8. Riot St. James #4
“And you sound stupid. Let me head out. Oh, and fuck you too with them Felicia braids in your hair!” he shot, referring to the twists that I put in my hair after I washed it.
He was trying to imply that I looked like Felicia from the movie Friday.
Granted, I knew that he was probably only saying that to lighten the mood, probably even to get me to laugh, but for whatever reason, his comment made me angry as hell.
Like, I wasn’t too upset about the insult, but I was mad about what just took place, and that comment was just the icing on the cake.
Before I knew it, I jumped on his ass, and my hands just went to swinging.
I was small, and quick, so my punches were landing everywhere, holding this nigga by his short cut, and just landing blows.
Dolo was trying to restrain me, and I don’t know why I got the bright idea to take his glasses off his face mid fight, and just out of anger, I broke them.
It took him a while, but he was able to get a hold of my arms, take me over to the bed, and he slammed me.
I’m talking one of those wrestling slams, where you try to break someone’s back.
Even though he slammed me down on the bed, the slam made me scream because he had my ams restrained, and I felt like he was going to punch me in my damn face.
“Shut the fuck up! As much as I want to slap the shit out of your ass, I’m not.
You know how much I paid for them motha fuckin glasses?
You going to pay to get them fixed. I swear to God you going to pay for that shit.
What the fuck is wrong with you, Riot? You saying disrespectful shit to me, and you putting your fuckin hands on me!
Let me would have said some green shit to you like that and started hitting you.
I would have been the worst nigga in the world! ” he roared.
“You accusing me of shit that’s not my fault. I don’t like that!” I screamed, my voice cracking. I knew it wouldn’t be long for me to start crying. That’s just how angry I was.
“I didn’t accuse you of shit! I told you why I was upset. I’m out. I need a fuckin break from you. I ain’t feeling this shit right now. Maybe this relationship shit ain’t for me,” he finished.
He released my hands from his grip, and then he stood up. That last part that he said sent me to a place where I didn’t even think that I could go. I swear I felt my heart drop down, and shatter. I was already shedding tears because I was angry, now I was shedding them because I was hurt.
“Dolo, don’t go. I didn’t mean what I said.
I only said it because I was angry,” I shot up from the bed, wiping at my eyes, watching him as he picked his glasses up from the floor that had broken.
Like he didn’t even hear me, he continued walking out of the room, while I was behind him, tugging on his shirt, telling him not to leave.
He went down the stairs, over to the front door, and he walked out.
“Dolo, I said that I was sorry,” a bitch was fuckin crying now.
Real tears falling from my eyes, as we were on the porch. I really pissed him off because my tears didn’t mean shit to him. He kept walking, going for his truck that he had pulled on the side of Ari’s house.
At first, I was going to continue to stand here and just let him go because I felt that I was doing too much, but I loved this man too much to just let him walk away.
I raced over to the passenger side, trying to pull the door open, but he locked it.
When I heard the engine roar from him starting the car up, I knew that he wasn’t going to unlock the door for me.
Because I knew that, I did the only thing that made sense to me, and I jumped my ass on the hood of the car.
This was the kind of shit that you would see on movies.
The old Riot would have been ready to kill somebody if they told me that they saw me carrying on like this for a nigga in my future.
I just knew that I would never be capable of doing some shit like this but look at me.
I guess this was what the fuck they meant when they said that love will make you do some crazy things.
I was beating on the windshield, telling Dolo not to leave. I was crying all kinds of apologies to him, telling him that I was sorry for the stuff that I said to him back in the house, and how I only said it out of anger.
“Riot, go inside the motha fuckin house bruh!” he snapped, rolling his window down, so that I could hear him.
“No! No, because you’re going to leave and stop talking to me.
Dominique, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean the stuff that I said.
I didn’t meant to break your glasses. Give them to me, and I’ll take them to get fixed in the morning,” I cried to him, still sitting on the hood of his car, acting like a complete nut.
He didn’t say anything, but I knew he heard me.
I didn’t know what else to say, or do, but I knew that I didn’t want him to leave.
“This is not a good feeling. I’m thinking that I’m helping my man, getting rid of someone that I felt could be a possible threat, and you’re punishing me for it,” I cried, wiping my eyes. He didn’t say anything else to me after that.
He was quiet, and so was I. I sat on the hood of his car for about five more minutes, and once reality hit me that he wasn’t going to say anything else to me, or come get me, I got down.
My heart was shattered because he had basically broke up with me, and my tears didn’t mean shit to him.
“Come here, Riot,” he eventually called out for me as I was walking away.
I felt like I’d already humiliated myself enough for the night, so pretending that I didn’t hear him, I continued to walk up the driveway.
Behind me, I could hear his truck turning off, and as I was nearing the front door, you could hear Dolo running behind me, trying to catch up to me.
He was the one to reach over me, open the door for us, and I stepped inside.
I was embarrassed as hell, not wanting to face him, so I went upstairs to my bedroom.
He was following behind me though. We made it back to the room, and I went for the bed, pulling my legs up, crossing them Indian style.
Dolo went over to the wall, posting with his back against it, and he crossed his arms.
I could feel his eyes on me. The stare that he was giving me was intense, so it made me lift my head up, and look at him.
He looked so different without his glasses.
I felt bad for breaking them. I really was going to take them tomorrow to get them fixed.
I stretched out this man’s shirt and everything from when I was pulling it, as he had me in the air.
For at least ten minutes, neither one of us said anything. Dolo was the one to eventually walk over, and he stood in front of me.
“I was never mad at you Riot for handling your business. You did the exact same thing that I would have done if I overheard that nigga on the phone, telling someone that bullshit. You have my back in ways that I’ll forever be thankful for.
You have some people that would have heard that conversation, and probably wouldn’t have reported back to me, let alone shot and killed that nigga for me, so I do thank you for that.
I never had to question your loyalty when it came to me.
I should have walked in here tonight and thanking you should have been the first thing that I said to you.
That’s where I went wrong, and I’m sorry for that.
I hate the way that I worded the shit about you always being in the middle of some bullshit popping off.
I swear that’s not what I was trying to say to you.
All I was really saying was that I hate that I keep putting you in all these fucked up scenarios.
Bae, that’s all I was getting at. You took it, and you went left with that shit.
Completely left field. Talking to a nigga all crazy, breaking my glasses, hitting me.
If I wasn’t a real nigga, I would have slapped your ass back,” he finished, and while he was talking to me, I sat here, listening to him, as the tears fell, holding onto his every word.
I was still so upset, and sad. His choice of words still felt like he was breaking up with me, and I think that’s the part that was fuckin with my emotions terribly.
Where I was going wrong earlier is just listening to hear, but I wasn’t listening to understand where he was coming from. I think we both were doing that, and that’s why all of this got blown out of proportion.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you, and how I reacted.
I didn’t mean to break your glasses. I’ll take them to get fixed in the morning.
I’m sorry for putting my hands on you. I just…
I just love you so much and I was only trying to defend you and have your back.
I felt like you were mad at me for doing that.
It made me feel like I wasn’t being appreciated,” I was honest with him, head down, wiping my eyes, just truly in my feelings right now.
The way I was carrying on right now were things that I didn’t typically do.
Dolo lifted me up by putting his hands up under my arms, and carried me over to the ottoman, where he sat down, and placed me on his lap.
The tears that were lingering on my face, he lifted his head up, so that he could kiss them away.
When he got to my lips, he kept kissing me there.
That last kiss when he went in, he softly went in for a few seconds, biting gently on my bottom lip.
It started with just gentle bites, but on that last one, this man bit my bottom lip hard as hell to the point that I winched a little from the pain.
At first, I’m thinking that he might have just gotten a little carried away, but when he could literally hear me winching, and he continued to do it, that’s when it hit me that he was doing this shit on purpose.
He eventually pulled away, and with watery eyes, I laid my head on his chest.
“You don’t know how bad I want to get my lick back and put hands and feet on you.
You broke my fuckin glasses, pulled my hair, and was swinging on me.
I’m a man, so I can’t go around hitting you back, no matter how low you stoop, and put your hands on me.
I had to get my lick back somehow,” he basically confirmed that he bit my ass on purpose, and I wasn’t sure if I was still running on a high from what we just went through, or if that bite actually caused me pain because with my head on his chest, I was still wiping away tears.
“I never saw you cry like this. How the fuck you the one wreaked all the havoc, destroyed my property, stretched out my shirt, beat my ass, jumped on top of my car, yet you the one doing all the fuckin crying? Bae, I should be in this bitch crying and carrying on. Not you,” he voiced, leaning his head down, so that he could see my face, and see that I was still shedding tears.
“You broke my heart,” I confessed it to him.
“Broke your heart how, baby? What did I do to you? You broke my heart too. I wanted to slam your ass in here,” he said, using his hands to dry my tears.
I didn’t say anything else to him. I was still just trying to calm down and understand how it had gotten to this point with us tonight.
I was handling this the way that I was for a lot of reasons, but I think the main one was the fear that I had of losing him.
I thought that this man was going to break up with me, and never talk to me again, and that’s the part that made me so emotional.
I didn’t do well with goodbyes. Trauma caused that.
That feeling of losing my dad, and my brother, which had been the only two men that I knew how to love, and they left me.
I thought that Dolo was going to turn around and do the same thing. Not die but leave out of my life.
“Go pack a bag so that you can come back home with me,” he said.
I removed my head from his chest and looked up at him.
“I’m sorry for what I did,” I told him, and he smiled.
“Bae, we good. Go back your bag,” he said, tapping me on my butt, so that I could get up.
I got up this time, and I went for my closet, grabbing my duffle bag that was inside, and I packed clothes. Tonight had really stressed me the hell out. I couldn’t wait to get to his place, so that I could get in bed, and just take my ass to sleep.