marcus.
I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t given out false information, but I know what I heard, and I know how it made me feel when I heard it.
Simone set her coffee cup down again and looked at me straight.
“I have to tell Gutta about this. I know you don’t want to put Marcus in a bad position off a gut feeling but this ain’t just a gut feeling Bri.
You heard what you heard. And if that man had anything to do with Mazi getting shot that’s not something I can sit on.
” She shook her head. “Gutta would never forgive me if I knew something that could protect his family and stayed quiet about it.”
I nodded because she was right and I knew she was right.
“Just be careful how you bring it to him,” I said. “I don’t want this turning into something where somebody gets hurt based off what I think I heard.”
“I hear you. But Gutta is smarter than that. He’s not going to move off speculation alone.
” She looked at me. “You need to be careful too. You’re going back home to a man who may have tried to have your ex crush’s little brother killed.
Remember, you the one who said Marcus knew everything about Street already and kept up with all his fights.
What if he did this to try and hurt the man that you really love?
Anybody who has heard of Street, they know that his family is the most important thing to him. ”
“I know. That’s what I’ve been thinking but I don’t want to believe that could be true Simone. I just don’t. Marcus is too kind and gentle to pull something like this.
“Bri.”
“I know Simone. I’ll be fine, and I’ll figure it out.”
She looked at me like she wasn’t fully convinced but she let it go because she knew me well enough to know I had already made up my mind.
I wasn’t going to run from Marcus based on a phone call I had overheard.
I needed to be smart about this. Watch him.
Pay attention. And the moment I had something real and solid I was going to move.
We hugged at the door and I got in my car and sat there for a second before I pulled off.
My phone buzzed on the passenger seat.
Marcus had texted.
Marcus: Hey babe. You coming home soon? I’m cooking.
I stared at that text for a moment. It was simple. Normal. The kind of text a man sent his woman when he was thinking about her and wanted her home. The kind of text I had received from him a hundred times before and never thought twice about.
I thought twice about it now.
I typed back. On my way.
Put the phone down and pulled out of Gutta’s driveway and drove toward the life I had built with a man I was no longer sure I knew.
—
The condo smelled like garlic and something roasting when I walked through the front door.
Marcus was in the kitchen with his back to me, moving around like everything was fine.
Music playing low from the speaker on the counter.
Glass of wine already poured and sitting on the island waiting for me the way he always did when he cooked.
He looked over his shoulder when he heard me come in and he smiled.
“There she is. I was starting to wonder about you.”
“I went to see Simone,” I said. “Lost track of time.”
“How is she?”
“Good.” I set my bag down and walked to the island and picked up the wine. I took a sip and stood there watching him move around that kitchen like a man with nothing on his conscience.
He was good at this. That was the thing I kept coming back to. He was good at normal. At comfortable. At making everything around him feel settled and safe. This is exactly why I was questioning what I knew that I had heard.
“You okay?” He glanced at me while he stirred something on the stove.
“Just tired,” I said.
“Sit down. Food will be ready in twenty minutes. You can tell me about your day while I finish up.
I sat on the barstool at the island and held my wine glass. I watched him and smiled at the right moments and answered his questions about my day and performed every bit of normal that I had in me.
But something had shifted in me that I couldn’t shift back.
And Marcus had no idea.
—
That night after he fell asleep I laid in the dark next to him and stared at the ceiling and thought about Street’s face in that parking lot.
That cold controlled anger when I told him what I heard.
The way his jaw had gone tight and his fist had come up to his mouth like he was fighting hard to not lose it.
He had stood there forcibly holding himself together.
He knew something I didn’t know yet.
I could feel it. He had heard what I said about Marcus and something had clicked into place for him that he wasn’t ready to share with me. And I had walked away before he could say whatever was sitting on the edge of his mouth when I turned and left.
Maybe that was a mistake.
Marcus shifted in his sleep beside me and I went still and waited until his breathing evened back out and then I went back to staring at the ceiling.
I thought about what Simone said. That I had made my decision years ago and I hadn’t chosen Street.
That was true. Every single word of it was true.
But I also knew that the decision I was living with right now didn’t feel like a decision I had made freely.
It felt like a decision I had made out of fear and comfort.
I cowardly took the path of least resistance and I had been paying for it quietly ever since.
I turned my head and looked at Marcus sleeping beside me.
He looked peaceful. Happy genuinely. Unbothered. The sleep of a man who had nothing stressing him.
Or the sleep of a man who was very good at hiding things away.
Tomorrow I was going to pay closer attention. To everything. The calls he took. The rooms he stepped into. The names he mentioned. I was going to watch Marcus the way he had apparently been watching Street. I was going to find out exactly who I had been sleeping next to.
And if I found what I was afraid I was going to find —
I was going to have to make a real decision for the first time in my life.
Not the safe one. But the right one.
An hour had passed and I couldn’t sleep. There was so much I had left unsaid to Street today and I was holding onto regret. After debating long and hard with myself, I eased out the bed and went down the hall to make a call.
I called Street and it was after midnight. He didn’t answer, so I called right back. Finally, he picked up in a whisper.
“Bri, what is it? Is everything okay?” he asked in an annoyed hushed tone.
“Yes, but I called because earlier, there was things that I needed to say and couldn’t get out. You never deserved the treatment that you got from me. The thought of you moving on has me sick because we both know that we belong together.” I whispered. Before I could continue, he cut me off.
“You gotta stop. This is the most you’ve made your presence known in the past four years.
I’m having a date night and had to step away to take your call so that you won’t do the same thing you did the other night and call my phone repeatedly.
Go back to your nigga and let this go. We’re not kids anymore.
But I love you enough to say this, if that nigga had anything to do with my brother getting shot, you may not wanna be too close to him when it’s time for him to pay for that.
Goodnight Brielle. Take care of yourself.
” Street ended the call and left me there with tears falling down my face. I had really lost him.
Even with us going four years, without speaking, things never felt final like this. I could feel everything he was saying, and I did honestly believe that what we had was over. I had nobody to blame but myself.